TO CELEBRATE THE release of Bruce Springsteen’s The Rising CD, the first that the Boss has recorded with the inimitable E Street Band since 1987, let’s take a look at some ballpark figures around the wide, wide world of sports as they pertain to some of the past work of Freehold, New Jersey’s favorite son.

"Prove It All Night" — To recently acquired Celtics’ forward/center Vin Baker. Has any Celtic in recent years been under as much scrutiny and subject to such speculation as the 30-year-old underachiever from Connecticut? The Green certainly believe that a change of venue will rejuvenate the University of Hartford alum, whose career seemed to have peaked about five years ago when he averaged 21 points a game in consecutive seasons for Milwaukee. Nonetheless, his past four seasons in Seattle saw a marked downturn in production despite the fact that he secured one of the NBA’s "maximum" contracts (seven years, $80+ million) in 1999. Seattle was desperate to rid themselves of Baker’s contract, since 6'11" guys averaging 14 points and six and a half rebounds a game shouldn’t be making that kind of moolah. The Sonics found an interested party in Boston, and the Celtics traded for him, believing that a return to the East Coast, nearer to Baker’s family and friends in the Nutmeg State, could resurrect the skills that made him a four-time All-Star (most recently in 1998).

This trade wouldn’t have garnered as much attention during the Pitino era, because the team was mired in mediocrity and mismanagement. Now it is different, because the Celtics are a team that reached the Eastern Conference Finals this past season, and you usually don’t tinker with success — particularly when the team seems to be on the upswing after a decade-long fling with the Dark Side. Paul Gaston, the Celtics’ owner, seemed to have turned a deaf ear to those team officials who instead wanted to re-sign Rodney Rodgers (a vital cog in this past season’s success), because the subsequent roster price tag would kick in an NBA-mandated luxury tax. With this trade, the Celtics actually saved $1 million and avoided the tax (for now), but are now faced with three roster players making maximum money, no proven point guard, and a very shallow bench. Yes, Mr. Vin Baker, you will be in the spotlight every night this season, and I am hopeful that I am wrong about my "leopards don’t change their spots" theory, and that in the past five years you’ve merely been wearing a "Brilliant Disguise." Perhaps a change in scenery closer to "Your Hometown" will be just what you need to reclaim your past "Glory Days," but if you can’t help return Boston’s proud NBA franchise to "The Promised Land," the Celts will be taking that "Downbound Train" quickly enough, and you might find yourself stuck "Working on the Highway" by the time you’re 40.

"Roll of the Dice" — To Red Sox management, who pulled the trigger on a couple of nifty deals in the past week to upgrade the club. As long as there is no long-term labor stoppage and Cliff Floyd can be re-signed during the off-season, the acquisition of the Expos outfielder looks like a steal, particularly since — like the Ugueth Urbina signing last season — it was accomplished by pulling the rug out from under the pinstripers. Yes, after all the good will following the deals, Thursday night’s 19-7 thrashing to the Texas Rangers seems contradictory, but remember two things: the Rangers had throttled the Yankees by a similar score just the night before, and the blame for the Sox’ loss in Arlington can be pinned on just two guys: pitchers John Burkett (eight earned runs in just over an inning) and Frank Castillo (10 earned runs in just under four innings). The rest of the team —weary from a brutal overnight trip from Southern Cal — still played hard, scored seven runs, and didn’t commit any errors in the field. The current roster now gives Red Sox fans everywhere "Reason to Believe," and the belief that this band of brothers won’t mail it in this September, but instead will offer no retreat, and "No Surrender" the rest of the way in chasing the "Land of Hope and Dreams." But the best part of this whole week’s worth of Sox action is the dispatching of the team’s ...

