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In like Quinn
With his no-punches-pulled show and stand-up tour, veteran comedian Colin Quinn has his story, and he’s sticking to it
BY TAMARA WIEDER

COLIN QUINN KNOWS that somewhere in this introduction will come the words "best-known for his work on Saturday Night Live." And he knows that the SNL work singled out will be his stint behind the anchor desk on the show’s "Weekend Update." After all, it’s how practically every morsel of press he’s ever received has described him.

But Quinn, for his part, has other accomplishments for which he’d prefer to be best-known. For starters, there’s his stand-up comedy, which he’s been doing for nearly two decades. There was his all-too-brief NBC program, The Colin Quinn Show. His role on MTV’s Remote Control. His writing work on In Living Color. His one-man Broadway show, Colin Quinn: An Irish Wake. And now there’s Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn, a Politically Incorrect–style talk show, now in its second season on Comedy Central, featuring a roundtable of comics alternately wisecracking, insulting each other, and musing on politics and pop culture.

Still, Colin Quinn knows it’ll be said: he’s the comic best-known for his work on Saturday Night Live.

Q: Tell me about Tough Crowd — how it’s going, where the idea came from.

A: It’s going good. It came out of the idea that a lot of people have, which is whenever you see a group of people sitting around talking, whatever the job is, it’s always like, "Oh, man, I wish we could do that on camera — that’s funny. That’s different." People are being un-self-conscious, they’re not trying to be funny. Like if you sit around with friends in your industry, or if you guys go out to a bar, or any industry. But because we’re comedians, we figure, well, we’re used to performing in front of people; we should be able to pull this shit off.

Q: How big an influence was Politically Incorrect?

A: Obviously, it’s a similar format in some ways. So it’s been influenced. That was the first type show like this, at least that I can think of. But that came off The McLaughlin Group, too. So this is just all comedians, is the difference.

Q: How do you think the fact that it’s all comedians affects the tone of the show?

A: We don’t think we’re intellectuals. And I think that we call each other on it, if somebody tries to say something too sincere or "it’s all about the children" or something. I think there’s less bullshit, because comedians, because we perform every night in front of the public, we’re not so likely to be nervous and pander. And if we do pander, God forbid, usually one of our friends [calls us on it].

Q: Have you ever had to tell someone they’re just not funny enough to be on the show?

A: No.

Q: Would you ever?

A: No. I’d lie.

Q: You don’t think aspiring comedians need to know if they’re not very funny?

A: I mean, I always tell young comedians what I think is wrong with their act. But as far as telling somebody that they’re not funny, it’s not necessarily constructive criticism that they need to hear from me. Because it is subjective, and because a lot of people thought I wasn’t funny. They still do, I’m sure. So you can’t really say that. But I’ll often tell comedians, "Listen, here’s what I think you’re doing," or if I just see a guy in a club, a young guy, I’ll be like, "Why do you do this? Why do you do that? Why are you exploring stuff that’s already been beaten into the ground, and you’re not talking about stuff that would be singular to you? You’re going against everything that you should be doing." And they can either say, "That guy’s an asshole," or they can listen to me. But I say it with the best of intentions.

Q: Have you seen comedians improve after you’ve talked to them about their work?

A: I feel like I have. Ultimately, I do think they improve when somebody who’s been in the business a long time gets really honest with them and means it in a non-competitive or non-negative way. If you’re just saying, "Look, I’m telling you, I’ve done this stuff, I know what you’re doing, and why don’t you really work on getting a little into it, and not just sit around trying to get laughs off dick jokes."

Q: Have you had a favorite guest on Tough Crowd?

A: George Carlin was a great thing for me, because he’s just a part of my whole family and childhood; we worshipped George Carlin. So that was very important to me. And Seinfeld coming on was really amazing to me. Those kinds of things really get me, you know?

Q: Do you have a wish list of people you want to have on the show?

A: Obviously Richard Pryor would be great, but he’s not in good health and can’t leave LA. He would be the ultimate.

