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R: ARCHIVE, S: MOVIES, D: 09/09/1999,

Love Stinks

This self proclaimed "unromantic" comedy tries to garner laughs by playing on the downside of love. What it does is rekindle the misogynistic notion that women are husband hunters who judge a guy by the size of his, uh, wallet -- and that they'll stop at nothing to achieve their goal. Successful sit-com writer Seth (French Stewart, looking like Martin Short and sounding like Jimmy Stewart) meets babealicious Chelsea (Bridgette Wilson) at the wedding of Larry (MTV's Bill Bellamy as the sounding-board buddy) and Holly (bland supermodel Tyra Banks). It's love at first sight -- at least for one half of the equation.

After a blissful but brief courtship, Chelsea connives her way into cohabitation, and she has her sights set on a four-carat diamond, a white wedding, and joint credit cards. Seth balks and Chelsea morphs into the bitch from hell, putting hair remover in his shampoo, getting him ejected from his own abode, and then slapping him with a palimony suit. The sophomoric gags that in a Farrelly film would be considered brass-balled wit here just accentuate the inane writing and a flaccid plot. The story line does ultimately strike a cord of inspiration in the rompish conclusion, but by that time all the love is gone.

-- Tom Meek