E-Mail This Article to a Friend How much more can we take? First Ronald Reagan and now this BY BARRY CRIMMINS

POPE JOHN PAUL II is dead. My goodness, but I’m getting old. This is the third pope who’s passed away since I became a lapsed Catholic. Time flies when you no longer live your life holding to the beliefs of a church based on fear and real estate.

I don’t have much to say about my former church except: never leave your children in its care. NEVER. (Or in the care of the Boy Scouts, but that’s a different essay — though only slightly.) Other than that, whether or not you subscribe to the Roman Catholic Church’s superstitions is between you and, well ... whomever or whatever you turn to when you subscribe to superstitions.

Contrary to what endless news reports and alleged think pieces might lead us to believe, what happens at the Vatican or to its primary resident is of only marginal significance to most of us. Except, of course, when the corporate media decide we need round-the-clock coverage of the Holy See. Such focus reduces their reporting of other crucial stories, leaving us poorly informed about Michael Jackson’s trial, the latest ugliness between the Schindlers and the Schiavos, and rumors of a possible new reality show for Robert Blake.

That said, the pope’s passing is newsworthy and merits remembrance. So I’ll do my best to recall the Polish pontiff with at least some generosity. Far be it from me to damn a pope with faint praise, particularly at a moment like this. Here’s what I liked about the guy: John Paul II spoke out against the war in Iraq and the death penalty. My praise for anyone who used a worldwide pulpit to voice those views is anything but faint.

But considering the damage his church has done with its misogynistic, homophobic, repressive edicts on human sexuality, this allegedly great modern pope must be held accountable for failing to reform his church in crucial areas. JP II instructed millions of people to hate themselves for being sexual beings. All the while, his operatives used this repressive teaching to keep serial human-rights offenses against children as quiet as a Vatican City crowd awaiting word of a pope’s death. This repressive and backward teaching helped bridge an ancient gap between American evangelical Catholic-haters and Rome. Sometimes you can judge a man by the enemies he loses.

As backward as John Paul II was, it’s scary to think that perhaps the American religious right might have some influence on the College of Cardinals as they select a new pope. Because as horrible as Richard Nixon and Ronald Reagan and GHW Bush were, they did only preliminary dredging for the new lows to which George W. Bush has sunk. Imagine if W. gets an anti-choice, misogynist, homophobic, pro-death-penalty, pro-war pontiff to work with. The Swiss Guard will be deployed to Baghdad to fill the gaping chasm left by Costa Rica’s departure.

That’s enough to make anyone start praying.

Pope John Paul II is dead. Long live Pope George Ringo!

Barry Crimmins is the author of Never Shake Hands with a War Criminal (Seven Stories Press). He can be reached at bfcrim@barrycrimmins.com