" Darkness at the Edge of Town " — Finally. Finally, we are rid of that lunkhead Jose Offerman. I had a bad feeling almost immediately after Offerman’s signing back in 1999 by Dan Duquette, when actor Samuel L. Jackson, MCing the ESPY Awards on ESPN that off-season, asked the assembled audience (in effect), "Who in their right mind offers Jose Offerman $26 million for four years?" It got a smattering of chuckles, but the last guffaw has been on Sox fans the past four years, as this unlikable twit has given the Sox Faithful seasons of .294, .255, .267, and this year, .232. The guy who supplied Kansas City with 45 stolen bases in his last season there gave the Sox a total of 31 in four years. And let’s not forget his shabby work at second base, his refusal to speak with the media, and, most recently, his costly miscues regarding an ill-advised ninth-inning stolen-base attempt in NY, forgetting how many outs there were in a loss to Baltimore a week ago, and refusing to pinch-run in a critical situation in Anaheim on Wednesday. Oh, I could go on and on about how, as a baseball fan, I despised this man’s performance and his lack of explanation or apology for it, but on the heels of his expletive-laced tirade when he was given his release by the team on Thursday, I will just say this to you, Mr. Jose Offerman: I know "It’s Hard to Be a Saint in the City," but you have a whole lotta "Growin’ Up" to do if you don’t understand why you were sent packing. Perhaps if you had just played with a bit more of a "Hungry Heart," and maybe even displayed a " Human Touch, " fans might, just might have embraced you and forgiven your transgressions. Instead, you were incompetent, a coward, a quitter, and a pouter, and there is no place on this Red Sox team for men with those qualities. Head back to your "Mansion on the Hill" and see if there’s anything noteworthy on those "57 Channels."

"Tenth Avenue Freeze-Out" — Speaking of men of questionable character, when is this clown John-Henry Williams going to allow his father’s remains to be properly disposed of and let the Splendid Splinter become another "Spirit in the Night"? I know this story has become very old news, but there still seems no end in sight, and there are just too many despicable aspects to this tale that need to be addressed so that justice can be done. Point one: Why is it that not one of Teddy Ballgame’s close friends was aware of his revised funeral plans? There were reportedly quite a few of his old pals that stayed in touch with him regularly, but he never mentioned his intentions of being cryogenically frozen with any of them? Not once? Point two: Why did he sign the reported "agreement" to be frozen as "Ted Williams" (which was his standard autograph style) rather than "Theodore Williams," as he reportedly always did for legal documents? Perhaps because he believed he was signing something else? No, his loyal and trusted son wouldn’t do anything like that, would he? Finally, point three: as attorney Harry Mannion has pointed out several times on WBZ, why wasn’t the will changed to reflect Ted’s alleged change of heart? And if the oil-stained "cocktail napkin" revision was indeed what #9 wanted, why didn’t the "document" state that this decision superseded the terms laid out in the will? I just have to believe that John-Henry Williams is evil personified, a greedy huckster who with his sister has taken advantage of his father’s notoriety, wealth, and condition to better himself, and in the process has forever tarnished the old man’s legacy. Too bad Ted realized too late that the "Ties That Bind" were being woven by a two-bit con man from the "Badlands," and that his ultimate fate as a human Popsicle would be "The Price You Pay" for the faith and trust he put in his son, rather than what should have been his "Beautiful Reward" for a life and career well-struck.

Finally to the other two Boston teams: to the Patriots, if you don’t find yourselves " Blinded by the Light " reflecting off that Lombardi Trophy, there’s a good chance that come January you’ll again prove yourselves to be " Tougher Than the Rest. " And to the Bruins: A bounty of choices (all from The Rising), including "Waitin’ on a Sunny Day," "Worlds Apart," "My City in Ruins," or even "Countin’ on a Miracle." Yep, this off-season’s brought " One Step Up " and two steps back for the once-mighty franchise, as the team this season may find itself crooning to its fans, " If I Should Fall Behind [in the standings], Wait for Me."

In the meantime, we still live in "Lucky Town," the USA’s best sports city, and if we continue to show a little faith, there’s magic in the night.

Sporting Eye runs Mondays and Fridays at BostonPhoenix.com, and Christopher Young can be reached at cyoung[a]phx.com