FRIDAY, APRIL 19, 2002 — It’s become something of a truism to say that the American press tends to muddy the truth by taking things out of context, by failing to report salient facts, by making egregious blunders, and, sometimes, by employing downright mendacity. While none of us wants to believe such accusations, a number of recent news reports suggest that the media’s relationship with the truth is often, at best, rather strained.

In Beirut, mobs greeted Secretary of State Colin Powell with cries of ... "Powell, get out of here!" — The Boston Globe, 4/19

Hogwash. The fact is, the "Powell, get out of here!" line was uttered after the secretary of state had inadvertently walked in on a Palestinian negotiator while he was sitting on the toilet. In truth, mobs greeted the secretary of state with cries of, "Powell, why don’t you drop by for tea later!" and "Powell, that’s a nice tie you’re wearing!"

A judge is being asked to decide if thousands of voters who signed a ballot question outlawing gay marriage actually meant to sign an initiative barring the slaughter of horses for human consumption. — Associated Press, 4/18

This report is grossly inaccurate. The thousands of voters referred to above meant to sign a ballot initiative outlawing equine marriages (on the grounds that such unions are "an affront to a sacred institution"). What they actually signed was a bill legalizing the consumption of human flesh. The reporter also failed to note that McDonald’s is already planning to launch a line of McMan sandwiches.

A US F-16 fighter pilot dropped a 227-kilogram (500-pound) laser-guided bomb on Canadian troops engaged in a live-fire exercise in southern Afghanistan because he thought he was under hostile fire, a US defense official said. — Yahoo News, 4/19

A tragic accident? Right. As most Americans are fully aware, the US has been planning a military assault on Canada for some time now. Indeed, no longer can the press afford to dismiss longstanding rumors that the South Park movie was funded by the CIA.

The husband of a 70-year-old Alzheimer’s patient who vanished while changing planes at a Texas airport in December has sued American Airlines for $10 million. — Associated Press, 4/19

At first glance, this man may seem to have a strong case. But what the papers have failed to report is that the man suing American Airlines is himself an Alzheimer’s patient, that the missing passenger was flying on United Airlines when she vanished, that the original lawsuit was for 10 million tins of condensed milk, and, most damning of all, that the plaintiff in question now claims to be married to a horse.

The space shuttle Atlantis should return to earth on Friday, following an 11-day mission during which the crew constructed the first railroad in space. — CNN, 4/19

This report comes hot on the heels of reports of a fatal Amtrak accident in Florida. While America is rightly shocked and saddened to wake to images of mangled railroad cars, we must also ask ourselves why the media failed to report eyewitness accounts that the "derailed" train actually "came crashing down from above." A government cover-up? You be the judge.

[Robert Blake’s] greatest success came as a hard-edged detective on the 1975-’78 series Baretta. "I told you, man, nobody kills nobody," the detective declared as he busted a killer in one episode. — The Boston Globe, 4/19

Yesterday, the actor Robert Blake was arrested for the shooting death of his wife. The whole affair stinks of a frame-up, in which the press is complicit. Why, for instance, aren’t the media challenging the LAPD’s dismissal of the actor’s utterly credible assertion that he was inside a restaurant retrieving his gun when his wife was shot? In a related matter, why aren’t the papers reporting that office killer Michael McDermott is lining up to use the "nobody kills nobody" defense?