E-Mail This Article to a Friend America’s ‘Second City’ is second-rate sports-wise BY CHRISTOPHER YOUNG

We have repeatedly pointed out how lucky we New Englanders are right now to have such a bounty of sports riches at our disposal. In our midst are the MLB champs, the NFL champs, and the NCAA men’s and women’s hoop champs. We should rightfully feel blessed, and count our lucky stars at every opportunity.

On the other end of the spectrum, though, are the hapless sports fans of Chicago. They have a history of sports glory on their side, but are mired in one of the worst across-the-board local-team slumps in recent memory. Add to that the fact that the sole team that did reasonably well — the ’04 Cubs — is now the last remaining baseball team to be perceived as cursed, and things are more than blustery in the Windy City these days.

How bad is it? Well, let’s look at the Cubs. On September 24, they were 87-66, 1.5 games ahead of the Giants and 2.5 ahead of the Astros in the wild-card standings with just nine games to go. Better yet, looming on the schedule was a pair of games at the last-place Mets followed by a seven-game home stand — four against the 72-83 Reds and three with Atlanta. Riding a four-game win streak with a creampuff schedule and so much on the line, the playoff berth was in the bag, right? Wrong, billy-goat breath. The Cubbies dropped back-to-back one-runners at Shea, lost three of four to the Reds (and scored just seven runs in 33 innings in the losses, which included consecutive 12-inning setbacks), and by the time the Tomahawkers came to Wrigley, Chicago was a game behind both the Astros and Giants for the wild-card. Houston came back to win it, and the Cubs ultimately lost seven of nine to close out the season. Worse, during the el foldo, TV color man Steve Stone was merciless from the booth in his criticism of the team, upsetting team members so much that reliever Kent Mercker even called the press box mid-game to complain. An example? "You want the truth. You can’t handle the truth," Stone said at the time. "The truth of this situation is an extremely talented bunch of guys who want to look at all directions except where they should really look and kind of make excuses for what happened. At the end of the day, boys, don’t tell me how rough the water is, you bring in the ship." Stone, who reportedly was even threatened with physical harm by unnamed players, resigned his position in October, but local fans were outraged that Stone’s candid criticism indirectly led to his exit.

And let’s not forget the Sammy Sosa saga: the local icon hit just .253 this year with 35 HRs and 80 RBIs, but dissed manager Dusty Baker by not showing up to the season finale until 70 minutes before the game, and then left early (despite lying and saying he stayed in the clubhouse until the seventh inning — surveillance cameras caught him leaving just 15 minutes into the game). Sosa is due $17 million for 2005. That’s a lot of moolah for a strikeout king on the downside of his career, but it’ll be even tougher to deal him at that rate. Hard feelings linger, and an off-season of controversy awaits this talented but underachieving organization.

Across town, the White Sox also added to the long list of futility, though hopes for that 83-79 team were far below those of their north-side brethren. Injuries to key players killed the Sox’ chances late, and they finished nine games behind the Twins in the AL Central. Whatever the excuse, the hardball-title drought in Chi-Town reached 87 years for the Sox and a mind-boggling 96 years for the Cubbies.

There’s little hope elsewhere for Midwestern sports fans: the NFL Bears have missed the playoffs in eight of the last nine seasons, and judging by their 4-7 record in 2004, the Monstrosities of the Midway will be staying home this January as well. The Bears, despite their long history, have only appeared in one Super Bowl ever, and that was back in 1986. That year was the Patriots’ first of four appearances in the Big Game.

Not much better news to report from the United Center, where the Bulls have never been the same since Michael Jordan retired from the team — six straight putrid seasons since the ’98 title — and the Blackhawks are mired in their own lengthy slump (one playoff berth in the last seven seasons, and no Cup since 1961). No wonder no one in Chicago is clamoring for the NHL to return to action; they’re better off without the ’Hawks spoiling their wintah.

There’s no respite from the sports doldrums even on the collegiate side. Former NCAA hoops powerhouse DePaul has been irrelevant for years, and Northwestern University’s Rose Bowl season of 1995 — when the team lost to the Keyshawn Johnson–led USC Trojans — is but a distant memory.

Winter’s coming, but New England sports fans are feeling toasty warm. Not so in Chicago, where hope — any kind of hope — remains in cold storage.

"Sporting Eye" runs Mondays and Fridays at BostonPhoenix.com. Christopher Young can be reached at cyoung[a]phx.com.