Romantic regression

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

When I was in high school, I fell in love with this girl who was just perfect. I am 24 now and continue to be crazy about this woman. Recently, I told her how I’ve been crazy about her since high school and she told me she wasn’t interested and that she didn’t even like me. What can I do that will change this situation? What am I doing wrong?

— In Love

Dear In Love,

What you are doing wrong is not listening. She told you she didn’t like you. Do you get the message? She doesn’t like you. It’s not like the movies, where this presages a budding romance. It’s real life, where, generally, "I don’t like you" tends to mean, "I don’t like you." Stop obsessing about this woman. It sounds as if your sense of her isn’t necessarily based in reality. The reality is that you found her attractive. She, however, is not attracted to you. So move on, and stop thinking and hoping about this woman. There are others who you’ve no doubt overlooked because of your fixation on your high school heartthrob. So fugedabboutit and open your eyes.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend has a couple of cats, and unfortunately, I am allergic to cats. I’m concerned about going over there and breaking into fits of sneezing, so I don’t go to his place except for very short times. He is somewhat unhappy about how I always beg off going to his place to hang out, and I’m running out of excuses. What can I do about this?

— Lynnie

Dear Lynnie,

I assume from your letter you haven’t yet told him that you’re allergic to cats. If that’s the case, you have to tell him. It is not a rejection of him or even of his cats, but a statement of fact. Explain to him how you suffer due to this allergy. That way, together, you might be able to come up with a solution to this problem. He might have to make a decision about whether to keep his cats. There really is no easy solution, but at least he’ll understand why you’re reluctant to see him at his place. If it is early in the relationship, you may not want to force him into such a decision, but you should tell him about the allergy. Good luck.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’ve been going out with a guy for the past several months and he has an annoying habit. He always carries his cell phone with him and whenever we go to a restaurant, he invariably gets a call or two. He will answer these calls and sometimes goes on at great length with the caller, leaving me to sit there twiddling my thumbs. I have not actually mentioned this to him, but I have given him looks and made other gestures that should leave no doubt about my unhappiness. So far, he hasn’t picked up on this. Should I just brazenly tell him that what he is doing is rude?

— Feeling Ignored

Dear Feeling Ignored,

Certainly, you could. The official Dr. Lovemonkey solution would be like this, however: the next time this happens and he has finished his call, excuse yourself from the table as if you were going to the bathroom. See if there is a pay phone in the restaurant (if not, ask someone there if you can use the phone). Call him on his cell, tell him you just wanted to talk to him, and it seems that this was the only way you could get his attention. Perhaps he will figure out that cell phones can be turned off.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net