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Out There Archives


Emasculation in a jiffy
Nothing makes me feel less like a man than going for an oil change
By Alan Olifson
from June 10, 2005


Both sides now
Think itís hard dating someone with kids? Try being one of the kids.
By Kris Frieswick
from June 3, 2005


Nature's song
For me, nothing says summer like outdoor music festivals
By Alan Olifson
from May 27, 2005


A real trooper
You really want to support the military? Hereís the ultimate plan.
By Steve Almond
from May 20, 2005


Today's date
Courting used to be a much more enjoyable affair than the version I had to endure
By Alan Olifson
from May 13, 2005


A family affair
How to survive the annual return home without (technically) murdering any of your relatives
By Steve Almond
from May 6, 2005


Southern exposure
Why I donít exactly wish I were in Dixie (though sometimes I have to travel there for business)
By Steve Almond
from April 29, 2005


Periodical insanity
On falling victim to the ubiquitous magazine-subscription card
By Alan Olifson
from April 22, 2005


Courting derision
Contrary to popular belief, squash is actually the most macho game ever invented
By Steve Almond
from April 15, 2005


The horror
The latest spate of awful scary movies has left me trapped in a Sisyphean cycle of excitement and disappointment
By Alan Olifson
from April 8, 2005


Plastic makes perfect?
Even the emergence of the vagina as pop-culture phenomenon did not prepare me for the vaginoplasty
By Sarah Green
from April 1, 2005


Get back
A trip to Vegas proves that the best destination of all is behind the scenes
By Alan Olifson
from March 25, 2005


Hot wheels
Pass me the steel to-go cup ó I drive a Subaru now
By Caitlin Shetterly
from March 18, 2005


AC/DC straight, no chaser
Appreciating the raw purity of rock and roll, when an album was just an album
By Alan Olifson
from March 11, 2005


Cash cowed
You know the Republican Party is serious about reaching out when it starts asking pinkos for money
By Steve Almond
from March 4, 2005


I'm not with the band
I donít want to be a rock star; I just want to play my drums. If only I could find a group with similar dreams of mediocrity.
By Alan Olifson
from February 25, 2005


One angry man
How to get dismissed from jury duty without really trying
By Steve Almond
from February 18, 2005


Exercising my rights
Who says I actually have to use my home-gym equipment?
By Alan Olifson
from February 11, 2005


Mother lode
Iíve been through the wedding wave before, but this time is different. Very different.
By Kris Frieswick
from February 4, 2005


Slippery slope
With skiing, I was finally good at a sport. Now Iím suddenly passť.
By Alan Olifson
from January 28, 2005


True colors
A quick and easy way to resolve Americaís culture war
By Steve Almond
from January 21, 2005


Poker face
Iíve been dedicated to the latest card craze my whole life. Too bad Iím not any good.
By Alan Olifson
from January 14, 2005


Country club
Why are even some of the toughest city dwellers scared off by a stand of evergreens?
By Rebecca Wieder
from January 7, 2005


To a T
When did T-shirts go from a celebration of individuality to just another ironic wink at the world?
By Alan Olifson
from December 31, 2004


Party hardly
One manís memory of a New Yearís from hell lingers like a 17-year hangover
By Steve Almond
from December 24, 2004


Oh, baby
On the very faint ticking of one manís biological clock
By Alan Olifson
from December 17, 2004


Channeling profits
The whole not-for-profit literary gig got you down? Donít bother pitching your manuscript. Pitch TV shows!
By Steve Almond
from December 10, 2004


Eve of destruction
At a certain point, doing Jšger shots at 3:30 a.m. on New Yearís isnít Ďgoing strong,í itís Ďa cry for helpí
By Alan Olifson
from December 3, 2004


When I was bling
In which the author discovers the unbridled joy of spending other peopleís money
By Steve Almond
from November 26, 2004


Dream on
If only my subconscious were trying to tell me something important
By Alan Olifson
from November 19, 2004


Here she is, Miss ... Erika?
How did my geeky childhood partner in crime wind up in the Miss America pageant?
By Lauren Keane
from November 12, 2004


A time to heal
In which the author issues a few heartfelt political apologies
By Steve Almond
from November 5, 2004


Waiting to inhale
As much as I love my now-smoke-free life, I canít help but feel a twinge of longing when I make my way past smokersí alley
By Alan Olifson
from October 29, 2004


Dope on a rope
Teaching an old man an old trick
By George Grattan
from October 22, 2004


Pocket of babble
Constant electronic access makes it possible to be unwholesome and boring 24/7
By Alan Olifson
from October 15, 2004


Stomach ache
How did showing off your tummy roll become a fashion statement?
By Kris Frieswick
from October 8, 2004


Awe, shucks
Stepping out of the trappings of Stealth Jew and into a yarmulke for a few days
By Alan Olifson
from October 1, 2004


The joy of fear
Or: So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, Dubai
By Chris Wright
from September 24, 2004


