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Crossing over

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m a 27-year-old woman who has been together with my girlfriend for almost a year. I just found out that about five years ago, she had a sexual relationship with a guy who we both know. She mentioned this to me only recently when we ran into the guy. She says it was pretty much a two-shot occurrence, that they’d been friends, ran into each other, had a lot to drink a couple of times, and subsequently ended up in the sack.

Our relationship has been going well, and I know that she no longer has any interest in this guy, but I feel uneasy about all of this and unsure what to say or do. I don’t know if it’s because a male was involved or something else.

— Uneasy Rider

Dear Uneasy Rider,

No need to do or say anything. This happened a long time ago, your relationship sounds good, and most everyone has a past. Sometimes there are indiscretions, sometimes there are false moves, and sometimes there are confusions or uncertainties as to sexual identity. The heading for this episode from the past doesn’t much matter. The fact is that your girlfriend feels honest and secure enough with you to share this information. That would indicate to Dr. Lovemonkey that your relationship is open and strong. So just forget about the recent revelations, because it sounds like your girlfriend already has.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I had to laugh recently when I saw a letter in another advice column about appropriate clothing for younger teenage girls. The letter writer, who had a young teenage daughter, was complaining about how difficult it is to find clothing considered acceptable under her school’s dress code.

Maybe the only store that sells clothing for adolescent girls in this woman’s town in Strippers ’R Us, or perhaps Pat Robertson or Mullah Omar runs her daughter’s school and the dress code calls for total head-to-toe coverage. Personally, I’ve had no trouble finding appropriate clothing for my teenage daughter. Who are these people and where do they live?

— Amazed

Dear Amazed,

Since the letter you describe wasn’t sent to Dr. Lovemonkey, I can’t tell you who these people are or where they dwell. I tend to think you may have a valid point. If one were living in a town with few options for buying clothing for adolescents, it would stand to reason that the racier stuff would be unavailable.

More likely, the woman’s frustration is that the clothing favored by her daughter and her friends is the skimpy, "I am hooker, hear me roar" variety. Dr. Lovemonkey agrees that the exposed bellybutton-tank top-and-jeans-designed-to-reveal rear-crackage-look is exceedingly inappropriate for junior high school girls. However, parents have been complaining about what their kids wear for at least the past 75 years. You can expect the next fashion trends to be just as ridiculous as the current ones.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

My boyfriend has recently become a convert to Southern rock — Lynyrd Skynyrd, the Allman Brothers, etc. — and I find that this music really kind of sucks. I’ve told him this, but he just laughs and says, "To each his own." How can I get him to understand that this music can only lead to him eventually wearing a mullet, riding around in a pickup truck, and joining the NRA?

— Concerned

Dear Concerned,

Perhaps music is a very big part of you and your boyfriend’s lives, and if so, you’ll have to work this out together. On the other hand, the currently available scientific evidence indicates no direct linkage between listening to Southern rock and the acquisition of a mullet, pickup truck, or NRA membership.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net