I Love You, Don't Touch Me

(Orion)

Writer/director Julie Davis takes on the supposed conflicts of today's single gal: madonna versus whore, romance versus sex, balding Jewish mensch versus dashing British cad. Yes, it's Ally McBeal meets Woody Allen as Katie (Marla Schaffel), a 25-year-old virgin, diddles over the fate of her hymen. Davis asks the right questions about sexual double standards, but she doesn't get any answers from her smug, unfunny heroine.