Swearing loyalty
When it comes to old college buddies, unconditional love sometimes can sound a lot like ĎTry not to wet yourselves, assholesí
By Alan Olifson
from September 17, 2004


Alert overload
Remember when amber was just a stone?
By Kris Frieswick
from September 10, 2004


Let the Games be gone
My grip on self-worth is tenuous enough without the Olympics rubbing 16-year-old gymnasts in my face
By Alan Olifson
from September 3, 2004


Through a blog darkly
Reviews of blogs by people I know who donít know I know about their blogs
By Joe Lavin
from August 27, 2004


Off the market
Iíve got one year left in the coveted 18-to-34-year-old demographic. What happens then?
By Alan Olifson
from August 20, 2004


A Kris by any other name
When it came to getting married, the hardest decision was what to call myself after the big day
By Kris Frieswick
from August 13, 2004


Out of sight
Finally, failing vision allows me to make a spectacle of myself
By Alan Olifson
from August 6, 2004


The parent crap
The fine art of alienating potential in-laws
By Chris Wright
from July 30, 2004


It's only natural
On camping, bacon, and making peace with Mother Nature
By Alan Olifson
from July 23, 2004


Walk this way
Through snow, sleet, and summer heat, I've learned my city one step at a time
By Kris Frieswick
from July 16, 2004


Memo to God
A few suggestions for nipping and tucking the universe
By Chris Wright
from July 9, 2004


Hair today, gone tomorrow
As my bald spot grows, the stages of grief set in
By Alan Olifson
from July 2, 2004


Hasn't been Hallmarked
How do you wish someone a happy anniversary when the anniversary is yours and his, but youíre not a couple?
By George Grattan
from June 25, 2004


Music to my years
Life would be so much easier if only I had my own soundtrack
By Kris Frieswick
from June 18, 2004


I don't
Sure, gay marriage is legal now. That doesnít mean Iíll be walking down the aisle anytime soon.
By David Valdes Greenwood
from June 11, 2004


Park it
Think youíve grown up? See how you handle rides, wonder, and snot at the Happiest Place on Earth.
By Alan Olifson
from June 4, 2004


Word imperfect
The perils of maximizing your communicational dollar
By Chris Wright
from May 28, 2004


My pro forma life
Big corporations arenít the only ones who can manipulate the numbers
By Kris Frieswick
from May 21, 2004


Bloom service
Somehow I never expected to wind up a Holiday Helper at a nationwide florist network
By Alan Olifson
from May 7, 2004


Cupid's bullet
Is it okay to cram six years of marriage into a single month?
By Chris Wright
from April 30, 2004


Dogged pursuits
Forget that chocolate Lab. Everything I know, I learned from a basset hound.
By Alan Olifson
from April 23, 2004


I'm crushed
The Boys of Summer are back. Time to pick this seasonís favorite.
By Kris Frieswick
from April 16, 2004


Fill in the blank
On trying to settle down ó without settling
By Chris Railey
from April 9, 2004


Funny business
What makes a joke tick?
By Chris Wright
from April 2, 2004


Periodic table
The important things we learn from our elders
By Alan Olifson
from March 26, 2004


Winging it
He may take one for the team, but is the wingman really a dream?
By Kris Frieswick
from March 19, 2004


I, possum
What humans can learn from ugly animals
By Chris Wright
from March 12, 2004


Sporting life
How one hung-over day on the couch changed a lifetime of athletic apathy
By Alan Olifson
from March 5, 2004


Totaled recall
The hidden benefits of absent-mindedness
By Chris Wright
from February 27, 2004


Pressing play
On learning to do nothing, just for the fun of it
By Kris Frieswick
from February 20, 2004


Love at first bite
If chocolate be the food of love, eat on ó especially on Valentineís Day
By Steve Almond
from February 13, 2004


Money for nothing?
When it came to cash, I used to be an idealist. Then that student-loan check arrived.
By Rebecca Wieder
from February 6, 2004


Homing in
One of these days, Iím going to have to grow up and buy property
By Alan Olifson
from January 30, 2004


Dog days
Want to adopt a puppy? Not so fast.
By David Valdes Greenwood
from January 16, 2004


Falling awake
From the royal toilet to dirty socks: Insomnia takes a turn for the worse
By Chris Wright
from January 9, 2004


Junk verbiage
Celebrate the new year by putting some dead language out to pasture
By Steve Almond
from January 2, 2004


Clear and present danger
Some people donít just look a gift horse in the mouth, they perform dental surgery
By Kris Frieswick
from December 26, 2003


Making the cut
Little did I know what my nephewís bris-day honor would entail
By Alan Olifson
from December 19, 2003


Breaking up with Britney
Itís official: My relationship with the Divine Ms. S is over
By Steve Almond
from December 12, 2003


