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R: ARCHIVE, S: MOVIES, D: 12/21/2000,

Dude, Where's My Car?

Yep, it's even worse than Meet the Deedles. Every few years, a new suburban slacker comedy tries to reproduce the success of Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure with bong-watered-down results. The impetus behind such flicks seems to be some untalented and desperate screenwriter's desire to share the stoned conversations and antics of himself (these flicks are always male pipe dreams) and his buddies. The plot is the same as ever: two indistinguishable perpetual adolescent wastoids overcome incredible odds only because they're too brain-dead to let anything bother them. Here it's Jesse (Ashton Kutcher) and Chester (Seann William Scott), who wake up one morning with no car, no memory of the night before, and two sets of aliens demanding from them some sort of gizmo. You do have to hand it to screenwriter Philip Stark (not the world-famous designer) for daring to resort to the elderly-lady-with-a-filthy-mouth gag in the first 10 minutes. Also putting in appearances are a dog who smokes pot, a stripper who turns out to have a penis, and Fabio. Stick around for the end credits, as director Danny Leiner has added some hilarious outtakes! At the Copley Place, the Fenway, the Fresh Pond, and the Circle and in the suburbs.

-- Mark Bazer