Gift-giving isn’t always easy when you stick to fixed categories: Dad or Mom, guy or gal, gay or straight. It helps to work from personality, not stereotype. But it also makes a difference to start with a strategy: what do you want your gift to say? Knowing the kind of message you want the gift to send can go a long way toward making sure it actually has the desired effect. The Phoenix has made your work easier, identifying gifts that express all kinds of sentiments, from the touching to the snarky.

You Are One Of My Favorite Memories

Sometimes a simple photograph just doesn’t capture an experience in a way that reveals the richness of the event and its importance to your life. To make a statement about how a particular day mattered to you or to celebrate the contribution of a person in your life, consider a shadowbox (Big Picture Framing, $29 and up). Big Picture Framing makes customized 3D boxes that hold a single object or a collage of items that tell a story.

Maybe it’s your grandmother’s wedding veil you want to preserve, or objects related to the opening of your first play. One recent shadowbox celebrated a bar mitzvah by including a family’s 100-year-old prayer book on its own shelf, a yarmulke (stuffed and mounted for depth), and a framed copy of the bar mitzvah invitation. Prices vary by design and desire, but each gift is a singular memento of a time and place.

I’ll be the wind beneath your wings

Sometimes, the people you love just need a little encouragement to reach their dreams. If you want to help someone’s dreams take flight, consider the Be a Pilot Introductory Flight Lesson (www.beapilot.com, $49). For less than 50 bucks, you give the gift of an introductory-flight certificate, which is good at 1800 flight schools nationwide. The recipient will actually get to fly a plane during that first lesson, alongside an FAA-licensed instructor. This is about half the cost of a standard flight lesson, available as part of a nonprofit program by the general-aviation industry to encourage flight. The money goes to the flight school you select, allowing it to continue providing this program. Best yet: you aren’t charged until the flight school enrolls the recipient. And you can register right up till Christmas Eve on your computer — printing out the certificate as your sweetie slumbers.

Pamper your majestic self

Give the king or queen in your life the Royal Treatment (Giuliano Day Spa, $295). Giuliano was named one of the top-30 salons in the United States and praised by SpaFinder as "elegant." Relaxed and casual, with a wide range of services spread out over 7500 square feet on Newbury Street, Giuliano offers several enticing packages, including the Royal Treatment, which will knock the socks off anyone who receives it. Over the course of three and a half hours, the recipient will enjoy a Swedish massage, spa lunch, weightless soak in a pressure-free bath, and the exotic "Rasul Signature Treatment." The Rasul ceremony involves entering a tiled steam chamber in which five types of mud are used to treat different parts of the body, with intermittent sprays of aromatically infused steam, followed by a brief tropical rain shower. This ritual is purportedly based on the traditions of ancient royalty, but it may lead to role reversal in modern times: the recipient is sure to be your loyal subject afterward.

You need all the luck you can get

If the coming year is going to be a biggie for someone you love — a new job, home, or project — give him or her an elegant, simple symbol of good luck, a Vietnamese river rock (Ten Thousand Villages, $7). These glossy stones feature an Asian symbol of good fortune, a gold fish. Each stone was plucked from a river in Vietnam, then polished with four coats of black lacquer in a Ho Chi Minh craft shop, before a delicate foil cutting of goldfish was applied and sealed into place with clear lacquer. The Chinese word for goldfish includes the character for "abundance," so it has come to symbolize wishes for good fortune — something your recipient is sure to appreciate.

Patience is a virtue

You just can’t hurry a bonsai tree (Bonsai Designs, $50 and up). That’s a major reason why receiving one is such a memorable experience — you know that years went into shaping it into the angular beauty you see before you. In Copley Place, a verdant-looking shop has opened that specializes in bonsai trees. Cypress, juniper, fig, snow rose, banyan, and ficus are among the plants that have received the traditional bonsai treatment, some potted and others in stone fountain bases. Ranging in price from $50 to $400, bonsais can be found for every budget, and each tree comes with a tag indicating how old it is and how long it’s been bonsai trained. (For instance, one $300 tree recently on display had been groomed for 15 years.) Especially for people always on the go, this gift encourages contemplation of the kind of beauty that comes from taking your time.

Embrace your inner geek

For some, their love of role-playing games, fantasy movies, and Star Trek spin-offs can be a source of shame, a stereotype that pegs them all too easily. For others, it provides identity and community. You can help your Renaissance Faire–goer embrace his or her inner geek with a solid-pewter Lord of the Rings chess set (Boston Pewter, $795), whose pieces include elves, hobbits, and monsters. The good side is pure pewter; the bad side is pewter plated in copper. The cost is whopping, but it’s a distinctive gift and real vote of confidence for the would-be hobbit in your life.

You’re only a kid once — enjoy it!