Tune in, turn on, shut up
Maybe the secret of successful dating is knowing when to zip it
By Chris Wright
from December 5, 2003


Diary of an Łber-wife
My first lesson of marriage: Set reasonable expectations
By Kris Frieswick
from November 28, 2003


Playing God
Ever wonder about the meaning of life? Or where lint goes? Read on.
By Steve Almond
from November 21, 2003


Corrections
If only lifeís mistakes could be fixed with a note on page two
By Chris Wright
from November 14, 2003


Carried away
Marriage means never having to say youíre sorry for dropping your wife before you reach the finish line
By Steve Almond
from November 7, 2003


Playing the numbers
Believe the 40s are the best decade of your life if it helps you sleep at night
By Kris Frieswick
from October 31, 2003


Equal riots amendment
Why bottle throwing and car flipping should not be a privilege of the few
By Chris Wright
from October 24, 2003


Up in smoke
Why marijuana users are unlikely to lead the next, uh, political revolution
By Steve Almond
from October 17, 2003


On the job
Despite all my Mister Rogers aversions, itís official: Iíve been uniformed
By Rebecca Wieder
from October 10, 2003


About face
If Iíd only known sooner what I look like when Iím dancing
By Kris Frieswick
from October 3, 2003


For a song
When bad karaoke happens to good people
By Steve Almond
from September 26, 2003


Home truths
Why England isnít all itís cracked up to be
By Chris Wright
from September 19, 2003


California dreaming
How to win the governorship of the nationís most populous state without really trying
By Steve Almond
from September 12, 2003


Map it!
How can you know where youíre going unless you know where you are?
By Kris Frieswick
from September 5, 2003


Words to the wise
Mastering the art of dialogue
By Chris Wright
from August 29, 2003


Forward thinking
Apparently, gullible isnít in the cyber-dictionary
By David Valdes Greenwood
from August 22, 2003


Keeping tabs
Why I treasure trash
By Chris Wright
from August 15, 2003


Want a job with that?
The real cause of todayís record unemployment
by Kris Frieswick
from August 8, 2003


Welcome to the real world
Not everything is possible, despite what The Matrix and infomercials tell us
by Rebecca Wieder
from August 1, 2003


Call someone who cares
Theyíre not phone solicitors ó theyíre good friends who just happen to have a great opportunity for me!
by Steve Almond
from July 25, 2003


Look at me
Being married might signal the end of romantic pursuits, but does it have to mean the end of flirting?
by David Valdes Greenwood
from July 18, 2003


A river runs through it
A man. A woman. A canoe. A fight.
by Kris Frieswick
from July 11, 2003


Cock Talk
How I became a Dick Lit author without even trying
by Steve Almond
from July 04, 2003


Psyched out
Who knew that a little cheap soothsaying would turn out to be so costly?
by Alan Olifson
from June 27, 2003


Yucking it up
You like it. I donít. Now what?
by Rebecca Wieder
from June 20, 2003


Call me dated
On the eve of my wedding, hereís what I can tell you about playing the field
by Kris Frieswick
from June 13, 2003


My spam, myself
Is whatís been landing in my inbox lately a reflection of who I am?
by David Valdes Greenwood
from June 6, 2003


Board meetings
My online social life has everything I could wish for
by Chris Wright
from May 30, 2003


Bomb la France
With Iraq defeated, the allies need to find a more suitable target. Did someone say bonjour?
by Steve Almond
from May 23, 2003


Householder etiquette
Householder etiquette
by Kris Freiswick
from May 16, 2003


Inner divide
Despite its allure, it just ainít easy being bi
by Jay Jaroch
from May 9, 2003


Love letters
Iíve always sworn to keep my romantic life out of my writing. Now if only I could keep writing out of my romantic life.
by Rebecca Wieder
from May 2, 2003


Writing sex
In which the author offers 10 guiding principles to the would-be pornographers among you
by Steve Almond
from April 25, 2003


Manic panic
Did I have more energy when I was single, or was I just afraid of missing something?
by Kris Freiswick
from April 17, 2003


Rock íní rolled
One night of karaoke, and Iím suddenly on the injured list
by Alan Olafson
from April 10, 2003


Running to stand still?
If Iím trying to simplify my life, why am I making things so complicated?
by Chris Berdik
from April 3, 2003


Running to stand still?
If Iím trying to simplify my life, why am I making things so complicated?
by Rebecca Wieder
from March 27, 2003


In memory
I've had a great life, I think
by Kris Frieswick
from March 20, 2003


Fear itself
Be it at the hands of a homicidal maniac or by a misadventure with a stick of gum, every day, I die
by Chris Wright
from March 13, 2003


Wholly matrimony?
More and more often, the words ĎI doí are the beginning of something that wonít last till death do they part: The starter marriage
by Kirsten Marcum
from March 6, 2003


Kids aren't us
You think you want children, donít you? Thatís because you havenít really spent any time with them.
by Steve Almond
from February 27, 2003


