(To the tune of " My Favorite Things. " )

Bush is indignant, he’s bashing on tables.
Ice caps are melting, the climate’s unstable.
Richard Reid trying to light up his string.
These are a few of the terrible things.

Bombs in apartments and bugs in our burgers.
Taliban die-hards disrupting the jirgas.
Indian warplanes with nukes on their wings.
These are a few of the terrible things.

Jobless rates rising, the stock market falling.
The new Star Wars movie is simply appalling.
Wildfires marking the advent of spring.
These are a few of the terrible things.

When the birds sing,
When the Sox win,
When I’m feeling high,
I simply remember these terrible things
And then I don’t feel so fly.

Crop-dusters carrying murderous cargoes.
Dead DC interns and oil embargoes.
Sabers are rattling out in Beijing.
These are a few of the terrible things.

Featherless chickens and Frankenfood Cheetos.
Dwindling codfish and killer mosquitoes.
People with cell phones with musical rings.
These are a few of the terrible things.

Hussein is in power, he’s stronger than ever.
Abu Zubaydah is too gosh-darn clever.
Osama’s alive with his arm in a sling.
These are a few of the terrible things.

When the trees bloom,
When the sky’s blue,
When I’m oh so glad,
I simply remember these terrible things
And then I feel really bad.

Guns in the classroom, a bomb in the mailbox.
Junk mail and hate mail and anthrax and smallpox.
Internet predators, preachers who swing.
These are a few of the terrible things.

Terrorist warnings are issued twice daily.
Teenage fanatics exploding Israelis.
Don’t drink the water: the arsenic stings.
These are a few of the terrible things.

The government’s run by a blithering moron.
But don’t you dare say so, you know there’s a war on.
Pork-barrel congressmen saying, Ka-ching!
These are a few of the terrible things.

When the sun glows,
When the wine flows,
When I’m feeling gay,
I simply remember these terrible things
And then I exclaim, Oy vey!

This item was originally published here on May 24.