Q: In your comedy, is anything off-limits?

A: No. I feel like everybody pretends that certain things are shocking when they’re not. I feel like people try to act like, "Oh, you can’t say anything about Bush." What? When was that? I’ve been in comedy since 9/11, all I hear is Bush jokes. I don’t know what people think is off-limits, except being honest, especially racially, and that’s never been off-limits on our show, obviously. We live for that one.

Q: Why is that?

A: Because it’s off-limits. Because people aren’t supposed to talk about it. And because I always feel like, from my point of view, which is being white, I feel like if I didn’t extend to black people the same standards that I extend to white people, that’s racist. Like if I don’t say rap is crazy and violent, that’s disrespectful to black people. So it’s saying what, that that’s okay, that’s how they do things? No. I mean, they’re the ones who end up getting shot. Which is more racist, to say, "Oh, that’s part of the culture"? I mean, I know black culture; it’s not part of the culture from what I’ve ever seen. There’s a lot of good things in the culture; it’s not shooting people. I just feel like it’s disrespectful to act like there’s different standards for different humans in this way. It’s just not right. And I’ve found that most black people that I meet on the street, I would say almost all of them, they love the fact that we talk about race honestly. They don’t want to hear people saying the party line.

Q: Or tiptoeing around it.

A: Or tiptoeing around it. If something pisses you off and you think it’s black, instead of saying, "It’s not a black thing," say whatever you want! It’s ridiculous how people are just so ... their sensitivity is bullshit, you know? And I think it’s an illusion, that black people can’t take criticism or whatever. [I grew up] in Brooklyn, in a very mixed area, which is part of the reason that I feel like every person can take it and dish it out. They don’t want to be ignored or treated differently. And, half my family’s black now. My sister and my brother are both married to black people, so all my nieces and nephews are half-Irish, half-black. And they don’t give a damn what I think. They want to think what they want to think. The race thing is about to end anyway, because everybody’s so mixed. So I just feel it’s better to honestly say what’s going on, or what you think is going on, without worrying about if people think you’re racist. I feel like it’s insincere.

Q: I read that you got into comedy because you’d quit drinking and you needed something to fill your time. Do you think you ever would’ve become a comedian if you hadn’t quit drinking?

A: I wouldn’t have become anything if I hadn’t quit drinking. I would’ve become dead, probably. I was completely over the top. And even if I’d been able to drink socially, I wonder if I would’ve become a comedian, because I did it more out of desperation. So I probably wouldn’t have, no.

Q: How’s the comedy scene changed since you started out?

A: It’s changed in that when I started out, it was more of an innocent time. Everybody thought, oh yeah, everybody’s gonna make it, and blah blah blah. It’s tougher now for the comedians coming out, because you know, more material’s been used. For them, they’ve got a lot more hurdles to jump over to get to a certain place. It takes a lot more work. And some of them do it and some of them don’t. So it’s changed in that way. The good thing about it is, if you’re good, if you’re original and good, your opportunities can come. Like, in my day you could get away with making a living doing comedy being good, okay. Now you’ve got to really bring it.

Q: What’s the camaraderie like between comedians now?

A: Some people say it’s all competition and it’s evil; some people say it’s all good. I think it’s like any other job: some bad-mouthing goes on, of course, and jealousy, like any other job. We’re all human beings, and you get jealous, and you get angry when someone you think doesn’t deserve something gets something.

Q: How are Boston audiences for you?

A: I love Boston audiences.

Q: Are you just saying that?

A: No! Who would be better for me? They all think I’m from Boston. Everyone thinks I’m from Boston. Even New York people. People who’ve known me for like, 12 years.

Q: Why do they think that?

A: Because I’m Irish and I’m loud.

Q: Therefore ...

A: Yeah. But Boston’s great for me. It’s close enough to my mentality. Because it’s an Irish influence, I guess, they really are into the sarcasm and the kind of jaded ... I don’t know what the hell it is, exactly, with the Irish. It’s just that whole kind of fatalistic attitude that’s better for me, because I don’t feel the pressure to try to explain to them why I’m such a sarcastic, miserable bastard. I feel like they assume you are one.