Viva Las Booty
It took the City of Sin to show me the beauty of curves
by Kris Frieswick
from February 20, 2003


Duty calls
A day in life's ultimate wating room
by Rebecca Wieder
from February 13, 2003


Cold snapped
Are you someone who runs outside when it starts to snow? Who loves to bundle up? Thereís a name for you people: Snowhole.
by Steve Almond
from February 6, 2003


Dress for egress
Fashion and etiquette tips for the indicted
by Kris Frieswick
from January 30, 2003


Spared change?
Despite how it seems, moving away from my hometown hasnít stopped time
by Rebecca Wieder
from January 23, 2003


E-commie
If the feds start reading my e-mail, alerts may fly
by David Valdes Greenwood
from January 16, 2003


Notes from a former anti-bride
Be careful what you donít wish for
by Kris Frieswick
from January 9, 2003


Age inappropriate
Maybe eternal youth isnít all itís cracked up to be.
by Chris Wright
from January 2, 2003


Say you want a resolution?
Well, you know, we all want to change our world. Except me.
by Steve Almond
from December 26, 2002


Only a dream
Should you apologize for something you did in a nightmare?
by Kris Frieswick
from December 19, 2002


A few good men
These days, Ďmalenessí is all the rage. On television, that is.
by Jay Jaroch
from December 12, 2002


Getting personal
Looking to meet someone? That ad is probably not going to help.
by Tamara Wieder
from December 5, 2002


Call it sleep
Sometimes the simplest addictions are the hardest to kick
by Kris Frieswick
from November 28, 2002


Car talk
Welcome to traffic school, where youíll learn how to diagnose your own brain damage
by Steve Almond
from November 21, 2002


Slammed
Logical or not, the opportunity to find out what others think of us is a temptation thatís hard to resist
by Rebecca Wieder
from November 14, 2002


Gotta have faith?
When science explains, the believers dig in
by Kris Frieswick
from November 7, 2002


Sad campaign
Are we voting for governor or Cutest Couple?
by Jay Jaroch
from October 24, 2002


Trick or freak?
The game plan. The race. The haul. The consumption. In the good old days of Halloween, it was all in a nightís work.
by Steve Almond
from October 24, 2002


My left hand
When appendages take over
by Kris Freiswick
from October 17, 2002


Donít ask, donít tell
I admit it: I own two televisions. You probably donít own any. And I donít want to hear about it.
by Tamara Wieder
from October 10, 2002


Pension for stupidity
What happens when a dork like me tries to make sense of my 401(k) quarterly statement?
by Steve Almond
from October 3, 2002


The plunge
When standing still is no longer an option
by Kris Frieswick
from September 26, 2002


Soy bomb
Notes from an unrepentant carnivore gone organic
by Jay Jaroch
from September 19, 2002


Change of fools
My two cents? Itís time to retire the penny. And while youíre at it, you might want to reconsider the nickel.
by Steve Almond
from September 12, 2002


Oh, baby
How to preserve a friendship with someone whoís spawned an ugly child
by Kris Frieswick
from September 5, 2002


2002: A cell-phone odyssey
Weíre intoxicated by new inventions. But sometimes progress can be problematic.
by Rebecca Wieder
from August 29, 2002


The view from on high
Fulfilling a childhood fantasy in the cab of a locomotive
by Ted Drozdowski
from August 22, 2002


Taking stock
Uncovering the real drivers of the marketís rise and fall
by Kris Frieswick
from August 15, 2002


Short subject
As if my 20s werenít hard enough, now Iím shrinking
by Chris Berdik
from August 8, 2002


Mapping my jeans
Notes from a life in denim
by Ron Fletcher
from August 1, 2002


Gimme space
Why sewing rooms and workshops werenít such a bad idea
by Kris Frieswick
from July 25, 2002


Counting sleep
Staying up late in search of what Iíve missed
by Rebecca Wieder
from July 18, 2002


Dating geeks for dummies
Iíve suddenly realized that compared to my girlfriend, I no longer seem quite so geeky
by Joe Lavin
from July 11, 2002


Tracks of my tears
The battle of the sexes stops just shy of the tissue box
by Kris Frieswick
from July 4, 2002


On the job
Beware who you ask for help with finding summer employment
by Camille Dodero
from June 27, 2002


The lost world
When my stuff disappears, couldnít it at least send a postcard?
by Rebecca Wieder
from June 20, 2002


Defusing the F-bomb
When the foul-mouthed are forced to swallow their words, can anything but indigestion result?
by Kris Frieswick
from June 13, 2002


The only way up is down
When it comes to writing a memoir, the worse things get, the better they are
by Chris Wright
from June 6, 2002


Suddenly laptop
A full-blown Romantic finally succumbs to the wiles of computer composition
by David Valdes Greenwood
from May 30, 2002


Invasion of the boyfriends
Be careful what you wish for
by Kris Frieswick
from May 23, 2002