Kids’ music can get a little preachy, stuffed with lessons about perseverance and empowerment, as if meant to educate first and entertain second. Not so the music of Ben Rudnick & Friends (Boing!, $15.98). This bluegrassy outfit, winner of a Parents’ Choice award, makes upbeat, happy music for kids. Their album Emily Songs began as a batch of ditties written with Rudnick’s four-year-old daughter, and the numbers zip along through topics like being a cowgirl and favorite colors. And there’s a hidden bonus for adults who find themselves singing along: you can retain your cool cred, because the "friends" from the album’s title are Jeff Bird of the Cowboy Junkies and John Zevos of Lichen.

Wild thing, you make my heart sing

For the rugged mountain man in your life, let him know you think he’s a hero when you give him a copy of Wild Stories: The Best of Men’s Journal (Globe Corner Bookstore, $19.96–$24.95). Celebrating 10 years of masculine adventures, this collection includes Sebastian Junger’s account of kidnapping in Kashmir and P.J. O’Rourke’s road trip in India. Aside from getting hooked on the drama — there’s an account of the wreck of the Kursk submarine — your man will feel impressed that he comes to mind when you think of these rough-and-tough dudes. And right now it’s a featured selection at Globe Corner Bookstore, which means it’s 20 percent off.

Waste not, want not

Those practical Swiss have done it again, making life more efficient in the most stylish way. The process of making kirsch, the cherry liqueur, yields thousands upon thousands of cherrystones (that’s pits to you and me) as a byproduct. Some clever rascal realized that properly cleaned and dried off, the little orbs make good conduits for heat. (One can only imagine how this discovery occurred.) This natural technology is at the literal core of the Stay-Warm Cherrystone Pillow (Hartnett’s, $27), which contains 1.5 liters of cherrystones in a smooth cotton pouch. Put the pillow in the microwave for three minutes, or a conventional oven for 15, and it acts like a liquid-free hot-water bottle. Your favorite pragmatist can easily mold it to caress whatever body part hurts — and say a little thanks to the Swiss at the same time.

You need to get out more

For the person in your life who spends too much time at home on the couch clicking from channel to channel, you might just need to do an intervention. So why not ease him or her into the world of socializing with a Loews Blast Pack (Loews theaters or www.enjoytheshow.com, $25)? You get a matinee ticket, coupons for snacks or beverages, and $20 worth of Loews cash for the recipient to use however he or she prefers (whether on admission or concessions). Less tangible but even more enticing, each recipient gets one entry in a drawing to win a Loews Seasons Pass for an entire year of free movies (12 months during which you get the couch back!). Of course, there’s no guaranteeing your favorite La-Z-Boy hero will actually maintain an interest in regularly leaving the house, but you can always buy another Blast Pack next year.

Slow down, Mom, you move too fast

Encourage your busy mom to sleep in for a change and then lounge around afterwards. She’ll look and feel fabulous in a Crabtree & Evelyn bathrobe (Clothware, $102–$122). At Clothware, you have your choice of super-soft polyester/viscose robes in solid colors, with contrasting trim on the lapels, or hearty 100 percent cotton robes with more-uniform cloth. The color options vary from pastels (mint, lavender, melon) to darker hues (pine and eggplant). All the robes are calf-length, belted, and cuffed. Mom will feel so at home in her new robe, you may never be able to get her back on schedule!

If you’re going to smoke, do it in style

Have you noticed lately that, even as smoking prohibitions increase, more people are smoking again? Not chain-smoking, mind you, but social smoking — the kind of thing people do after a meal or during a cocktail party. And "you know those things will kill ya" just falls on deaf ears. If you can’t beat ’em, at least help ’em smoke in high style, with a Calibiri Fero V cigarette lighter (Boston Engraving, $39.95–$49.95). These incredibly sleek babies have a wind-resistant butane flame and are easy to use with one hand, without a rub-wheel. They’re as slender as lipsticks and feature an easy-flip top. And since they’re sold at Boston Engraving, you can have them beautifully personalized.

You give me the warm fuzzies

Scarves should be cuddly and soft, not woolly and abrasive. In winter, the last thing you need is a piece of outerwear that irritates instead of cocoons. The fluffy black "vixen" scarf by Wooden Ships (JasmineSola, $28) belies its aggressive name and fairly begs to be stroked and petted. Handmade in Indonesia, it’s a long band of raggedy polyacrylic material with furry fingers of fringe running the length of either side. It feels like a kitty and looks like a cousin to the Cookie Monster — how can you possibly resist?

You’re a little beast!

