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Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I met Larry online about four months ago. We really get on great, and after getting to know each other on the Internet, we have gotten together at least 10 times in person. Once, when we were out together, Larry got really mad and sullen when I was talking to another guy for a few minutes. And recently, when we were online together, he suddenly started berating me and saying nasty things. I’m not exactly sure where this was coming from. Larry is great 90 percent of the time, and we have a lot of fun together, but there seems to be something wrong, and I don’t know what to do about it.

— Millie

Dear Millie,

Yes, there’s something wrong here — it’s called immaturity. He is too immature for you. if I were you, I would say, "Adios, amigo."

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am a 22-year-old woman, born in Illinois. I have lived in the United States my entire life. I am on the verge of getting engaged to a 25-year-old man from Pakistan. He came to the US to go to school, and we have been together for more than a year. There is one problem, however. He is quite insistent that we live with his family — not just his mother and father, but also his brother and the brother’s wife, and his younger sister. He says this is the way that his people live. This would also mean moving to Pakistan. We both want very much to marry and start a family, but I do not want to move to Pakistan.

He keeps telling me that his village is very safe, but Pakistan would seem to be a very unsafe place in general. Do you agree? I am putting my foot down on this, and it has become a standoff of sorts. Am I doing the wrong thing?

— Culturally Confused

Dear Culturally Confused,

While one could argue that there is no truly "safe place" in the world, Dr. Lovemonkey is of the opinion that Pakistan, at the moment, is one of the more dangerous places on earth, with heightened tensions and a great deal of social and political unrest.

A cross-cultural marriage is always difficult, but the extended family setup that your boyfriend insists upon is even more extreme for someone like yourself. I would stand my ground on this. He has experience in Western life, and it seems that he prefers life in his homeland. This could be disastrous for you if you are unwilling to embrace the whole culture without question. Hold off on the marriage until you come to a mutually satisfactory plan. You may not be able to do so, but neither of you should be forced by the other to live an unfulfilling and unhappy life.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I was watching television the other evening and thought I saw a promotional spot that made some sort of connection between the network reality show Fear Factor and the Miss USA competition. Was I dreaming, and, if not, what in the world do these two things have in common?

— What the ?

Dear What,

You were not dreaming. The program Fear Factor and the Miss USA show ran back-to-back this past Monday on NBC. That is the principal connection between the two programs. Apparently, the idea was to have some of the pageant contestants "compete" on Fear Factor as a lead-in to the Miss USA pageant.

There is one other connection that Dr. Lovemonkey would make between Fear Factor and the Miss USA show: both of these "reality" shows have absolutely nothing to do with reality for 98 percent of most humans.

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