RadioShack assures me that if I’ve got questions, it’s got answers. Unfortunately, the only answers it can provide involve non-polar coaxial cables and PC-mount capacitors. I’ve got questions, indeed, regarding the local sports scene, and I’m lookin’ for answers. Who’s got ’em?

• Why on earth is Nomar Garciaparra swinging at the first pitch all the time? Can’t someone tell him that pitchers around the American League now realize that he’s a first-pitch swinger, and throw him junk pitches? In Thursday night’s game versus Oakland, he struck out on six pitches over his first two at-bats, and the second time was more egregious because the batters before and after him in the order had walked on four pitches apiece. Yes, I know Nomar’s third in the league in doubles and RBIs, but despite the fact that he seems completely back from last season’s wrist surgery, why is his batting average 60 points lower than it was two years ago?

• When is Shea Hillenbrand going to familiarize himself with the strike zone? Yes, he’s got 17 walks this year, but so does Lou Merloni, and Framingham’s Finest has played in half the number of games that Hillenbrand has. Shea walked only 13 times in 139 games last year, which is an average of once every 10.6 games. Of his 17 walks this year, four have been intentional. For a guy who studies film prior to each game, he’s got to realize that he’s swinging at a lot of bad pitches, right?

• Am I the only one around who has serious misgivings about sending closer Urgueth Urbina out to save Game Seven of the World Series? Mariano Rivera, he ain’t, that’s for sure. Lately, I’m not even sure Ugie is Heathcliff Slocumb.

• Can a team with Willie Banks and Chris Haney in the bullpen win a world championship?

• Can you just see Manny Ramirez exiting the Ritz-Carlton, turning up Newbury Street to visit his favorite salon, and having the hairdresser talk him into the Afro-with-gold-highlights look he currently sports? He probably paid two bills for that styling, when I could have done it for five bucks with a can of gold spray paint.

• How does a team like Oakland, which has a payroll of about $39 million, compete with (much less take two out of three from) a squad like Boston that has a payroll of over $110 million? And how does that $110 million band of brothers get itself shut down for six innings by a rookie pitcher named Aaron Harang? That’s right, I said Aaron Harang, a nobody who had three career wins and an ERA of nearly four when he handcuffed the vaunted Sox offense on three hits Wednesday night.

• Has anybody ever seen Trot Nixon smile?

• Who would you rather have as your one-two punch right now, Derek Lowe and Pedro Martinez, or Randy Johnson and Curt Schilling?

• Speaking of that comparison, how is it that the Red Sox are first in the majors in hitting and third in pitching, while the Diamondbacks are seventh and eighth, respectively, yet the Snakes seem on track to return at minimum to the NLCS, while the Sox aren’t even sure of a wild-card berth right now?

• Explain this: the Montreal Expos (payroll: $38 million) and the New York Mets (payroll: $94 million) are both 57-57 in the NL East, 18 games behind the division-leading Braves. In addition, Florida, just a game behind the Expos and Mets at 56-58, has a payroll of $35 million. (By the way, this is not the time for Yankees fans to holler out, "See, having a high payroll doesn’t guarantee a championship!" Not now, Cato!)

• Are the Boston Bruins still in business? And why doesn’t Buffalo-based Bruins absentee owner Jeremy Jacobs just sell the team and buy the up-for-sale hometown Sabres instead, so he wouldn’t have to be such a despised tightwad from afar? Under my proposal, he could pinch pennies and be burned in effigy from within the same zip code!

• Anybody think that the New Jersey Nets aren’t cinches to be in the NBA Finals again, even as we sit here three months before Opening Night? And does anyone give them a chance in the Finals against the Western Conference foe of your choice? Knowing all this, can’t we skip most of the regular-season games?

• Would you agree with me if I said that the Red Sox, with the roster that they have at this point, have no excuse for not making the playoffs?

