by Rudy Cheeks

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I've had a recurring dream over the past few months, and I wonder if you could tell me what it means. It takes place in a modest apartment, where people I do not know come in for a house party. Instead of wine, they bring bottles of Windex tied with bows as gifts. And these bottles are placed on top of a grand piano.

In the dream, I am attracted to a guy who looks a lot like Yanni, but with a shorter haircut. We dance to what I believe is cha-cha music and share some heartfelt kisses. Also, members of the Kennedy family appear to be acting as hosts. While this Yanni guy and I never actually consummate our feelings, I am wondering whether I should be looking for him in real life. I have always been of the belief that your dreams have meaning, but I just can't figure out what it is in this one.

-- Beth

Dear Beth,

All I can say is that it might make a difference as to which members of the Kennedy family are present. For instance, if William Kennedy Smith is there, it could be a bad sign. But if it's Patrick or Bobby Jr., it shouldn't be a problem. Basically, if you stop drinking Windex, I believe this dream will go away.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I`ve been going out with a really great guy for a couple of years now. He's 28 and I`m 25. The problem is that he is an only child and lives at home with his parents.

To a certain extent, this has cramped our style, but that's not what I'm writing about. What concerns me is that the time seems to be right for us to consider getting married, but when I mention this, he hesitates or puts if off. He says that he is helping his parents by staying at home, but the truth is that they're both healthy and he's not providing them with any great income.

What do I do with a guy like this? He's really nice and thoughtful and we love each other.

-- Thwarted by Apron Strings

Dear Thwarted by Apron Strings,

This guy is 28 and he's still living with his parents?! Sounds like the classic "mama's boy" situation to me, and I would urge you to rethink the idea of marrying him unless you want to be his new mother rather than his wife.

I assume that you would like a husband and not a child. But this guy is still operating as the "son," and he obviously likes that role. No doubt, he would continue to function as such with you, so if you want to double as his mom, go right ahead.

If there's any chance for your relationship to end in a healthy marriage, your boyfriend must move out on his own -- and I don't mean two doors down from his parents or moving in with you.

Your boyfriend has a dependency jones, and that, in Dr. Lovemonkey's estimation, is not a good starting point for a marriage. Chances are that he doesn't want to move out and that this relationship is doomed until he seeks some independence. If he's not willing to do so, I would forget about this relationship and move on.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My girlfriend and I are having an ongoing argument about the situation with President Clinton and Monica Lewinsky. I say that he did it, but she wants to believe that there is a reasonable explanation for their relationship. This may not be such a big deal, but it has caused a schism in our relationship. Who is right here?

-- Big Bob

Dear Big Bob,

Not unlike Dr. Lovemonkey, you two seem to have too much time on your hands. And since there is so little actual information about this latest White House embarrassment, I have no way of knowing who is right here.

However, if your girlfriend is searching for explanations, she might want to consider that Monica is merely a very enthusiastic young lady who, as a White House intern, wanted to go above and beyond the call of duty in making life easy for Clinton. Maybe she noticed that the White House custodial staff was not doing all it could to keep the Oval Office in tip-top shape and, as a result, volunteered to take care of areas that she felt were being neglected.

For instance, she may have observed that while the top of Clinton's desk was being attended to regularly, no one had bothered to do any polishing or cleaning underneath. Taking it upon herself to get down on her knees and do some polishing may have been her way of showing that she was a patriotic lass indeed.

Busy as he is, Clinton probably did not have the time to vacate his office while this sprucing-up was going on. And who knows what interesting things young Monica found under there. Maybe she thought she saw a tube of toothpaste and took the opportunity to practice a little oral hygiene.

Dr. Lovemonkey believes that it is best that couples fight about things that might actually mean something to them, and the unfortunate little sideshows going on in our nation's capital would not readily qualify as such. But if you wish to continue with this ongoing argument, I offer this appropriately surreal scenario as a good starting point.

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