E-Mail This Article to a Friend ALTERNATIVES TO " YANKEES SUCK " Five new chants to use at Fenway this weekend

We can do better.

For years, Red Sox fans have used a simple-yet-effective chant to fight the evil empire.

It served the Fenway faithful well. But after the events of last October, there is one problem: "Yankees suck" is now actually starting to ring true.

Doesn’t matter if the Bombers are on a hot streak. Listen to New York’s WFAN, and fans are slitting their throats as they contemplate the team’s giant payroll and raped-and-pillaged farm system.

The standing ovation Mariano Rivera gets when he comes out of the bullpen is on the right track, and "Ster-oids," "Gay-rod," and "Jeter eats corn the long way" are welcome diversions from the classic. But here are five others you may want to deploy this weekend:

"Just three All-Stars"

The Yankees sent eight players last year. The last time they sent fewer than four men to the midsummer classic was in 1996 (and one of those guys was Wade Boggs.)

"Su-zyn Wald-man ... does the bullpen"

Aimed at Yankees radio broadcaster and notorious homer Waldman.

"You’ve got no fu-ture"

The Yankees gave away virtually every blue-chip prospect (hello, Nick Johnson) for their gaggle of zillionaires. This, above all else, is why fans are freaking out.

"We have Cle-ment/You got Pavano"

Aimed at Yankees GM Brian Cashman, who thought he came out on top.

"We’re your dad-dies"

The Bomber fans continue to use the "daddy" theme to taunt Pedro in New York. No reason not to shove it back in their faces.

Think you can do better? Go to BostonPhoenix.com and submit your best razz.

Click here to submit your own chants.