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Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I have some comments about the letter from E. Hemingway in the May 14 issue. Ernie talks about wanting to travel and explore the world, while his girlfriend is more of a homebody. Your response revolves around the assumption that he is not ready for commitment, and essentially warns him off marriage. It seems to me that he’s concerned about committing to her, because he doesn’t want to sit on the couch for the rest of his life, but maybe it’s not the commitment that worries him. I was born with a severe case of wanderlust, so I chose a partner with the same condition. Marriage and "settling down" are too often considered to go hand in hand. My husband and I have traveled to, and lived in, many different countries and states, and we get very excited about each new adventure.

Obviously, a long talk is in order for this couple, but maybe this guy needs someone who more closely shares his interests (assuming that he and the gal have already talked, and she refuses to compromise or participate in the activities that interest him). The bottom line is that if you feel like your heart is pulling back, don’t do it. It won’t be fair to either person.

— M.D.

Dear M.D.,

Your thoughtful perspective is greatly appreciated. I do think, however, that it is quite rare and unusual for "wanderlust" types to meet and make that connection. I also believe quite strongly that many people need not marry.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been seeing a man who is a great person, but he bears an uncanny resemblance to Neil Diamond, circa 1978. Other people have commented on this, and it is really starting to bother me. It also troubles me that he seems to like the comparison, and is starting to wear the same sort of bad black clothes with mirror-like substances that Diamond used to display onstage. I have suggested a serious makeover, but he is resistant. What should I do?

— Maryanne

Dear Maryanne,

Ordinarily, I would suggest that you drive to a remote part of town, dig a very large ditch, kill him, and throw him in it. Before considering anything this rash, however, rent the movie Saving Silverman (or watch it on TV). It is a silly comedy with current hipster stars Jack Black, Amanda Peet, and Steve Zahn. There is also a cameo in which Neil Diamond appears in a somewhat self-deprecating celebration (a la Wayne Newton) of his own intrinsic lameness.

If this convinces you that Neil Diamond might be okay, it is unnecessary to demand that your sweetheart undergo extensive plastic surgery. However, if he continues to wear the faux Diamond stage duds, you might pursue the ditch option. When the authorities discover the body (and more importantly, the clothes), they will probably decide to drop the charges, because they will understand.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am a healthy 27-year-old hetero female and I can’t seem to find any guys who will talk about anything other than sports, music, and dumb pop culture stuff. I live in southern New England. Am I in the wrong part of the country or what? Where are the interesting males?

— Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

There may be something to the "wrong part of the country" angle. From April to September or October, an inordinate number of males (and females) in New England become gripped by a sinister plague known as "Red Sox Fever," making it difficult to communicate with them. On the other hand, Dr. Lovemonkey recently did a headcount at the local library, and before being tossed out of the building, found at least two dozen males only vaguely interested in sports and pop culture. So keep looking.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net.