News Features

Turning feminist theory into a visceral rape deterrent

By DENA RIEGEL | April 28, 2011

CYNDI AMATO | executive director, Sexual Assault Response Services of Southern Maine | "I thought about how much time women spend from the time that they understand that they should be fearful, and trying to keep themselves safe. The head space, emotional, and physical space, takes up so much time and it's so oppressive, and if we had the opportunity...and the space and freedom to reach our potential, what could be achieved? That's my fantasy. If we were fearless. I wonder what it would feel like. I think it would be pretty cool. I think we'd be lighter and happier, and I think we'd all be glowing. I think every woman has a dark spot on her aura, so to speak."

PATRICE LOCKHART | medical director of the New England Eating Disorder Program at Mercy Hospital | "The law of the land . . . the force of the legal system . . . would be 'we're going to love you to death.'"

EMILY PAINE | senior studying women and gender studies and sociology at USM, founding member of Dirty Dishes Burlesque Revue, Family Crisis Services volunteer | "My feminist fantasy: every day is dress-up day. As in, it's totally appropriate to come to work/school/life dressed like a dapper 19th-century masher one day and Chloe Sevigny from Carnivale the next. In other words, acceptance of the fact that we all dress in gendered costume daily anyway, and taking it to the extreme. Little boys can run around being princesses and little girls can be firefighters and they can switch without consequence. Where labels like tomboy, butch, feminine, sissy, androgynous, (etc.) are unnecessary, but still fun to play with."

JESS MILNEAL | restoration carpenter | "I wish that people called shitty movies Dick Flicks instead of Chick Flicks. There's a shit-ton of Dick Flicks out there."

JESS MILNEAL "I wish that tampon dispensers came back, that tampons worked, and that you could complain about it when it happens. I was more bold about it when I didn't work with all men. I get nervous every time I get my period, because we work in a lot of places that don't have bathrooms. We worked at this one place that didn't have running water for a while."

JESS MILNEAL "I wish that when I'm not being made manager, or when my supervisor is being catty with me, or when they want to help me with something, I have to wonder whether or not it's because I'm a woman. I think sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. I know sometimes they're in a shitty mood and it's not because I'm a woman; but I've had enough experiences where they have said sexist things and let me know that in the back of their head they're thinking 'she's a girl, she's a girl, she's a girl.'"

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5 Comments / Add Comment

Koba39

I personally find this article rambling and incoherent. But then again I am a male, so perhaps it is not supposed to make sense to me.

I understand there is been invented a device to punish rapists, which apparently is another sign of "female empowerment". Just a few questions: How do you think a rapist would react when he is hurt like that? Simply walk away? What about if it is a group rape? One man gets hurt, but how would the others react?

And no - I don't really buy the notion that only women are the sole victims of male violence. Ever heard about prison rape? I also don't think that men are the sole sexual predators, but it is entirely correct that it is far more difficult for our culture to accept that women can abuse men or children. Just a few years ago it was standard operating policy for hotlines in Great Britain to hang up when children called for help and told that their moms or other women were sexually abusing them. Since their claims were not taking seriously the problem simply didn't exist. Very simple, but not very true. When the hotlines began to take the claims seriously the numbers of phone calls simply went through the roof.

A few numbers: In 2008 2.142 children called a hotline called Childline in Great Britain and reported sexual abuse by women. 61 percent of those reported to be sexually abused by their own mothers. The total number of reports grew with 132 percent.

To be 100 percent clear: I believe in gender equality, but that doesn't mean I believe in feminism. Perhaps it used to be about justice in the past, but it is certainly not the case today and this article is ample proof. Feminism is simply nothing more than a power-grap and is based on pure hatred toward men. This article is actually the usual feminist male-bashing, misandric propaganda in an effort to prove, that women are terribly oppressed, that only men are evil etc. I am simply amazed that such ideas can still be printed, but of course male-bashing has become an entire industry in the United States.

Posted: April 29 2011 at 10:40 AM

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Laura Hetrick

Koba39: You live in a world where you don't have to fear what's in your drink, where you don't have to fear walking alone, where you don't have to avoid eye contact because the other person will think it's a come-on, where you don't have to choose clothes that look nice or else you're an ugly hag but not too nice or else you're a slut asking for it, where you don't get whistled at or leered at or felt up because simply existing apparently entitles everyone else to your body. Some vocal feminists do hate men, I won't deny that. But feminism, for me, is about creating safety for women. Feminism for you, as a man, probably seems like an attack on your comfortable state of being in power. Well, yes, it kind of is, because that power excludes women. Your nice comfortable status quo is very uncomfortable for me. As a man, you can't experience that. You can only do your best to empathize and listen to what women are saying in articles like this.

Posted: April 29 2011 at 11:20 AM

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Koba39

As a matter of fact, I live in a neighborhood with gang violence and crime - so the idea that men never experience fear, violence or crime is ridiculous. Most inmates in prisons are men and most victims of crime are also men. But of course there is a strong tendency among feminists to dismiss male victims by saying it is their own fault, because they are victims of other men. For some reason the same logic (or lack of it) doesn't apply the other way around. If a women gets hurt anywhere in the world it is apparently every man's fault.

Your idea that I have power because I am a man is also simply hilarious. Yes, I was a CEO in a big company I would probably have a lot of power, but guess what - most men are at the top of society, which feminists never forget. But they are certainly also at the rock bottom of society, which feminists always keep forgetting. If you want to have a piece of my "power" you are most welcome, but I think you will be disappointed.

Once again - in case you didn't get the first time - I believe in gender equality. I have even defended women against angry boyfriends or ex-husbands, even though I don't consider myself to be especially brave. But I have a long time ceased to believe that feminism is about that.

Posted: April 29 2011 at 11:44 AM

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Mathew

Laura, you don't live in a world where you're scared your bitter ex might tell a rape lie to the cops. You don't live in a world where paranoid mothers make you scared to be alone with children. You don't live in world where you're scared to check your own childs nappy when you're out, in case someone calls the cops. You don't live in a world were someone of the other gender can beat you in public, but f you try to defend yourself you'll be arrested for abuse.

Feminism is an evil hateful ideology, it's sole goal is the demonization of men.
And feminists are evil hateful people.

Posted: May 03 2011 at 9:58 AM

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Carlin Whitehouse

Come up with your most exhaustive list of male-experienced oppression, and the list for women will quadruple it - at least! Spouting hate and ignorance is no substitute for reality - a world in which men dominate the institutions and the mainstream culture: legislatures, judge's benches, law enforcement, business, academia, media outlets, etc. As James Brown said, this is a man's world. No doubt about it.
Feminism, contrary to your ill-conceived theories, is about EQUALITY. Not special interests, or special rights. A world in which our daughters don't have to fear being raped - to the tune of ONE IN FOUR.
And guess what? Our sons are raped too - ONE IN TWELVE.
98% of the time sexual assaults are perpetrated BY MEN. I hope that's no surprise to you.
Yes. violence happens to men too. Of course it does. Is it women's violence they're most likely to fear. No. It's other men.
No one is saying that men are inherently violent, raping beasts. I'm not and you probably aren't, either (although your words don't shine brightly on your prospects). I believe in an all-encompassing view of masculinity, where it includes mixed martial arts AND tender loving fatherhood, drinkin beers with buddies AND acceptance of our gay brothers, hot sex AND consent. ALL these things are good and right.
If "women done you wrong" at some point, or you've lost custody of your kids along the way, don't be taking it out on feminists. We just want a world where freedom and justice prevails.

Posted: May 06 2011 at 1:16 PM

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