Fame and misfortune
On pirates, People, and a Celebrity Dog
by Rebecca Wieder
from May 16, 2002


About the Boy
Heís stupid, noisy, skittish, and messy, but I wince at the thought of losing my new friend
by Chris Wright
from May 9, 2002


Whoís afraid of ghosts?
The body may age and wrinkle, but the teenager in us never dies
by Kris Frieswick
from May 2, 2002


Plastic makes perfect
An easy answer to your credit-card woes: Do nothing
by Melissa Houston
from April 25, 2002


Love thy neighbor?
Adventures in city living
by Rebecca Wieder
from April 18, 2002


Blowing smoke
When a kidís whining trumps civil rights, can Armageddon be far behind?
by Kris Frieswick
from April 11, 2002


Shock, therapy
We werenít prepared for the seven-year itch. And we werenít prepared for what it would take to fix it.
by David Valdes Greenwood
from April 4, 2002


Fear factors
The more time I spent looking at a list of phobias, the more things I found to be afraid of
by Chris Berdick
from March 28, 2002


Drive, she said
Before you get him into the sack, get him behind the wheel
by Kris Frieswick
from March 21, 2002


Literary labors lost
On being a freelance writer over 40 in a retracting economy
by Ken Capobianco
from March 14, 2002


Last dance
A bachelor contemplates the lure of the couple
by Ron Fletcher
from March 7, 2002


A beautiful bind
New cures offer hope of fixing what ails us. But why do some treat them like an insult?
by Kris Frieswick
from February 28, 2002


Taking license
Thoughts on the emotional task of changing my driverís license
by Dorie Clark
from February 21, 2002


Life in the Google age
Search and ye shall receive
by David Valdes Greenwood
from February 14, 2002


Clear and present danger
Tips for navigating the Valentineís Day gift minefield
by Kris Frieswick
from February 7, 2002


Mommy (and daddy) dearest?
Living with (or without) your partnerís parents
by Charyn Pfeuffer
from February 1, 2002


Ron-o-matic!
My forbidden, savage love for Ron Popeil
by Kris Frieswick
from January 25, 2002


Homeboy
Hundreds of condo open houses later, one thing is clear: Theyíre all ridiculously overpriced
by Joe Lavin
from January 18, 2002


Bumper crop
Advertisements are everywhere. Do we really need them stuck to our cars, too?
by Noah Bruce
from January 11, 2002


Think thin
Selected tactics for surviving the post-holiday poundage
by Kris Frieswick
from January 4, 2002


Bench marks
Even if youíre not a criminal, going to court can be a trial
by Chris Wright
from December 28, 2001


The business of strangers
Could I have done anything to help Shannon Sharpe?
by Tamara Wieder
from December 21, 2001


A little dated
If multi-dating is the way itís supposed to be, why do I feel so guilty?
by Kris Frieswick
from December 14, 2001


This land is your land
Living ó and learning ó as an American abroad
by Christie Taylor
from December 7, 2001


Enduring idle
Living in the shadow of John Cusack, Everyman
by Ron Fletcher
from November 30, 2001


Hardly knew ye
Just when you think you know someone, you donít.
by Kris Frieswick
from November 23, 2001


Sounds of silence
Confessions of a mute protester
by Rebecca Wieder
from November 16, 2001


Touched by something
Some people find solace in Touched by an Angel. I find porn.
by Christopher Harris
from November 9, 2001


Quiet hours
Learning to live without TV
by Kris Frieswick
from November 2, 2001


I think Iím paranoid
When vigilance becomes entrapment
by Camille Dodero
from October 26, 2001


There goes the bride
I donít have to get married to symbolize my commitment to a relationship
by Charyn Pfeuffer
from October 19, 2001


Sea to shining sea
Seeing this great land of ours ó the hard way
by Kris Frieswick
from October 12, 2001


With friends like these
When your bosom buddies make more money than you do, a night on the town can be a traumatic affair
by Charyn Pfeuffer
from September 14, 2001


Showers predicted
Why should pregnant women and engaged couples have all the fun?
by Kris Frieswick
from September 7, 2001


Of spines and spinelessness
Behind the scenes at the library book sale
by Ron Fletcher
from August 31, 2001


Slacking off
Inside the mind of a pants-loser
by Nina Willdorf
from August 24, 2001


The poop
Confessions of an urban dog-walker
by Christopher Harris
from August 17, 2001


Call me
When the phone doesnít ring, youíll know itís him
by Kris Frieswick
from August 10, 2001


Separate ways
Divorce, love, loneliness, and the benefits of a roll in the hay
by Chris Wright
from August 3, 2001


Daly double
Getting a haircut like MTVís Carson Daly changed my life ó whether for better or worse remains to be seen
by Andrew Weiner
from July 26, 2001


Lunatic fringe
Sure, actions have consequences ó but no one knows what all the consequences might be
by Kris Frieswick
from July 19, 2001


