E-Mail This Article to a Friend The nation’s eight worst sports cities BY CHRISTOPHER YOUNG

Earlier this week, we penned the "Best Sports Cities" rankings; today, the other end of the spectrum.

Sports fanatics of the cities below, hear me out: please, do not take this charting too personally. Trust me, it is not your fault. More often, ending up on this dubious list is the result of bumbling ownership and underachieving personnel, not the support of the fandom.

As in the earlier piece, we have a few parameters in place for this non-scientific rundown. To be considered, the metropolis must have at least three pro sports franchises (that gets you off the hook, New Orleans), and only those teams will be considered. Our choices are based on how well teams are performing right now (or in their just-completed seasons).

8) Chicago. I know, I know, this is a bit unfair, what with the White Sox boasting baseball’s best record and the Cubs in second place in the NL Central. Still, those injury-ravaged Cubbies are barely at .500, and the other teams in town? Yuck. The Bulls came off six straight horrible seasons before finally turning respectable (47-35) this year; the Bears have won 16 games combined over the past three seasons; and the Blackhawks were the NHL’s worst team before the lockout. So there.

7) Cleveland. Another fine and passionate city that deserves better, especially with the re-emergence of the Tribe (37-33 thus far on the heels of three straight losing seasons). But the Cavaliers authored one of the great gag jobs of the NBA season past (going 8-13 down the stretch to blow a certain playoff berth), and the NFL Browns have been a laughingstock each of the past two seasons, capturing all of nine wins total.

6) Tampa Bay/St. Pete. Hey, the Stanley Cup resides here! How dare you put this fine Florida city here? Easy, alligator-breath: the Devil Rays — despite taking three of four in the Bronx this past week — are still 21 games below .500, and this will be the eighth-straight year that the D-Rays will fail to break the 70-game win barrier. On top of that, the once-feared Buccaneers franchise has stumbled mightily since its 2003 title, going 7-9 and 5-11 in the two seasons since.

5) Phoenix. The Diamondbacks are at .500 — and that’s cause for celebration in the desert! You’d cheer, too, if your team was coming off a 51-win campaign in 2004. Not much has gone right for the Rattlers since their 2001 World Series win, but on the up side, Arizona only needs 15 more wins (out of 88 remaining) to top last year’s victory total. The Suns were indeed a solid NBA team this year, notching the West’s top seed with 62 wins, but they were blown out by the Spurs in the conference finals. Yet one can’t forget that the football Cardinals are still putrid, and the hockey team at last glance was the second-worst in the NHL.

4) Houston. Another city that took great pride in its hoops team this past season, as the Yao Ming–led Rockets submitted a 51-win season. Unfortunately, they were knocked out in the first round of the playoffs, and while they were doing that, the city’s baseball entity was stumbling out to a 15-30 start. The Astros have climbed back to 31-39, but they’re still a fifth-place team in the NL Central, and are baseball’s worst offensive club (.242 BA). In football, the Texans’ 7-9 record was the best in the team’s three-year history, but overall their progress has been slower than expected.

3) Milwaukee/Green Bay. Ho-hum, the Packers made the playoffs again, but how impressive is it when you lose in the first round (at home) for the second time in three seasons? Still, that’s the area’s highlight team; the Bucks have the top pick in the upcoming NBA draft, which shows you how their recent season went, and the Brewers have improved this season — if 33-39 is considered an improvement. (And given past history, trust me, it is.)

2) Carolina. A region, not a city, but for these purposes I think it’s fair to lump the states’ teams together. The Panthers followed up their Super Bowl season with an injury-riddled 7-9 campaign, but that’s still light-years ahead of where their NHL (the Hurricanes have missed the last two sets of playoffs) and NBA (the expansion Bobcats won all of 18 games) counterparts stand. How ’bout them Tar Heels, though?

1) SF/Oakland. In 1989, these two cities played each other in the World Series; this season, they have two of MLB’s worst teams. The Barry Bonds–less Giants are fourth in the NL West at 30-41, while the A’s are last in the AL West at 32-40. Sorry, it gets worse: the 49ers were the NFL’s worst team and had the top draft pick to prove it, and the renegade Raiders have snatched up all of nine wins over the past two seasons. And finally, the pièce de résistance: the NBA Warriors’ 34 wins marked the 11th-straight season that the Oakland-based team missed the playoffs. The Bay Area? A pathetic sports wasteland; good thing there’s a nice bridge there for local sports fans to launch themselves from.

With all that said, aren’t you New Englanders glad you live around here?

"Sporting Eye" runs Mondays and Fridays at BostonPhoenix.com. Christopher Young can be reached at cyoung[a]phx.com