Creeped out

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend and I were watching the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony on VH1 the other night. One of the bands being inducted was the Police. I’m only 19 so I don’t remember the Police (although I do know who Sting is). They sang this song, ÒEvery Step You TakeÓ [ÒEvery Breath You TakeÓ]. It seems to me that this song was from the point of view of a stalker and it was really creepy. My boyfriend told it was a huge hit back in the day. So what’s up with that? It seems to me that this is a very bad and inappropriate thing to be so popular.

— Sandra

Dear Sandra,

ÒEvery Breath You TakeÓ by the Police was a huge hit. And, indeed, it is about obsession, and your suspicion — that these are the thoughts of a stalker — isn’t off the mark. But one must understand that songs, like literature, plays, films, paintings, and other forms of creative expression, aren’t necessarily endorsements or expressions of belief. Not all artists are propagandists.

That William Shakespeare wrote Macbeth and Titus Andronicus doesn’t mean that he favored murder and cannibalism. These are dramatic tales that depict the human condition. Dr. Lovemonkey very much admires the film The Silence of the Lambs, but this doesn’t mean he thinks that Dr. Hannibal Lecter is a character to emulate.

One of Dr. Lovemonkey’s favorite songwriters is Randy Newman, who frequently writes from a third-person perspective. For instance, the Doctor believes that Newman’s song ÒRednecks,Ó from his masterpiece Good Old Boys album, is one of the most brilliant aural portraits about the pathology of racism ever created. This song is written from the point of view of a Trent Lott-like character and is brilliant in depicting not only the mindset of the racist, but the blind hypocrisy of white liberals.

ÒEvery Breath You TakeÓ shouldn’t be perceived as something representing the point of view of Sting or the Police, but rather as a perceptive work of art.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My girlfriend and I have been having a rocky time for a while, but we still have a strong commitment to each other. What I mean is, we’ve been together for almost a year (10 months) and there was an instance a few months back where I was unfaithful. I acknowledged what I’d done and, although it caused some tension, we’ve been able to work things out and (I think) get past it.

Now, she tells me she feels that she needs some space, doesn’t want to spend so much time with me, and maybe even feel free to see other men. This isn’t sitting too well with me and I’m tempted to argue against it. Still, I wonder if I let her get it out of her system if things will eventually work out. Do you have any thoughts on this?

— Concerned Citizen

Dear Concerned Citizen,

I’m not going to stroke you. Generally, when someone says, ÒThey need some space,Ó it’s a euphemism for ÒI’m pretty much through with you and I’m trying to figure out a graceful way to get out of this relationship. Sorry, but that is the way this usually plays out. Unless there’s a lot you haven’t told me, I suspect this relationship is on the way out.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to rcheeks[a]phx.com.