High infidelity
As a former president might have said, it all depends on what your definition of Ďcheatingí is
by Charyn Pfeuffer
from July 12, 2001


Mixed emotions
Revisiting youth as captured on cassette
by Ron Fletcher
from July 5, 2001


The purge
The emotional trauma of cleaning out the closet
by Kris Frieswick
from July 5, 2001


Food fright
Why some things just shouldnít be eaten
by Chris Wright
from June 21, 2001


Speed limit
Getting the caffeine monkey off your back
by Sam Walters
from June 14, 2001


Countdown
Playing the numbers game
by Kris Frieswick
from June 7, 2001


Unpretty in pink
Though fashion and music trends would have it otherwise, Iím not going back to the í80s
by Charyn Pfeuffer
from May 31, 2001


Distance is relative
My second cousin is on TV! And she has no idea that Iím alive.
by Camille Dodero
from May 24, 2001


Boyfriend Roadshow
Whatís your man really worth?
by Kris Frieswick
from May 17, 2001


Road kill
For all their Ďbad driving,í Massholes actually have a plan and an objective
by Nina Willdorf
from May 10, 2001


Mixed emotions
Revisiting youth as captured on cassette
by Ron Fletcher
from May 3, 2001


Note to self
The less we change, the more we stay the same
by Kris Frieswick
from April 26, 2001


Work it, girl
I wanted to be a writer. If only Iíd known about all the jobs Iíd have to take along the way....
by Sara Houghteling
from April 19, 2001


Hipsterphobia
Why is his hair so much more perfect than mine will ever be? And why do I care?
by Dan Tobin
from April 12, 2001


Counter intelligence
Learning to embrace the moron within
by Kris Frieswick
from April 5, 2001


Donít cry for me, Dolly Parton
A womanís love-hate relationship with her large breasts
by Charyn Pfeuffer
from March 29, 2001


Whiner
Whatís in a name? You donít want to know.
by Andrew Weiner
from March 22, 2001


Lying down
Why Iíd be a terrible spy
by Kris Frieswick
from March 15, 2001


Counter intelligence
Learning to embrace the moron within
by Chris Wright
from March 8, 2001


Burp and be free
Itís not crude; itís a blow against puritanical repression
by Kris Frieswick
from March 1, 2001


Into the wild
Observing the natives in their natural habitat
by Kris Frieswick
from February 15, 2001


Sorry state
The magical power of apology
by Kris Frieswick
from February 1, 2001


Hip to be dull
Break out the cribbage boards and fondue sets
by Kris Frieswick
from January 19, 2001


No great shakes
What happens when two hands collide?
by Scott Kathan
from January 12, 2001


Too close to call
And you thought the presidential race was a nail-biter
by Kris Frieswick
from January 5, 2001


Working it
Giving the office your personal best
by Nina Willdorf
from December 29, 2000


I, Prudius
In which our protagonist realizes she ain't seen nothin'
by Kris Frieswick
from December 22, 2000


Tree of shame
Oh, the guilt of coveting the festive conifer
by David Valdes Greenwood
from December 15, 2000


Rear Window redux
It's just like The Real World, but without the stupid conversations
by Kris Frieswick
from December 8, 2000


Obscenity laws
The proper use of improper language
by Chris Wright
from December 1, 2000


Home empty home
Reality-based home renovations for the busy single professional
by Kris Frieswick
from November 24, 2000


Thumbs down
Urban hitchhiking: an idea ahead of its time
by Andrew Weiner
from November 17, 2000


Thanks 2000
E-mail breeds familiarity breeds contempt
by Kris Frieswick
from November 10, 2000


Nice guys finish vaguely
by Nina Willdorf
from November 3, 2000


The vicious circle
You love him, he loves her, she loves . . . etc.
by Kris Frieswick
from October 27, 2000


Fantasy bites
Coming to terms with the best of all possible worlds
by Chris Wright
from October 20, 2000


Return of the TFBs
Quick -- unleash the hounds
by Kris Frieswick
from October 13, 2000


Femme-inism
On bringing home the bacon, frying it up in a pan, and topping it with a nice demi-glaze
by Nina Willdorf
from October 6, 2000


Junk man
Portrait of the author as a pile of third-class mail
by Stephen Heuser
from September 29, 2000


Dating for gold
In some Olympic events, carrying the torch is a bad thing
by Kris Frieswick
from September 22, 2000


Heart of Palm
Come, join us, and know the power of the Palm Way
by Kris Frieswick
from September 15, 2000


The power of denial
Whatever happened to the happy hangover?
by Chris Wright
from September 8, 2000


The power of denial
It's the hottest new coping mechanism -- order yours today!
by Kris Frieswick
from September 1, 2000


Hey, baby, live here often?
The 'mating game
by Nina Willdorf
from August 25, 2000


