All alone

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

You probably get this question a lot. It’s about how to meet people. I am a 25-year-old woman, and since I graduated from college three years ago, I have met only two single, straight men anywhere near my age. As it happened, neither of them was interested in me. I tried the bar scene for a long time, but it’s totally not for me. I tried answering a personals ad, but I’m not so into that any more either. I’ve gone on group trips, joined clubs, and taken classes, but I only meet women, couples, or really old people. Not only am I getting very frustrated at having no options, I’m getting a little scared! I ask people all the time how they met their significant others and the answer is always, ÒworkÓ or Òschool.Ó These aren’t options for me and I’m completely out of ideas. Do you have any suggestions? It’d be much appreciated. Thanks.

— Frustrated

Dear Frustrated,

If, in the past three years, you’ve met only two single straight men in their early 20s, it could be that you’ve been hanging out at a lot of gay bars. Not to worry — all those gay men might be able to introduce you to some of their straight friends.

It sounds like you might be trying too hard. One option is having friends, gay or straight, introduce you to single men who you might like. Other than that, I always suggest (to use a rather hackneyed phrase), ÒFollow your bliss.Ó Engage in the activities you enjoy, go to the places you like going to, and hang around with the people you like to hang around with. Doing so greatly elevates the chance that you’ll eventually meet someone simpatico. I believe you’re just going through a particularly tough time and that it will pass. Keep your hopes up and think positively. Things will eventually turn around.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

It seems all we have been hearing about are the huge anti-war protests, with a couple hundred thousand people in the larger ones, like one recently in New York City. What about the silent majority? You know, the 70 percent that supports our commander-in-chief? I guess to do a story on them, one would have to go to their places of work, and that would not be a very interesting story. With all these people protesting, someone has to work in order to keep our country prosperous.

— FgS

Dear FgS,

You must have mistaken me for Dr. Peacemonkey or Dr. Warmonkey (a.k.a Paul Wolfowitz). Be that as it may, Dr. Lovemonkey speculates that a large portion of the so-called Òsilent majorityÓ are too busy watching Joe Millionaire or Fear Factor to leave their homes and let their feelings be known. That’s why it’s called the Òsilent majority.Ó You also might want to ask President Bush why he hasn’t instructed his spin doctors to use the phrase Òsilent majority.Ó The last guys to do so were named Nixon & Agnew, and we all know what happened to them.

By the way, it’s my sense that people work more to keep themselves solvent than to keep our country prosperous.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been thinking lately about the fate of Boston Red Sox baseball great Ted Williams. Is his body still cryogenically frozen? What’s the deal with that, anyway? Does his family actually think that someday they’ll be bringing him back to life? Even if he’s brought back to life, won’t it be as an old and ill man, not the Splendid Splinter in his prime? What exactly is going on here?

— E.D. from Attleboro

Dear E.D.,

Once again, I’d just like to point out that the name of this column is, ÒAsk Dr. Lovemonkey,Ó not, ÒSon of Mr. Wizard.Ó I don’t know much about the world of cryogenics or the likelihood that Ted Williams will ever be brought back to life. My sense, however, is that it wasn’t a great idea (whoever had it) to freeze his body.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to rcheeks[a]phx.com.