Bad thoughts

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I met this great guy at work a couple of months ago and we started doing a bit of flirting. Things have progressed to a kiss, but not an entire make-out session, a date, or anything else. I’m head over heels crazy about him, but a couple of weeks ago I found out that he’s married and has a couple of young kids. I feel really badly about this, but I’m still crazy about him and he indicates, in every way, that he’s crazy about me, too. But I do feel very badly about his wife and kids and I’m hesitant to do anything. Any suggestions?

— Wild About Larry

Dear Wild About Larry,

Get the hell out of there and stop it. Larry is married. Larry has kids. Larry is behaving badly, and this should be taken into consideration when you’re judging someone’s character. Perhaps you don’t care that he’s of bad character and are only interested in having sex with him. There are all sorts of negative implications about getting involved with someone who is married and has children. I urge you in the strongest possible terms to break off this flirtation, because the possibilities for sorrow (and sorrow that will cast a wide net) far, far outweigh any possible (and fleeting) benefits.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I recently applied for a job that I’d really like to get. It is an executive assistant’s job, but I’m getting the feeling that something is wrong here. It’s a small company (only about 35-40 employees) and I’d be working for the boss.

The boss set up an initial interview in his office and it went very well, although he seemed a bit more casual and personal than one would expect. I just figured that this was his style and thought very little of it until about a week later, when he called and wanted to do a second interview at his home and in the evening.

It seems to me that this is inappropriate. Not only that, but it has made me reconsider the first interview. I realize some of the things that he did and said, which I just sort of let pass at the time, were also inappropriate. I agreed to the second interview (albeit, hesitantly), but now I’m thinking about calling it off. The problem is that I really do want the job, but all sorts of alarms are going off on this one. What do you think?

— Laura

Dear Laura,

Your instincts seem pretty acute to Dr. Lovemonkey. Call your potential boss back and tell him you’d prefer to meet for the follow-up interview during the day and at the office. If he insists that it be at night at his place, you have two choices: You can decide right then and there to pass on the job, or tell him you’ll go to the meeting, but that you’ll have to bring your :boyfriend: because it’s the only time you get to see each other and he insists on coming along.

At this point, check the Yellow Pages for some sort of :Rent a Bodybuilder: type outfit, and hire the biggest, meanest looking guy available. Tell him it’s okay if he wants to bring his Uzi and gold-plated machete because the guy you’re visiting is seriously interested in collecting exotic weaponry and would probably be fascinated. Don’t be afraid to dress especially for your prospective boss. Think Diane Keaton in Annie Hall or Joan Jett during her substance abuse years.

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