The boss of me
Why do we all turn into 15-year-olds around our parents?
by Kris Frieswick
from August 18, 2000


The alone ranger
Does being by yourself make you a loser?
by Kris Frieswick
from August 11, 2000


Le wow
If France is so great, why don't they have a word for `kick ass'?
by Kris Frieswick
from August 4, 2000


Just swell
The injury that dare not speak its name
by Chris Wright
from July 28, 2000


Really mad libs
Breaking up is hard. But it's easier with a template.
by Kris Frieswick
from July 21, 2000


Buzz me
Who says drinking and dialing don't mix?
by Michelle Chihara
from July 14, 2000


Real-life Survivor
Some game shows I'd really like to see
by Kris Frieswick
from July 7, 2000


Gibe talking
Am I an evil person, or do I say the wrong things for the right reasons?
by Chris Wright
from June 30, 2000


The saunterers
I'll take rush-hour traffic over pedestrians any day
by Kris Frieswick
from June 23, 2000


Critical mess
The fine art of pulling disorder from chaos
by Todd Pitock
from June 16, 2000


Small beer
Why alcohol and kids should mix
by Kris Frieswick
from June 9, 2000


High-pro gloat
There's only one thing to say about the protein-diet fad: Pass the bread!
by Gloria Fallon
from June 2, 2000


Cereal lust
Not just for breakfast anymore
by Kris Frieswick
from May 26, 2000


Shopping dropout
Life without the shopping gene
by Kris Frieswick
from May 19, 2000


Farewell, 90210
My life with Brandon, Dylan, and the gang
by Sam Pfeifle
from May 12, 2000


Dot-comic relief
Reasons to be glad the bubble is bursting
by Stephen Heuser
from May 5, 2000


That's smokin'
Are cigarettes still bad for you if you don't pay for them?
by Kris Frieswick
April 28, 2000


Bachelorette-iquette
A tradition that needs some retooling, so to speak
by Michelle Chihara
from April 21, 2000


Stuff it
The things we leave behind
by Kris Frieswick
from April 14, 2000


Oh, boycott
David versus Federated Department Stores, Inc.
by Stephen Heuser
from April 7, 2000


Phone hex
Love in the time of telecom
by Kris Frieswick
from March 31, 2000


TV, guide
Living by the light of the tube
by Jumana Farouky
from March 24, 2000


Time out
This is not my beautiful demographic
by Kris Frieswick
from March 17, 2000


The crying game
Sometimes you can't beat a good manly blubber
by Chris Wright
from March 10, 2000


Now that's rich
Who wants to marry a famillionaire?
by Kris Frieswick
from March 3, 2000


Morphine fan
My new faith in chemicals (and other miracles of modern medicine)
by Michelle Chihara
from February 25, 2000


Air quote me
Harmless finger twitch, or the decline of Western civilization?
by Kris Frieswick
from February 18, 2000


Heart attack
Up with romance! Down with Valentine's Day!
by Stephen Heuser
from February 11, 2000


Dream on
A look at the nightmares that bind us
by Kris Frieswick
from February 4, 2000


Happy 21st!
The best of our brilliant century, so far
by Stephen Heuser
from January 28, 2000


Thong thang
In praise of bottom floss
by Kris Frieswick
from January 21, 2000


Getting stuffed
When did owning things become a substitute for living?
by Stephen Heuser
from January 14, 2000


Mind warp
The Internet is turning me into a 21st-century pain in the ass
by Kris Frieswick
from January 7, 2000


Bad is good
Another year of journo-tainment, and it's all my fault
by Jay Jaroch
from December 31, 1999


Gimme
Why minimalist holidays suck
by Kris Frieswick
from December 24, 1999


Cruise control
A supposedly fun thing I would absolutely do again
by Michelle Chihara
from December 17, 1999


Party pooper
A spy in the house of glitz
by Kris Frieswick
from December 10, 1999


Hand over fist
Why money and masturbation don't mix
by Chris Wright
from December 3, 1999


The waiting
It's not only the hardest part, it's also the most confusing
by Kris Frieswick
from November 26, 1999


The book bind
A recovering reader speaks out
by Stephen Heuser
November 19, 1999


New Year's skeve
Welcome to the global coolness challenge
by Kris Frieswick
November 12, 1999


Don't call me
Can you a cell phone and not be a cell-phone person?
by Michael Joseph Gross
November 5, 1999


Goodbye, Mr. Bill
The happiest day of my life
by Kris Frieswick
October 29, 1999


Jock itch
Notes on suddenly wanting to kick everyone's butt
by Jay Jaroch
October 21, 1999


Slow company
Why raises are better than an on-site masseuse
by Kris Frieswick
October 15, 1999


Hole in none
Good riddance, Ryder Cup
by Dan Zevin
October 8, 1999


Sexual harassment
You'll miss it when it's gone
by Kris Frieswick
October 1, 1999


