E-Mail This Article to a Friend Party favors Some un-Conventional items to get you in a Convention-al mood BY BRIAN E. O’NEILL

We’re coming, you’re going, and don’t let the door hit you on the way out." That may be one of John Kerry’s favorite rallying cries on the campaign trail, but it might as well also be the official slogan of the Democratic National Convention when it hits Boston later this month. That’s because, while Dems from outside the Hub will show their patriotism by tuning in to extended television coverage, we Bostonians will show ours by putting up with knuckle-whitening traffic, steel-trap security, forced vacation time, and generally being pushed out of our own city.

Face it, you’re not getting anywhere near the FleetCenter during those four days, so you’ll have to show your party support the old-fashioned way: with merchandise. And as any good politician will tell you, in your search for merch, you have two basic choices.

Option A: Play nice

Why sling mud when you can take the moral high ground? Kerry supporters have choices galore on kerrygear.com, the merchandising arm of the Kerry for President campaign. Log on and get yourself an official Kerry in 2004 bumper sticker ($2, plus shipping). The extra time you’re gridlocked on I-95 will be well spent, knowing that the poor wretch behind you is your captive audience. There’s also a variety of buttons for $3, plus shipping. Or, for a sampling of campaign wares (great for local meetings, the site proclaims), you have your choice of six packages ($30–$1850).

For those who just want to show some good old American spirit without party affiliation, options abound. Sears serves up some decent general fare, like the ladies’ pink ringer T-shirt from Jerry Leigh Entertainment Apparel ($12), emblazoned with a retro-glitter iron-on decal proclaiming AMERICA ROCKS. And for the fellas, a hefty T-shirt from Gildan Activewear says USA in red, white, and blue lettering ($4.98).

Option B: Fight dirty

If, on the other hand, you’re not averse to slinging a bit of mud, there are plenty of ways you can give ol’ Dubya a little troubleya. You could, for example, adorn your bookshelves with tomes inspired by your political leanings, and pick up some practical tips while you’re at it. Head on over to Barnes & Noble to pick up a copy of 50 Ways You Can Show George the Door in 2004 (Westview Press, 2004; $9.95), by Ben Cohen (yes, that Ben Cohen, of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream fame) and Jason Salzman. Filled with "Bushisms" and links to activist Web sites, this book by the former ice-cream king aims to put Bush on a, um, rocky road.

If you’re looking to take more visceral action, why don’t you give the president a punch in the nose? Newbury Comics sells Battling Bush ($14.99), a 46-inch-tall inflatable punching-bag likeness of George W., complete with squeaking boxing gloves and boxer shorts. For added fun, let George senior nod in approval: Newbury Comics also sells a George H.W. Bush bobble-head doll ($9.99).

Where to find it:

• Barnes &Noble, various locations; www.bn.com

• KerryGear, www.kerrygear.com

• Newbury Comics, various locations; www.newburycomics.com

• Sears, various locations; www.sears.com