E-Mail This Article to a Friend Mixed nuts

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am a 34-year-old divorced woman with no kids. I am happy with the divorce, but I have emotional scars from the aftermath. Subsequently, I met a guy through work and we started to spend time together. Within a month, I started to notice that he was driving me nuts at times. I know that I drive him nuts, too. I am not sure if he is doing this because he doesn’t care or since he is trying to help me work out things from my past. I like him. I have no clue what kind of future we have, but I still cannot let him go. I am just confused about how I feel about him, and I’m not sure what I should do.

— Starting Over

Dear Starting,

Dr. Lovemonkey needs a bit more information here. For instance, I need to have a better understanding of what you mean by "driving me nuts." Does this mean he is a bit overweening and pesters you to distraction, or is it something more? How do you drive him nuts?

With such incomplete information, I can only share a hunch that perhaps you are not yet ready to plunge into a relationship. It would be useful to know how long it has been since your divorce with your ex-husband, how long you were married, and what your previous relationships were like. If you write back with further information, I might be able to give you a more thoughtful analysis.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I could have sworn that I read something recently where US Representative Richard Gephardt claimed to be a big fan of Eminem. What’s that all about? The only way I could buy this is if Gephardt plans to run for president again and is pandering to potential young voters. Please tell me that I imagined this.

— B.S. from Newport

Dear B.S.,

I believe the article you are referring to (there may be others — Dr. Lovemonkey does not see everything) ran about a month ago in the New York Times Sunday Magazine. It was one of their regular Q&A features, conducted by Deborah Solomon. Gephardt sang the praises of his new iPod, describing how he was enjoying the rapper Nelly (a fellow Missourian) and Eminem’s latest CD. The congressman said he listened to it all the time and is a big fan of Eminem.

While it seems incongruous that an older Midwestern white man with invisible eyebrows would be grooving to Eminem, Dr. Lovemonkey, for one, does not believe this is evidence that Gephardt is contemplating another run for the White House. More likely, this shows how Gephardt is not the dork he has been portraying for the past 30 years. Now that he is stepping out of the limelight, he is busting free to be himself.

Dr. Lovemonkey believes that many of those who run for elective office are reluctant to reveal too much of their real personalities for fear of being rejected at the polls. Therefore, don’t be surprised when, say, Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania retires from the Senate and becomes president of the Scranton Hell’s Angels, or Orrin Hatch of Utah takes to wearing gold chains and starts a second career as a principal dancer with Les Ballets Trockadero de Monte Carlo.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net