Red Sox fans and New York Yankees principal owner George Steinbrenner have not agreed on many things over the years, but lately Georgy Porgy has been making a lot of sense, at least in Bostonians’ eyes. Sure, the Boss has had some lamebrained schemes and ideas in the past, but right now his intuition is sound: Joe Torre is nothing but a troublemaker, a slacker, and a manager unable to get the most out of his team, and therefore, he must go. From the John Henry seats to the Monster seats, it’s clearly obvious.

That’s right. Joe Torre needs to be dismissed by the team, and Sox fans are 100 percent behind the Empire on this one. The housecleaning should begin sooner rather than later, says Red Sox Nation, in order to spare the pinstripers the ultimate indignity: losing games this weekend at Shea Stadium to the crosstown Mets. Torre should be sent packing, and while he’s at it, George might as well get rid of that pretender of a bench coach, Don Zimmer; pitching coach Mel Stottlemyre; and general manager Brian Cashman. After all, it’s obvious that this $150 million team is underachieving on a grandiose scale.

Let’s take a quick look at the facts before we send this 63-year-old Brooklynite and his minions onto the AARP rolls.

First of all, the skipper has reportedly missed some organizational meetings. That is a slap in the face to the by-the-book reign of Steinbrenner. Torre has apparently also not returned some calls from the grand poo-bah’s palatial office, and that also does not sit well. But the far more serious accusation against the former major-league third baseman is that the team that he is overseeing is not winning enough. And that usually is enough to toll the death knell for any manager.

Yet add to those transgressions the fact that Torre appointed Derek Jeter captain without George’s blessing. Jeter, that nightclub hound dog, is now in the same venerable club as Mattingly, Nettles, and Guidry? Next thing you know, Mariah Carey will be named team hostess on the team’s charters.

But seriously. The Yankees, with their $150 million payroll, have definitely underperformed, and any fan of the Red Sox or Bronx Bombers would be quick to agree with that premise. After all, Vader’s Raiders are only 42-29, and being only 13 games above .500 is not the Yankee way. Didn’t this team start out 20-4? Since then, it’s gone just 22-25, and that’s unacceptable, plain and simple. Sure, the team’s in first place in the AL East — a perch that the ’stripers have found themselves in at the conclusion of six of the past seven seasons. But their lead over the hated Crimson Hose is only a single game, and it’s two-thirds the way through June! With a payroll differential of nearly $53 million, the lead in the East should be a helluva lot more than a measly game. Even worse, the Ying-Yanks’ total payroll is a full $100 million over the Toronto Blue Jays, and the Jays just a month ago took four straight at Yankee Stadium. That is completely intolerable, and somebody has to take responsibility. If Torre won’t do it, and Cashman won’t do it, then they should both pack up their pinstriped American Touristers and head home to think about the irreparable harm they have done to the team, its employees, and its cuddly and diehard fans.

Need more ammunition? What on earth was going on in Detroit a week and a half ago? Here come the vaunted Yankees into Motown against arguably the worst team in baseball — a team that even two weeks later still has only 17 wins — and its $49 million total payroll, and the Bronx Zookeepers actually lost a game there. And they almost lost two! If not for a pair of 17th-inning home runs by Alfonso Soriano and Jorge Posada, the Yanks would have lost, 9-8 instead of winning, 10-9.

Even more recently, the 23-44 Tampa Bay Devil Rays came to town, and beat New York, 11-2 at home this past Tuesday. Can you believe it? Losing to the Devil Rays at home? And on Wednesday, it took the two teams 12 innings before anybody scored, and the Yanks were fortunate to come away with a 1-0 victory over a team with a team ERA of 5.12. Two out of three against a squad whose combined annual paychecks total $19 million and change just ain’t gonna cut it. It’s sweep or weep, Joe.

Add to those struggles the misery that the team put poor Roger Clemens through as he valiantly fought to secure his 300th win. With a packed house on Memorial Day, Torre’s tories couldn’t get the Rocket that milestone against his former Boston team, and then followed up that failure with two more missed opportunities in Detroit and Chicago, before the big lug finally got it against St. Louis a week ago. What kind of manager cannot inspire his team to put out all the stops for the sake of a historic achievement, instead allowing the ace of his staff to go through more turmoil than can humanly be imagined?

