E-Mail This Article to a Friend All things playoffs BY CHRISTOPHER YOUNG

Bruins? Bah. Celtics? Snore. Red Sox? Check back in a month. It’s playoff time in football, and that’s all that matters.

I haven’t seen the Nielsen ratings for this past week’s NFL playoff games, but I would guess they were fairly low in the Greater Boston area. Why? Because football fans around here, assuming that they’re Patriots fanatics, most likely spent the unseasonably mild weekend getting the last of their chores and "Honey-Do List" items in the can before they focus their attention on Patriots football for the next four/three/two/one weekends. And when the upcoming weekend hits and the Pats are on the tube engaging in post-season warfare, it will be Katy-bar-the-door time in Boston-area households.

Feed the cat? Didn’t I just do that yesterday? Take out the trash? It won’t smell any worse by tomorrow. Shovel the driveway? Where the hell am I going, anyway?

It has been a long, loooong time since New England football fans headed into the playoffs with their team viewed as the odds-on favorite to win the whole chalupa. In 1985-’86, the team had to win three playoff games on the road just to get the opportunity to get destroyed by the Chicago Bears; in ’96, the Pats benefited from a stunning first-round ouster of the heavily favored Broncos at the hands of the visiting Jaguars, thus getting a nearly free pass to the Super Bowl; and two years ago, New England was still regarded as an also-ran in the playoff field compared to the mighty Raiders, Steelers, Eagles, and ultimately, the "Greatest Show on Turf" Rams.

Now the Patriots are riding the crest of a 12-game win streak and are again respected as one of pro football’s ultimate "teams." Still, the idea of the New England football team as a "Super Bowl favorite" remains an anomaly. Do they deserve this favored status? We’ll just have to wait and see. And while we wait for Greg Gumbel and Phil Simms to make their way to the booth for the Saturday-night kickoff at Gillette, let’s recap the rest of the weekend’s now-completed playoff tilts.

Baltimore-Tennessee. The Ravens were quietly discussed as one of those teams that the Patriots perhaps wouldn’t want to play in the second round, since Baltimore’s frightening defense and record-setting running back could have posed problems. Turns out that there wasn’t much to fear from the Ravens: a Bill Belichick–designed defense would have made mincemeat of their third-string quarterback, and Orlando Brown would have ground any potential scoring drive to a halt by committing an inane personal foul at the worst possible time. Even better for New England fans, the hard-hitting contest took a lot out of the Titans, who emerged with a 20-17 victory but saw QB Steve McNair beaten up even further than he already was. Tennessee also lost running back Eddie George to injury for a spell with a separated shoulder. McNair was practically immobile by the end of the game, and his three interceptions were the only reason the Ravens were still in the contest. Given the fact that the Titans have now played three straight emotion-packed games, and their rendezvous with the Patriots at Foxborough this weekend will be their third road game in the last four weeks, and they are beat-up and face a well-rested and healthy team in a hostile environment where they have already lost once this season — well, I like New England’s chances to advance to the AFC title game on January 18.

Dallas-Carolina. What a prime-time dog this was. Can you imagine any reason to televise this game in the highly coveted Saturday-night slot other than the presence of the Tuna Fish on the sidelines? Hire a babysitter and turn off the phone — it’s Quincy Carter versus Jake Delhomme in a fierce mano-a-mano clash of the titans! Only on ABC! Okay, maybe the Panthers, 29-10 victors in Saturday’s epic battle in Charlotte, will turn out to be the Cinderella story of the 2003 season. But I’m still trying to figure out what they’re doing in the playoffs since their only regular-season victories were against Jacksonville, Tampa Bay (twice), Atlanta, New Orleans, Indy (okay, somewhat impressive), Washington, Arizona, Detroit, and the Giants. See any other playoff teams there? At any rate, Bill Parcells can now head back to the Jersey shore to begin writing the sequel to his My Final Season autobiography (written after he resigned his Jets post four years ago). The Panthers can head to St. Louis, where their defense could actually make a game of it against the overrated Rams. Just what FOX Sports needs: a Carolina–Green Bay NFC championship game, in which the two teams from the smallest TV markets play for the chance to get annihilated by the AFC representative in the Super Bowl.