Children’s backpacks need not replicate the utilitarian feel of most adult packs. Calliope stocks five amusing alternatives to the kind of thing mountaineers hoist. Each Kidorable animal knapsack (Calliope, $24) comes in colorful shiny plastic in the shape of a critter. Ladybug, bee, and frog models feature googly eyes at the top of the pack; the cow and kitty have feet (er, hooves and paws) dangling off the underside. Each knapsack has several compartments, and each also includes a miniature stuffed-plastic-toy version of the knapsack animal. Less common than Hello Kitty or SpongeBob SquarePants, the bags capture the spirit of both and are sure to delight your imaginative child.

You shine

For the Wallpaper magazine devotee, the glamourpuss who lights up a room and whose own rooms fairly glow with sophistication, consider a David D’Imperio Lily Lamp (Modern Design Furnishings, $370). They’re not cheap, but they’re distinctly tasteful and modern all at once. Extending from slender stems, white glass petals hide the small light bulbs. The stems reach down to a wall mount that can be customized to fit your own wiring. The design, by artist D’Imperio, is sleek and stylish, as different from a Tiffany lamp as a calla lily is from a peony — in other words, ideal for your sleekest, most stylish friends.

Right on!

Though Gen Y wasn’t even born in the ’70s, kids today eat up icons of those looser, groovier times. Go to an all-ages show at Avalon and you could practically film an Eight Is Enough episode, what with all the colored sneakers, ring-collared T-shirts, and decals. So pick up one of a series of right-on ’70s T-shirts (Urban Outfitters, $24) featuring decals and prints from the Shaft era. sweet, play, shonuf, and superfly are some of the slogans emblazoning the Five Crown T-shirts in oranges, browns, and powder blues. At a glance, it’s clear that these shirts are the John Travolta of fashion: Welcome Back, Kotter style for kids raised on Pulp Fiction.

You drive me bananas

Paul Frank’s whimsical monkey design has gone from the province of a devoted coterie to the craze of the alterna set in the last year or two. Now you can pick up a Frank offering your friends aren’t likely to have: the Paul Frank monkey face rug (Hootenanny, $43). Roughly three feet by three feet, in the shape of the monkey’s head, the woven rug is both enigmatic and sturdy, a playful gift for someone you like — or a subtle slam for someone you merely tolerate.

You feed me right

For those who can hardly boil water, the pleasure taken in the handiwork of a good cook knows no bounds. One way to show your appreciation is to give a gift that will be used again and again in the preparation, but isn’t just a utilitarian tool. Bamboo cutting boards (Selletto, $33.50 and up) are things of beauty, as decorative as they are functional. The variations in color of cut-and-pressed bamboo wood make for elegant, dramatic patterns. These beauties come in narrow-rectangle, large-rectangle, round, and square shapes to further fit the workspace or aesthetic of the cook who’s found the way to your heart.

You are more than meets the eye

At first glance, the framed works by artist Julie Anne (Harvard Collection, $40–$300) seem to be textured prints of repeated patterns and colors. Up closer, one sees that these are not just swaths of color, but intricately overlaid individual flowers. Dozens of the same kind of bud are meticulously laid in overlapping rows, their stamens pressed along with their petals, yielding these floral artworks that are lush sheets of color — purple, pink, orange, or red, depending on the flower. Matted, framed under glass, and signed, they make a beautiful gift and are, by their very nature, as singular as the recipient.

You’ve got baggage

At Black Ink in Harvard Square, the aesthetic tends toward the cute or toy-like. But one set of items with slightly more bite is the line of tarot-card-fronted Queen Bee messenger bags (Black Ink, $64). With front and interior pockets, each bag has ample room for someone’s compartmentalized life, and a shoulder strap for easy carrying. And the best part is giving someone a bag with an inherent message found in the symbolism of the tarot card that adorns it. Particularly pointed is the "El Diablo" bag with a laughing Satan, but you could also make a statement with the spider-and-web bag. You’ll just have to see them for yourself to know which sends your message loudest and clearest.

I wanna rock you like a hurricane

For the Le Tigre fan in your life, you’re just not gonna shop at Victoria’s Secret. You want a sexy gift that’s as kick-ass as she is. So pick up a pair of rock-star panties (Hi-Fi Records, $12). Featuring images of legends such as Bowie, Blondie, Joey Ramone, and the Clash, all hand silk-screened by local artist Buick, the panties come in thong, bikini, and bloomer variations. If you’re lucky, this is a gift you’ll get to unwrap again and again.

You spin me right round

You want to make really beautiful music? Give the vinyl fan in your life this floor-model Victor record player (Museum Company, $399). Modeled after the old record cabinets, it has a top lid that opens to reveal a turntable with settings for both 33 1/2 and 45. Inside the lower case of the wood cabinet, a CD player and radio afford additional listening choices. The cabinet stands more than three feet high on gracefully curved legs. It’s a romantic and impressive way to start things spinning.

If you want to buy David Valdes Greenwood a gift, he can be reached at mambobean@aol.com