Betty's Wok & Noodle Diner

Fusion dining, choose-your-own-adventure style

by Robert Nadeau

DINING OUT

Betty's Wok & Noodle Diner 250 Huntington Avenue (Symphony), Boston (617) 424-1950 Open daily, 11:30 a.m. to 11 p.m. AE, DC, MC, Visa Beer and wine No smoking Ramp access

I used to joke that I was the last Communist, because I so love Chinese food and Cuban music. Betty's, which has something of both, is still not revolutionarily correct, because it has replaced Ann's Cafeteria. Ann's was one of those truly proletarian joints where you could order hash and eggs or rice pudding all day, and refill your own water glass any number of times. Places like this are disappearing faster than rent control or American-made toasters -- and no one can explain why diners are "retro" and cool, but cafeterias are just seedy and cheap.

But talk won't bring back Ann's, and there is much "Asian-Latino" cooking to cherish at Betty's, even if it isn't a real diner and there isn't a real Betty. (The owners are Maryann and Karen, from Canada, neither Asian nor Latina.) Betty is a picture, on the wall and the menu, of a '50s-style woman with black hair and that classic Hopi Indian double-bun hairdo, putting a cup measure of rice into her washing machine. Betty is also a young woman in large plastic glasses and big hair, as modeled by sometime hostess M. Balla.

The menu is mostly a matter of combinations and permutations. There is beef, chicken, shrimp, tofu, and vegetables. There is a choice of seven sauces. There is jasmine rice, brown rice, chow foon noodles, soba noodles, Chinese egg noodles, flat Shanghai noodles. You can pick out your own bowl of vegetables from a 15-item vegetable bar, like at Fire + Ice. Or you can let the chefs pick a bowl of vegetables for you. You can have your choice of noodles and vegetables and protein in broth (sauce on the side). You can have your choice of rice and protein and vegetables and sauce in a wrap called a "Flatbread Sammi."

There are altogether too many choices, and too many spices, and too many cuisines, and the look is '50s and the music is Cubanismo!, but then two of the sauces are Thai, and that was the '80s, so you may be tempted just to order appetizers and a few beers and think it all over.

And that could be very successful. The single best thing I ate in two trips to Betty's was a "cool cukes and weed" salad ($5.95): cucumbers and green seaweed in a slightly creamy vinaigrette of wasabi, ginger, and a little rosemary, with seeds on top. Think all the flavors of a California maki without the avocado. I also got pretty happy on curried rodeo rings ($2.95), which are fried onion rings glorified by a homemade curry powder with extra coriander and cardamom. You dip them in something that looks like tomato sauce but tastes like apple sauce with hot pepper. And I certainly didn't mind the "Sweet Heat Cuban Coleslaw" ($2.95), although the chili flavor made it more like Haitian coleslaw. Rainbow peanut noodles ($3.95) were a lighter spin on sesame noodles. A "Chinese Thunderbird Salad" ($7.95) had fried noodles and various vegetables, and a dressing of tamarind, curry, and ginger -- but for all that, it didn't make much impression except "spicy."

On my earlier visit, the "Mondo Bongo Combo Sampler" ($9.95) suffered from an overly evenhanded distribution of hot pepper in all three fried objects and their sauces. Usually, a contrast in terms of where the pepper gets added makes a dish more interesting to eat. Of the contents, "Moo Shu Firecrackers" ($4.25 by themselves) looked the coolest, being extra-long vegetarian spring rolls served in a brandy snifter. But they were greasy. "Juan Tons" ($4.95) and "Golden Shrimp Balls" ($5.95) were greasy too. But frying had improved by my second visit. The pick of the dips was the Vietnamese nuoc cham (with the spring rolls), although the Chinese mustard (with the Juan Tons) was fun, too.

But we have only put off the inevitable confrontation with all those choices. As I see it, the protein and starch are pretty much up to you. I love soba (the Japanese buckwheat noodles) and chow foon (the fat, soft Cantonese pasta), but you won't go wrong anywhere (the jasmine rice improved over my two visits). The broth in the noodle soups isn't good enough to tout, but it's okay if you want soup. The shrimp, though small and expensive, are perhaps the pick of the protein, but the others are okay too.

Your big decisions are sauces and vegetables. The two sauces that stood out for me were the "Asian Pesto," which combines Asian anise basil, mint, and cilantro to notable effect (especially on soba), and the "Madras-curry," because it isn't a canned Madras curry but a fresher combination to somewhat Thai effect. The "red Thai coconut" and "Cantonese hoisin" were true to their types, but weak, and the other three were even weaker. This is surprising in a restaurant where hot pepper gets into just about everything, and it may be adjusted soon. Maybe sooner if you ask for, say, extra hoisin, explaining that this is your favorite way to get sweet, hot, and menthol flavors.

With vegetables, do it yourself, and remember Nadeau's Rules for Buffets: Look at Everything First; Take No More than Three Items per Trip. This gives you something other than stir-fried randomness, and it gives the chefs a chance to get one-fourth of your dish exactly right, sometimes more. My three of a recent selection were snow peas, broccoli, and tofu.

Drinks at Betty's get expensive, with $4 Sam Adams and a dozen bottles of wine (none of which go with hot pepper all that well), from $23 to $34. The "Moon Glow specialty-brewed" iced tea ($1.75) has vanilla in it, like Thai iced tea. The hot tea ($1.95) brews well in a paper sack, from well-chosen loose tea in a variety of flavors. Serious espresso drinks are Cuba's contribution, and while it's not real Cuban-strength coffee, it comes in American-size cups, and will get you up and dancing.

Desserts are surprisingly basic. There's a fudgy chocolate cake ($4.95), a couple flavors of sorbet ($2.95), and ice cream ($3.95), of which "roasted coconut" tastes like everyone else's "coconut." A "Kahuna Cup" ($4.95) is ice cream and chocolate sauce on some kind
of walnut wafer. Dessert is not an exciting course at Betty's.

The atmosphere is very lively and already crowded on weekend evenings, starting at pre-Symphony hours. Service is excellent, as the young staff seem to enjoy the concept, and they don't mind pointing out the picture of Betty or the actual owners. The concept is a little forced, and the results are still uneven, but there's nothing that can't be adjusted to make this restaurant Robert Nadeau can be reached at robtnadeau@aol.com.

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