• Maybe it’s me, but I contend that major-league soccer is a mess. Our hometown Revolution continue to draw well, particularly in the new stadium, but frankly, they stink. A pre-season favorite to perhaps win their first MLS Cup, the Revs instead have gone 7-12-1 in a division where 9-10-2 is good enough for first place! Yep, every team in the East is .500 or worse, but if you play .500 ball in the Western Conference, your reward will be last place. (You’ll get nothing and like it!) Every team in that conference is 50-50 or better, and every team in the East is 50-50 or worse. Exciting business there. Is anybody following this league, and has it benefited from America’s World Cup success? I think not.

• Which is more difficult to imagine: Garciaparra in pinstripes, or Derek Jeter in a Red Sox jersey?

• Why would any team take a chance on upsetting clubhouse chemistry by adding former Sox malcontent Jose Offerman to its roster? Indeed, he apparently comes cheap, but what exactly of a positive nature does he bring to the Mariners, a team that is cruising along in the AL West? In any case, good luck, and good riddance.

• Would anyone give WBA heavyweight boxing champion John Ruiz a chance against WBC champion Lennox Lewis if they were ever to square off? Ruiz, of Chelsea, would have to wade through numerous political quagmires to get his shot against Lewis, but wouldn’t that be better than having to watch Ruiz box Evander Holyfield for a fourth time? Would people actually rather watch Lewis bust up Mike Tyson again as opposed to unifying the two belts and see if "The Quiet Man" could give Lewis a good fight? These are the depths to which professional boxing has sunk, when the only heavyweights that anyone has ever heard of are Lewis, the six-foot-five-inch Brit; Ruiz, the blue-collar bruiser who is still relatively unknown despite his WBA crown; the aging Holyfield, who is probably as well-known for his nine children born to six women — only two of whom were his (now-divorced) wives — as he is for his boxing prowess; and Tyson, the convicted felon and evil incarnate. Maybe you can throw in Kirk Johnson, Ruiz’s recently vanquished foe, but I can’t think of anyone of the male gender who would enter a ring with Johnson without wearing Teflon trunks (he was disqualified for repeated low blows in the fight with Ruiz). Perhaps Bud Selig would have better luck overseeing the sport of boxing than with the high jinks he currently oversees as the Lord of Baseball. Why not give him a shot? To the ribs ...

• Is there anybody around here who doesn’t think the Patriots are even better prepared for this 2002 NFL season than they were last year? Do the Pittsburgh Steelers, with Kordell Stewart and Jerome "Groin Pains" Bettis as their primary offensive weapons, really pose the biggest threat to the Pats’ defense of their AFC title?

• Does anybody else have a bad feeling about the Red Sox’ chances for postseason play? I have this uneasy hunch that too many people are assuming that if the team is still in the hunt in September, it will ride the wave of an easy schedule to the playoffs. Yet one forgets that in recent months, the so-called patsies have not rolled over and played dead as easily the Sox would like, and in fact, Boston’s record against the lousy teams since July 4 has been nothing to crow about: Toronto (1-3), Detroit (2-3), Baltimore (2-1), Tampa Bay (4-2), and Texas (2-2). In addition, the Sox’ clutch hitting of late has been nowhere to be found. Consider: the last time Boston rallied from behind for a win from the seventh inning was on July 18, and more often than not this season, if the team falls behind, it loses. Simple as that. Can you remember the last time the Sox had an old-fashioned bottom-of-the-ninth game-winning rally? Neither can I. It almost happened on Wednesday night prior to Terrence Long’s miracle catch off Manny, but one probably has to go back to last summer to dig up the kind of late-inning magic that sends the fans home shocked and (non-)chagrined. In addition, the team’s home record is a nondescript 29-26, its record in one-run games is 11-17 overall (compare that to Oakland’s 22-8) and 4-16 in their last 20, and the team has played below-.500 ball since Memorial Day. Does this sound like a team that can turn it around at the drop a the hat and streak to the postseason, or does it sound more like last year’s edition, which sank like a stone come September? Forty-nine games left. Final question: heroes or goats? Final answer?

Sporting Eye runs Mondays and Fridays at BostonPhoenix.com. Christopher Young can be reached at cyoung[a]phx.com.