E-Mail This Article to a Friend Battle of the sexes

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend and I have been getting along famously for almost three years. We never really fights or go through bad times, but we now have a situation that threatens the peace. A few weeks back, my boyfriend and I were in a bar with some friends. We had just seen that Quentin Tarantino movie Kill Bill: Vol. I. We started talking about women’s athletic prowess — not like we believed that Uma Thurman is some sort of Olympic athlete or anything — and I mentioned having taken a few martial arts courses when I was in college. We continued to talk, and it ended up with my boyfriend and I competing in an arm wrestling match. The problem is, I beat him, and not once, but twice. He was pretty quiet on the way home, and I thought he was a bit of a jerk about the whole thing.

The next time we got together with these same friends, they goaded us into another arm wrestling competition, with, basically, the same results. My boyfriend was really fuming again, and he seemed to sulk for a couple of days. I realize that guys take their athletic abilities very seriously. My boyfriend, in fact, is larger, pretty athletic, and outweighs me by at least 35 pounds, but he seems unable to face the fact that I might be better at something than him. I’ll admit that I give him a hard time about it, but don’t you think he’s being a little immature? Should I purposely lose to him just to make things right?

— The Amazon Queen

Dear Amazon Queen,

Yes, it does sound like he’s taking this a bit too seriously. You are correct that most males are a little too concerned with their athletic prowess. But since things have been going well in this relationship for three years, you undoubtedly know about the give-and-take of a successful relationship. Undoubtedly, you value your relationship more than being the intramural arm wrestling champ. I would stop the arm-wrestling, because it’s a losing situation all around. Don’t let your friends push you into it anymore. While your boyfriend’s vanity may be foolish, it also seems pretty harmless.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am a 38-year-old gay man, but recently, I saw a bunch of photographs of the actress Angelina Jolie, and I must admit that I was turned on. Is there something wrong with me? I have never really been turned on by a woman before, but I found Angelina to be hot, hot, hot.

— A Little Worried

Dear Worried,

Don’t be concerned. Straight men and women have also been known to be attracted to members of the same sex, just as there are gay men and women who sometimes find members of the opposite sex attractive. Sexual orientation is something that we still know little about. According to the studies by Kinsey, though, it seems that people’s desires exist somewhere on a scale where, let’s say, one is entirely homosexual and 10 is entirely heterosexual. My (admittedly limited) understanding is that the vast majority of people are situated somewhere in the middle of this scale. From Dr. Lovemonkey’s perspective, it’s perfectly okay to be attracted to members of both sexes. I doubt you’re in serious jeopardy of "turning straight."

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