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Petty theft
Grand Theft Auto on a small scale
BY AARON SOLOMON

By now, everybody knows what to expect from the Grand Theft Auto series: accept a mission, steal a car, shoot some shit up, maybe visit a hooker or two, repeat. There’s nothing in Grand Theft Auto Advance that will add to that killer formula. What it is, really, is a rehashing of the original GTA that all the cool sophomores were playing on my dorm room floor in 1998.

Supposedly, the missions are all new, but you could’ve fooled me. At this point, does it even matter what the missions are anymore? They’ve become like 10th-grade math problems: all subbing for X’s and Y’s (in this case, missions and bosses). There’s nothing wrong with familiarity, and that’s what Grand Theft Auto on the Game Boy Advance is about: it doesn’t blaze new ground, but it will make you feel safe and comfy — like that old security blanket you’ve been stashing away in your closet.

Grand Theft Auto Advance returns you to Liberty City, where you play a guy named Mike, who looks not unlike Frank Castle (that’s the Punisher to you uneducated folks). At the start of the game you are teamed with a guy named Vinnie, who has just one more day 'til retirement – sorry, I mean one more job before the two of you can leave Liberty City for good. Needless to say, Vinnie bites it within the first 10 minutes of the game, and you spend the rest of the time tying up his loose ends all over town — pretty standard stuff.

Soon you're working for a greasy pub owner, carting his fat ass all around town, in exchange for info on Vinnie’s killer. Obviously, this greaseball gets his before he has the chance to tell you what you want to know, and from there you move on to an ever-increasing array of stereotyped villains, each promising you info for action. There's a quirky Latino gangster (whom you get to beat the shit out of before he takes you as his charge – how’s that work?), a Jamaican Boss Mon, and a Yakuza Dragon Lady, to name a few.

After immersing yourself in the streets of Vice City and San Andreas, returning to the bird’s-eye view of GTA Advance would seem to be like watching that Shining miniseries starring Steven Weber after the Jack Nicholson classic – clearly a step in the wrong direction. This is not the case, however, as its very existence on Game Boy Advance – and thus its portable capabilities – belies its low-bit graphics and elevator-music soundtrack. For Xbox owners like me, GTA Advance helps pass the time until the good folks at Rockstar release San Andreas on our machines.

The game comes with a fold-out map of Liberty City, which is almost helpful when trying to maneuver through the streets. I say almost because it doesn’t tell you where the hospitals are located, and with no in-game map feature (a major minus), you’ll drive all over town looking for health power-ups. This is really the only time when the bird's-eye view is a detriment –you’ll drive by people and items a few times before finally seeing them, and during the races the perspective will cause you to slam on the brakes looking for the checkpoints (wasting precious seconds of race time). As for the races themselves, if you don’t win the first time, the checkpoint positions don’t change, so it just takes remembering the placements to win.

There are no Faggio bikes in this game (my favorite ride in Vice City – go ahead and laugh), but familiar cars such as the Diablo, Yakuza, and the BF Injection (heh heh) return, alongside new cars like the Brit (which is basically a mini Cooper). The police cars absolutely fly, and I found myself driving in these more than any other; it was the first car I jacked, and when I crashed it they sent an ambulance after me, those fools! The best part about the big cars, the ambulance, SWAT van, and buses is the ease with which they flip over. In one mission, you race through the streets in a big charter bus while people are slamming you in the rear (get your mind out of the gutter!), and I dare you to pass it in the first go-round.

It seems like it’s harder to gain wanted stars in this game (it takes more than one swipe at them in their car before they come after you), and it’s certainly harder to get rid of them. The difficulty of finding extra items like stars and health packs remains the worst part about GTA Advance. Even the packages seem scarcer this time around. And while some missions actually encourage hand-to-hand combat, I’ve found that the simplest and most fun way of dispatching enemies is by fish-tailing them with your car. If you want a more personal killing experience, go for the shotgun (there’s just so much wrong with that last sentence).

There is one major improvement, however: Grand Theft Auto Advance gives you the option of saving your game in the middle of a mission, rather than having to wait until you’ve reached your hideout, as in other chapters.

Grand Theft Auto Advance doesn’t take this series anywhere new, but it is highly addictive. It is certainly worth getting if you’ve already got a Game Boy Advance, but not reason enough to go out and buy one (as Vice City was for the PS2). If you’ve got an Xbox and can wait the decade or so before San Andreas is released on that platform, do so. But for those absolutely jonesing for some mayhem, you could do a lot worse.

Score: 7.5 (out of 10)


Issue Date: November 12 - 18, 2004
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