Cork dork
A beer drinker fears he's not aging like a bottle of fine wine
by Dan Zevin
September 24, 1999


Road test
How a relationship can find its purpose somewhere outside Gary, Indiana
by Jay Jaroch
September 17, 1999


Playing dead
Slip 'N Slide, the Pitch Back, and other horrors of my youth
by Kris Frieswick
September 10, 1999


Jersey Boy
A displaced bridge-and-tunnel person learns that he believes in the promised land
by Dan Zevin
September 3, 1999


No sweatpants, myself
Old clothes make the man
by Dan Zevin
August 27, 1999


Down with OPB
Are Other People's Babies ruining your life?
by Kris Frieswick
August 20, 1999


Fed up
You are what you eat
by Dan Zevin
August 13, 1999


Bass instincts
Notes on recovering the freedom to be bad
by Clea Simon
August 6, 1999


Happy camper
Boyz n the woods
by Dan Zevin
July 30, 1999


Me, naked
How to keep from dying of exposure
by Michael Joseph Gross
July 23, 1999


Jibe talkin'
Sometimes learning something new can take the wind out of your sails
by Dan Zevin
July 16, 1999


Lumping it
Last of the summer whine
by Chris Wright
July 9, 1999


A.C., R.I.P.
A recent widower loses his cool
by Dan Zevin
July 2, 1999


Flim flam
Worried about teen violence? Maybe it's time for some new movie ratings.
by Alissa Quart
June 25, 1999


Fear of fatherhood
When paternal instincts strike, breeder beware
by Dan Zevin
June 18, 1999


Party politics
Ask not for whom the candles burn. Just eat the cake.
by Clea Simon
June 11, 1999


There's the rub
Rage against the massage
by Dan Zevin
June 4, 1999


Commencement redress
Greenspan at Harvard. Kissinger at BU. What the hell do they know?
by Dan Zevin
May 21, 1999


Forbidden questions
Thanks for not asking
by Dan Zevin
May 7, 1999


Don't plan on it
This step-by-step program will help you achieve your long-term goals and plot the course of your future
by Dan Zevin
April 30, 1999


Doggy nation
While others sleep, little tribes citywide hang out with tennis balls and plastic bags...
by Dan Zevin
April 9, 1999


Don't play games
Whoever stops first, wins
by Dan Zevin
March 26, 1999


Maiden voyage
Filthy kitchen? Stinky bathroom? Maybe it's time to spend $50 on a m..m..m
by Dan Zevin
March 19, 1999


America's code war
We used to fear becoming a number. Now we'll just settle for having a familiar one.
by Todd Pitock
March 12, 1999


Fitness crazed
A January gym rat faces February
by Dan Zevin
January 29, 1999


Repair impaired
Confessions of a non-handyman
by Dan Zevin
January 22, 1999


Cappuccino? Espresso? Mad Russian?
A coffee underachiever makes a New Year's resolution
by Dan Zevin
January 15, 1999


Season's gratings
Greeting cards: When you really don't care enough
by Todd Pitock
December 18, 1998


Jerry sprung
How TV's trashmeister turned serious and betrayed us all
by Jay Jaroch
December 4, 1998


Holiday offer
We're holding a place at the table. In Toledo. Act now!
by Mark Bazar
November 27, 1998


Auto immunity
Not having a driver's license isn't just inconvenient. It's practically un-American.
by Alicia Potter
November 20, 1998


Seasoned with yime
Our exes may fade from memory, but their cooking tips live on
by Clea Simon
November 6, 1998


Eat the snail!
The faltering vegetarian confronts his worst fear: a meal that's still alive
by Dan Tobin
October 2, 1998


Movied to tears
Why we can't discuss films without losing friends
by Todd Pitock
September 18, 1998


Park City
In which the author looks for a space
by Ellen Barry
September 11, 1998


Solo fright
Alone for the weekend! Is it time to sow those wild oats -- or warm up some oatmeal?
by Clea Simon
July 24, 1998


Laugh tract
For whom the belly laugh tolls
by Peter Keough
July 17, 1998


Growing up Beastie
A bratty teenager follows his white-boy heroes into adulthood
by Mark Bazer
July 10, 1998


Monumental forces
Why the Fourth of July just hasn't been the same since we lost the war
by Clif Garboden
July 3, 1998


Unsend my heart
Technology brings nuance back into our lives
by Ellen Barry
May 22, 1998


Ill Will Hunting
That screenplay Oscar shoulda been mine. If only I'd written a screenplay.
by Mark Bazer
March 20, 1998


Poised to tell all
I'm interesting! I'm really, really interesting!
by Ellen Barry
March 13, 1998


Conversion course
You'd expect Scientologists to be spacey and intense. You might not expect them to make such a bad movie.
by Mark Bazer
January 30, 1998


Girl power
The fine art of remaining a feminist while having a man kill all the spiders
by Clea Simon
January 23, 1998
 









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