Liar, Liar

The day I met Alana, I gave up my friendship with Chris. I spotted him leaning over Alana at a local bar and moved in, ingratiating myself with her and alienating Chris forever. It was worth it. Just for the way she wore her ripped jeans it was worth it.

Alana was the most fashionable girl I'd ever dated. Her friends were the most fashionable people I'd ever hung out with. I was only mildly fashionable -- enough that they'd let me into Axis, but not enough that anyone would dance with me when I got there. Alana, on the other hand, seemed to have found a portal into the inner circles of Boston's music scene, and she took me with her.

Night after night, Alana and I would hang around backstage at Bunratty's or the Channel or the Rat -- she mingling effortlessly, me being ignored by guitarists with large sideburns. It seemed like a good arrangement. Or it did until the night Alana stood me up. When she explained why, the depth of my girlfriend's musical appreciation began to feel more like a liability.

Alana hadn't fucked Mick Hucknall, the lead singer from Simply Red. She'd just befriended him. She told me this over the phone, and I hung up the receiver with so much force it shattered. But I believed her. And when Alana's sister, Freckles, let slip that the pair had spent the entire night on the band's tour bus, I swallowed Alana's "We were just talking" line like a big fish. I even accepted one of Hucknall's complimentary tickets for the following night's gig at the Orpheum.

A couple of years ago I ran into Alana. It had been 10 years since we dated, and I guess she thought the time was right to get a little something off her chest. She had fucked Hucknall, she said. All night. He was so vociferous she thought the neighbors would complain.

I already knew, of course -- except for the crazed-howling bit. But at the time I'd managed to convince myself that I believed her. I had too much to lose. When you'll buy someone's horseshit despite all evidence to the contrary -- that's amóre.

| Where Did Our Love Gogh?| Under Where?| Thank Heaven for Little Girls| Doing the Right Wrong Thing| Aw, Shoot| Submitted for Approval| Liar, Liar| All Night Long| Hello, Sailor| Sign of the Times| Queasy Rider| Tripping the Lights| Bar Fright| Circles of Love|