Now let’s look at the big picture. Torre hasn’t had the Bombers to the World Series in almost two full years. And they haven’t won it in nearly three! Sure, compared to stumblebums like the Red Sox up the coast, that may not seem so bad, but the Yankees organization has much higher standards than that, and if your manager cannot get you to the Fall Classic every year or so, then it is obvious that a change must be made. It just makes sense.

Oh sure, so-called Yankee fans say, why don’t you look at the four championships that Torre has won during his seven-year tenure at the helm of the team? Old news. True Yankees fans want and deserve results now, and the fact of the matter is that the team made famous by Ruth, Gehrig, and DiMaggio has not won a World Series since they beat the Mets in six in 2000. Since then, they blew a 3-2 Series lead against Arizona in 2001 (and a 2-1 ninth-inning lead in game seven), thereby shaming Yankees fans to no end, and then — even worse — not even getting out of the first round of the playoffs last year. They lost to a wild-card team in the first round of the playoffs; sacre bleu.

Is there any reason to believe things will get better as this season progresses? Sure, the team added Hideki Matsui, Jose Contreras, Ruben Sierra, and Todd Zeile this season, but Steve Karsay is out for the year, and Nick Johnson, Contreras, and Bernie Williams are also on the DL. The manager and GM need to take some responsibility for that. Or maybe the team trainer does. Either way, bags need to be packed. Somebody’s got to pay if the season is to be saved, and any team that is just a game up with 90 games to play needs to be retooled. And since a fish rots from the head down, then off with its head.

Check that. King George ain’t going anywhere, so the next level of management — Torre and his co-conspirators — are the logical fish-neck candidates.

Once the proverbial housecleaning has been completed, there are plenty of candidates to replace the ousted regime. As GM, there is no more suitable candidate to replace Cashman than former Sox GM Dan Duquette. After all, he is already on familiar terms with reliever Chris Hammond and, of course, Clemens, and the Duke would certainly return the Boss’s calls, wouldn’t he? He has a strong track record in that regard.

Bench coach? Stump Merrill probably deserves another chance, if only because Billy Martin’s unavailable due to a previous engagement pushing up daisies. Pitching coach? Heathcliff Slocumb’s looking for work — he’s an ideal candidate to groom for a future managing position, and this would be a good inconspicuous place for him to try his hand at coaching.

Finally, manager? Bobby Valentine’s itching to get back in the game, but only if he can bring along his fake moustache. Nah, he’s a former Met skipper — he probably would have some long-festering ulterior motives. Kevin Kennedy? The former Sox manager would also probably be packing some proverbial baggage. Yogi Berra? Who cares if he’s 78 — he’s a Yankee through and through, ain’t he? Joe Pepitone?

Okay, I think we’ve got just the candidate. A guy who bleeds pinstripes, who knows the Yankees tradition inside out, who wishes he could wear the interlocked NY hat to bed and beyond. He is beloved by his teammates, and has the steel-trap mind and demeanor to lead the proud franchise back to the promised land. Sure, he may get thrown out of a few games with his volatile temper, but that kind of feistiness and fire is just what this lackadaisical band of overpaid multimillionaires needs right now. Yep, there’s no doubt that the House That Ruth Built would be just the place for the debut of Roger Clemens, player/manager.

Perhaps George wouldn’t agree with these personnel suggestions, but Red Sox fans are sure to back him no matter who he picks. Just as long as the change is made, because while the team is indeed a first-place team, its hold on the lead is precarious, and the team as presently constructed is too complacent, laid-back, and talented.

So by all means, George, Fenway’s Faithful begs you to do what’s in your heart and what will return the pride that has been missing from the organization for all of these long, long 32 months. Joe Torre must go, because he represents all that is wrong with the franchise right now.

And Joe, once that pink slip’s issued, give Theo Epstein a call, won’t you?

Sporting Eye runs Mondays and Fridays at BostonPhoenix.com, and Christopher Young can be reached at cyoung[a]phx.com