Q: Do you have a least favorite city to do stand-up in?

A: Honestly, I don’t always love doing it in LA. Because it’s such an industry-type town; you don’t know if you’re doing bad or good, because they approve everything. They’re just like, "Hey, you’re doing your thing up there — good for you!" And it’s like, no, that’s not what comedy is. It’s got to be judgmental. So LA is probably my least favorite. Like, if I was working on my act, I would not want to stay in LA very long, because you don’t trust whether you’re saying funny things or not.

Q: Articles about you always say that you’re best-known for your work on Saturday Night Live. Is that what you want to be best-known for?

A: No. I’d rather be best-known just for stand-up.

Q: What happened with The Colin Quinn Show?

A: Well, we did three episodes, and they just didn’t pick it up. People were going crazy over it. But I guess ultimately they felt like this show was too dangerous for the average audiences. Or who knows what the hell they thought — they never gave me a straight answer, it’s just, "Hey man, we can’t pick it up." My personal opinion is that they were scared of where it was going to go, and they probably should’ve been, because it was going to go there. I thought it was a shame that they don’t do stuff like that, especially because they’re always complaining about no programming that’s exciting and different, and everybody was coming up to these networks, I mean, I was talking to all their assistants and stuff, and they said on the street, everywhere, people were telling them, all their phone calls were like, "That’s the most exciting new show since SNL first came on. It’s different, it’s honest, it’s funny." And they still didn’t pick it up, which to me is a little bit of a disgrace. And it’s a disgrace for them; I mean, they’re the ones who claim they want this stuff, but apparently they really do want to pacify people. It’s like they’re feeding into all the things people accuse them of, then: pacifying for commercials. Judging from what that show was, that seemed to be the truth. Of course, biased opinion that I have, because it was my show, but if that’s the truth, it’s too bad for them.

Q: What’s the funniest reality show these days?

A: I think the funniest is probably the Donald Trump one [The Apprentice], because there’s something at stake. Real money, and you see how people get, and your heart starts to beat. The stakes are higher, so I think it’s funnier. Plus he seems slightly insane. And also what Puffy was doing, that Making the Band, and all the fucking homeboys from the ’hood were fighting each other. Every episode: "Step out!" "Yo, mofo!" And then Puffy comes in: "Y’all are disappointing me. You gotta leave that in the street." So that was a good one. That used to make me laugh.

Q: What would you be doing now if you hadn’t become a comedian?

A: I don’t even have any idea. I mean, there’s nothing else. I can’t imagine. I feel like I was born to do comedy and that was it. I don’t know what I’d be doing. Something where you can maybe meet a lot of different people, or be around a lot of different people, like a serial killer or a cop. Or, like, a serial-killer tracker — I always wanted to do that. Like one of those Quantico guys. That to me would be kind of cool, like going inside other people’s minds and their lives and trying to figure out what they’re up to and what they did.

Q: A profiler.

A: Yeah, profiling. I love that.

Q: Well, if the comedy thing ever slows down ...

A: Yeah, maybe I can start one of those agencies.

Q: Have you ever laughed so hard you wet your pants?

A: No. I think that’s more of a girl thing. I think girls pee their pants.

Q: Why is that?

A: I don’t know. I guess it’s something structural. Girls pee their pants a lot, but guys don’t. But then when we get older we do, so don’t worry.

Q: Is that the most flattering thing someone could say to you, that you made them laugh so hard they wet their pants?

A: Yeah. It’s really up there. When girls say that, I’m always like, "That’s great! That’s cool!"

Colin Quinn performs at the Comedy Connection, in Boston, on January 30 and 31, at 8 and 10:15 p.m. Call (617) 248-9700. Tamara Wieder can be reached at twieder[a]phx.com


Issue Date: January 23 - 29, 2004
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