E-Mail This Article to a Friend

Something different

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I am a divorced mother who is planning a birthday party for my only child. She is five years old. She has gotten plenty of toys over the years, but I am keen on her reading. Of course, I’ve given her books, but I would like the party guests to give her books, too. Without seeming pushy or demanding, I’m trying to think of a way to request books as gifts. Do you have any ideas on how I can do this?

— Jane

Dear Jane,

Well, this certainly isn’t your usual Dr. Lovemonkey question, but let’s see if this can work. Why not? When you send out invitations, inform the recipients this is a theme party and that the theme is "children’s literature." Perhaps you could invite someone to read a book. Let the invitees know that this is happening. This should offer enough hints to the parents of the young guests. I don’t know if it will work, but it’s worth a try. Good luck.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I’m very interested in this woman, but I can’t tell for sure if she is interested in me. Because of the circles we circulate in (artistic and bohemian), there is a definite possibility that she is gay. My sense is that it would be rather gauche to make any sort of overt move toward her if this is the case. I just don’t know, and I’m wondering, is there a way I can ask her about her sexual orientation without seeming to be an asshole?

— Trying To Be Thoughtful

Dear Trying,

No, I don’t think that there is a comfortable way to inquire about another person’s sexual orientation. You have to be a good observer and see what you can figure out. Let her know, in the most subtle way possible, that you find her interesting and attractive, and see how she reacts. Hey, she might be hetero, but not interested in you, and that would amount to the same thing, right? So, assume nothing and just make your interest known without being too overt about it. Watch for her signals, and she will either let it be known that she’s interested in you or not. Stay cool.

Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,

I met this guy at the gym the other day, and he seemed really interested in me. We gabbed a lot and seemed to get on very well, but I showed up at a time when I’m not usually there the other day, and he was chatting up another woman. He saw me and acknowledged my presence, but didn’t really pay me much mind until she left. Is this guy just out prowling for whomever he can latch onto, or do you think that he’s actually interested in me? I don’t know, and I don’t want to invest a lot of time building up a relationship with someone who may be looking all over the place just for some sort of female companionship. What should I do?

— Gym Rat

Dear Gym Rat,

You might proceed with the assumption that he’s open to a number of possibilities. Since you are not already engaged in an ongoing relationship with this guy outside of being friendly with him at the gym, you can’t consider him "unfaithful" to you. If you truly find him interesting and would like to initiate something, pursue it. Suggest getting a cup of coffee. He may be worthwhile and monogamously oriented — or not — but you’ll never know unless you get to know each other a little better. Go ahead and see what happens.

Send questions and romantic quandaries to RUDYCHEEKS@prodigy.net