Crazy crush

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

For about four years, I’ve been served by a waiter whom I barely paid attention to. In fact, I think we kind of dislike each other. Maybe we still do. We always bicker. In the past year, however, we’ve had a very weird attraction thing happening. It came out of nowhere. I’ve caught him staring at me. He’s seen me looking at him. Once I tried to make a move and invite him to a party, but nothing came of it. Another time, he made a move, but I was wrapped up in something else, so I just didn’t respond.

I thought this "thing" had fizzled out until a male companion joined me for dinner. My waiter was pissed! This both puzzled and thrilled me. Why the hell would I care if he was mad? Is this some crazy crush crap? We’re not children, we’re supposed to be grownups. Why are we acting like punk-ass kids in high school and why can’t we just get over this weird attraction? In other words, what’s the deal?!

— Frustrated-n-Infatuated

Dear Frustrated,

It does sound like "some crazy crush crap," and you should feel happy that you can still experience this kind of thing. So, now that you know that you’re still capable of finding someone excitingly attractive, the thing to do would be to adopt a more positive attitude. The "puck-ass high school" thing is putting up an "I’m too cool to care" front. Fuhgeddaboutit! Why not strike up a pleasant conversation with this guy, or see if he’ll meet you for a drink or coffee somewhere? Explore the possibilities. He might turn out to be a great person, and since he seems interested in you and you in him, the first element is already in play. There’s nothing wrong with finding someone else attractive. So just open up a little and drop the games you’re both playing. If you’re both interested and unattached, what could be better?

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am the single mother of a four-year- old boy. I haven’t really dated since my son was born, and I feel that I’m now ready to start again. My life is very together, but I don’t have a lot of spare time. I like being with my son as much as possible, and I don’t want to feel that whatever little bit of time I’m not with him is being wasted. I wanted to know if you have any advice on meeting someone of substance and weeding out the losers.

— Back to Start

Dear Back,

For decades there has been an organization called Parents Without Partners, with chapters throughout the country. Open your phone book and see if there’s a chapter nearby (I know there’s one in the Providence area). Since your role as a parent is of paramount importance to you, meeting someone with similar priorities might be a good idea. It’s not a dating service, but it is a good start.

Many organizations are oriented toward single parents (the phone book and Internet can be valuable sources for finding them) and families. Look for opportunities to do things with your son that involve other parents with children around his age. At least some of those you’ll meet will be single, and even those who are married might have friends whom they could recommend. The main thing you seek is someone who’ll love you and your son. There are many people who fit this description. Good luck.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net