The entire Zero Hour label roster (including the Dirt Merchants, cavorting through "Jingle Bells") contribute to this CD, part of which spoofs the Phil Spector Christmas album and too much of which comes across as self-consciously indie (i.e., snide and off-key). But there are nice seasonal originals by the Cucumbers and Stephanie Sayers, and a surprise highlight by Nicole Blackman, whom some of us know as director of a New York PR firm. She contributes a witty spoken-word list of "What I Want for Christmas": "I want bands like Pearl Jam and R.E.M. to stop being so earnest. . . . I want to come up with a new amusement-park ride that feels like you're on really good drugs that doesn't make you throw up afterward. . . . I want Laurie Anderson to stop. Talking. Like. That." From now on, all of Ms. Blackman's calls get returned.

-- Brett Milano