Divide and conquer

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for almost two-and-a-half years. We’re both graduating from high school and he’s going off to college (which is almost two hours away) and we won’t be able to see each other as frequently as we have for years.

Although our relationship continues to be strong, I’m afraid he’s going to start getting a little wild and run around with other girls after getting settled on campus. I don’t want to lose him, and I’m wondering if there’s something I can do before he goes off to school so that he won’t stray and will realize how much I care about him.

— Worried In Love

Dear Worried,

As far as doing something to assure you that he won’t stray, there’s no guarantee. In fact, with him living at a new school and meeting new people, there’s a strong likelihood that he’ll do some experimenting. This is only natural.

Still, two hours away is not exactly a continental divide. You can arrange to see each other on a fairly regular basis, albeit not every day.

What Dr. Lovemonkey will tell you may be tough to digest, but I think it’s your best strategy in this situation: don’t try to control things or to exert too much pressure on him. You should both make an effort to stay in contact, but also to get on with your lives. There have been many instances in which young people have cooled down their relationship and then had it come back to life. But you will do yourself no favors by being too insistent. Let him meet and perhaps have a fling or two with other people, and you should do the same. If you still feel strongly about each other after this, it will only strengthen your relationship.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I think that this guy at school is coming on to me. He’s always around, standing really close to me, and he seems to be constantly smiling. Whenever I say anything, he tends to laugh like I’m really the funniest, most amusing person in the world. I don’t really like him or hang around with him, although there is something very interesting about him. I’m not sure what I should do to get rid of him, as he is pretty much a nuisance. What do you think I should do?

— Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

You should probably ask him to go out with you. Although you act as if he’s a nuisance, it’s Dr. Lovemonkey’s considered opinion that you’re really intrigued by this guy and are enjoying the attention. Of course, the Doctor does not expect you to accept this analysis of the situation. You might want to avoid him as best you can, but we’re betting that you’ll find yourself missing his attention.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m a junior in high school, we’ll be having our senior prom next year, and I’m one of the people on the committee. Every year the senior class picks a theme, usually based on a song or a movie, and I’m wondering if you have any ideas about what a good theme would be?

— A.

Dear A.,

You might want to hold off for a while and see what transpires in the pop culture universe in the next six to eight months before selecting a theme. Unfortunately, Dr. Lovemonkey is probably older than your parents and rather out-of-touch with what’s going on in teen world. If there is pressure to come up with something soon, a quasi-Spider-Man theme might do. (Using Sir Walter Scott’s "Oh what a tangled web we weave/When first we practice to deceive!" might impress parents and teachers.) In choosing a pop song, remember to keep away from the saccharine (you have no idea how many baby boomers rue the "We’ve Only Just Begun" theme of their proms) and the salacious (e.g., Chuck Berry’s "My Ding-a-Ling").