Green Bay–Seattle. When most of us are in our golden years, we will talk in glowing terms of the pro-football stars from our primes, and for many of us, Brett Favre will top that list. When this guy retires, one of the fiercest competitors ever to play the game will leave behind a void that cannot be filled. If not for Favre, the Packers would still be waiting for their first return to the Super Bowl since 1968. Favre led the Pack to their 33-27 OT victory over the hard-luck Seahawks on Sunday, although it was the defense’s heroics in sudden death that lifted Green Bay to the NFC semifinals. Imagine being a Seattle football fan: your team has won exactly three playoff games total in 28 seasons, but still closes out the regular season with a sterling effort and clinches a playoff berth. Its reward is to go to Green Bay (where it already got trounced once this season), where the Hawks turn in a solid effort, even rallying for a tie in the final two minutes of regulation. Then your team actually wins the coin toss prior to overtime, and begins driving down the field before — yikes — QB Matt Hasselbeck is intercepted by Bob Marley, er, Ricky Williams, um, Al Harris, and the dreadlocked cornerback returns the errant pass for a game-winning TD. At least Hasselbeck gets to go home to the lovely Elisabeth from Survivor: Australia; the rest of Seahawks fans want him to sleep with the fishes. Actually, he may have to, since it’s his brother, Tim, who’s married to the Survivor beauty.

Denver-Indianapolis. Not that I’m a betting man, but a key piece of advice I have always found helpful (to pass along to friends) is to beware the chances of an NFL team playing its third consecutive road game. The Broncos confirmed that myth, as they got pummeled, 41-10, in the RCA Dome by the Tony Dungy–led Colts, and Indy finally chalked up its first playoff win with Peyton Manning calling the shots. The loss was a devastating blow to the Broncos, which had beaten the Colts by two touchdowns on this same field just two weeks ago, but their heads didn’t seem to be in the game — "We didn’t show up," said head coach Mike Shanahan. For Colts fans, it was sweet redemption after last year’s debacle in the Meadowlands, when the Jets swamped the Colts, 41-0, in the first round of the playoffs. For Broncos fans, it was another empty feeling as they recall the glory days of John Elway, when the team actually qualified for the playoffs on a regular basis and usually went pretty far in the post-season. And for Patriots fans, it was perhaps another sigh of relief, since the Broncos would have been New England’s upcoming foe had the Colts managed to lose this game. Denver had been playing excellent football, having won five of its last seven to clinch a post-season berth. With Jake Plummer back at the helm, running back Clinton Portis running wild, and the defense having shut down the high-powered offenses of both KC and Indy within a three-week stretch in December, the Broncos were viewed as a formidable opponent. Instead, they played with as much passion as the My Little Ponies figurines that Santa delivered to my four-year-old a week ago. Now the two teams that Denver dismantled last month meet in Arrowhead Stadium for what should be a vastly entertaining affair, with the over/under figure set somewhere around 80. Not that I have any idea what that means.

The Sugar Bowl, a/k/a the BCS Championship Game. The folks over at the Bowl Championship Series are getting a bum rap, since the system put in place to solve the past problems of disputed college-football national champions inexplicably broke down again this season. Although the Associated Press and Coaches Poll both picked Southern Cal as the number-one team prior to the Bowl games, the Trojans didn’t even get the chance to play in the national-championship game because the final regular-season BCS poll had them at number three. Alas, Oklahoma — which had been thoroughly humiliated by Kansas State, 35-7, in the Big 12 league-championship game last month — had nonetheless built up such a big lead in the BCS standings prior to the loss that it remained in the top BCS slot, thus getting the opportunity to play LSU in the title game. USC went out and defeated a good Michigan team, 28-14, in the Rose Bowl on New Year’s Day, while LSU stifled Heisman Trophy winner Jason White and the Sooners, 21-14, in Sunday’s Sugar Bowl to claim the BCS share of the collegiate-football championship. So what should have happened? Use some common sense: Oklahoma played a great season, but once it got beat so badly by Kansas State in the conference-championship game, it should have forfeited any hope of national titles. LSU? It too had a great regular season, but it’s tough to overlook that one loss — a 19-7 home defeat to Florida, a team that finished 8-5, including three losses on its home field. LSU’s defense was amazing Sunday night, though, and the team did win seven games in a row (by an average of 23 points a game) after the October 11 loss to the Gators. Furthermore, playing in the tough SEC provided the Tigers with solid strength-of-schedule points. Southern Cal’s only defeat this season was a triple-OT loss in late September to Cal, and the Trojans won nine straight after that — and every one by three TDs or more. It’s too bad that one of the three teams — Oklahoma, LSU, and Southern Cal — had to be left out of the BCS title game, but the committee did the best it could under the system in place, and in the end, the two deserving champions will each get its own distinct championship to celebrate and savor. It’s just too bad that we can’t find a way for USC to play LSU in a couple of weeks to determine the undisputed 2003-’04 champ. But that would make too much sense.

Now it’s time for you to excuse me, but the weekend playoff action beckons — and to hell with the dishes.

"Sporting Eye" runs Mondays and Fridays at BostonPhoenix.com. Christopher Young can be reached at cyoung[a]phx.com