How to decode a goth

by Ellen Barry, photos by Dana Smith

Among the special talents of the goths is an instinct for fine social category -- a New Romantic can be distinguished from a hippie goth, who can be distinguished from a skin goth, who can be distinguished from a trashy graveyard goth, who can be distinguished from a net.goth, and so on. Goths in San Francisco trace their lineage through "parents" (who introduced them to the scene) and "grandparents" (who introduced the person who introduced them to the scene). And this past January, Peter Caffin released the ultimate goth classification system: Goth.Code Version 3.0A.

Caffin's code -- a variation of Robert Hayden's Geek Code -- translates a goth's education, sexual proclivities, aesthetic, physique, and eating habits into a string of numbers and letters. With the help of an easy-to-use manual (downloadable off the Web, of course), goths can read an entire personality in a series of characters.

So there's someone on your e-mail list identifying himself as a GoEn7$TPcGBGMPuoClbn9kBD? Don't panic. According to the Goth Code, the beginning is easy: "Go" means goth. Next, "En": an engineer. And the 7 means he's got a master's degree. (The numeral correlates with his level of education. Helpful hint: don't put 10 unless you're still jet-lagged from that trip to Sweden to pick up your Nobel). This guy's got a paid job, as the $ attests, but he's interested in more than just the latest Intel chip. He's also a beacon of '80s retro: "TP" means type punk. So now you've got an engineer with a mohawk. And he's not only colorful (cG = green hair), but coordinated as well: BG denotes green boots.

Not surprisingly, he stomps those green boots to "old wave" punk music (MPuo); he also admits to a more refined weakness for Beethoven (Clb means classical music). Between concerts he keeps himself on a strict diet (n9), maybe to keep those muscles strong for BD -- the bondage and domination he dabbles in after a long day at the lab.

So there you have it: a goth engineer with a master's degree and green hair, who should prove an interesting one-night stand. Now that you've found a person beneath the numbers and letters, one last question remains -- one that even the Goth Code can't answer. Do you e-mail him back?

-- Liz Goldhirsh and Ellen Barry

A week in the life

Ellen Barry can be reached at ebarry[a]phx.com.