Give it up

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

One of my oldest friends is getting married soon and she’s having a major party in which guests are expecting to bring gifts. I’ve been discussing this with my boyfriend and he thinks the gift should be something practical, like a kitchen appliance or a small piece of furniture or something. My sense about gifts is that they should be fun and frivolous, like jewelry. I can see his point, but I’m still inclined to want to get something a bit more fun. Do you have any thoughts on this?

— Haven’t Bought It Yet

Dear Haven’t,

In this particular case, I’m inclined to agree with your boyfriend. I think extravagant gifts are wonderful for birthdays, holidays, and other occasions. But when a couple gets married, they’re usually starting out with little in the way of housewares and the like. It’s generally appropriate, therefore, to give gifts that will be useful in making a home and a life together. A coffee maker is also a good choice since — unlike jewelry — it’s something they can both enjoy in the same way.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I was planning to watch the Academy Awards and have to admit this is something that has been bothering me for a couple of years now. What’s the deal with Melissa Rivers? Does she get to do these Oscar pre-shows merely because she’s the daughter of Joan Rivers, or is there something I’m missing here?

— Inquiring Mind

Dear Inquiring Mind,

Your question presumes that Melissa Rivers is a totally talentless hack, riding on the coattails of a mother who made a name for herself by being one of America’s most tasteless comics. Au contraire, my friend. Melissa Rivers is actually a stupendously talented actress, composer, singer, director, novelist, magician and world-class tennis player. But she chooses not to engage in her specialties because she believes that asking celebrities, " What are you wearing? " makes a much larger contribution to our culture.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m planning to attend an anti-war rally in the next few days and I’m wondering what to wear. I’ve been watching the news coverage of other anti-war actions and have come to the conclusion that the media likes to zero in on those dressed in a more casual or " hippie " manner. Having been to a number of these events, I know there are many, many people who look just like average, middle class Americans. Do you think, strategically, it is better that I dress in a more conservative manner to make the point that the anti-war movement is not just a counterculture event?

— Bill

Dear Bill,

Your presence is the most important thing, and I don’t think it matters a whit what you’re wearing. It should be clear to anyone paying attention that the people currently expressing anti-war sentiments are a varied and diverse group. Yes, in the ’60s and early ’70s, when opposition to the Vietnam War was burgeoning, there was what was known as a " counterculture. " But many of those opposed to the Vietnam War were not necessarily part of the counterculture. Unfortunately, the media will always be drawn to the most colorful and extreme. At any rate, I don’t believe your wardrobe will be as influential as your voice.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to rcheeks[a]phx.com.