E-Mail This Article to a Friend Balled out

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend goes to see Red Sox games about a dozen times a year with his pals. Generally, they drink a lot of beer and whoop it up. I’ve subtly hinted that I’d like to go some night as well, but my boyfriend always laughs it off as if I’m not serious. I may not be the world’s biggest baseball fan, but I do know the game, and it’s not like I’m trying to keep an eye on him or anything. It seems to be his firm belief that ballgames are just for the guys. What can I do to make him take me more seriously?

Feeling Left Out

Dear Feeling,

I know many women who are really into sports. Undoubtedly, your thoughtless boyfriend has noticed that quite a few women enjoy the games as much as the men. He’s trying to keep this "boys only," and that is unfair. When he’s next on the way over, arrange to have a fungo bat and Whiffle balls handy. As soon as he walks in the door start hitting them in his general direction.

MOVING SPIRIT

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

This may seem a minor matter of etiquette, but I would really like some help. We have a company lunchroom. There are three people who eat together every day, and sometimes I end up at the table with them. They engage in prayer before they eat. I’m not sure exactly what to do when this happens.

Non-Denominational

Dear Non-denominational,

You’ve got a couple of options, depending on which outcome you’d like. If you want to keep a pleasant relationship with your co-workers, just bow your head ever so slightly in silence as they pray. If, however, this really annoys you and you don’t mind having a negative relationship, sit down and loudly proclaim, "Hey, I’ll take this one!" and go on to spout some amazing quasi-King James gibberish (see Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life for an excellent example: "Oh Lord, thou art so verrrry huge"). They’ll go out of their way to make sure they never sit with you again.

AURAL CONTACT

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m in love with a disc jockey that I’ve been listening to on the radio for years. We’ve never met, but you find out so much about someone just by hearing his voice every evening. I’ve called the station many times and we’ve talked, but I’ve not made my move yet. I am a little concerned that I’ll be rejected, but I’m about ready to ask if we can meet. I know by all the things I’ve heard from him over the years that this can work out. Where would you suggest that we meet — a club, a coffee shop, or my place?

P.S.

Dear P.S.,

Hey, if you’re going for the fantasy, why settle for a mere disc jockey? Start making your move on George Clooney or Johnny Depp. Sure, Johnny Depp already has a family in France, but don’t let that dissuade you. These guys make much more money than your basic disc jockey, and you might live in luxury for the rest of your days.

Honestly, you don’t want to be a stalker. Maybe you could go to one of the radio station’s promotional events and meet the object of your affection in person, rather than suggesting you hook up, sight unseen. What you are experiencing is not really equivalent to, say, connecting over the Internet, because it has only gone in one direction. You have a sense of him, but he doesn’t know you at all. Try to meet him and give him an opportunity to know you a little.