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DEPT. OF BREASTS
Talking pastie shop with Scarlett Fever
BY CAMILLE DODERO

" Comedy is a really easy way to get you to take off your clothes you’re thinking about other things, " says local performer Scarlett Fever. Although 98 percent of the stand-up comics in this country would beg to differ, the former ballet dancer’s not talking about charming the pants off someone else, but rather about shedding her own wardrobe in the name of sexy satire. In case you’ve been missing all the " titillation " puns in the national press, there’s a burlesque revival sashaying through clubs and bars around the country. And Fever, who’s a member of Through the Keyhole Burlesque, a local troupe that recently finished opening for Jonathan Richman on the Northeast leg of his recent tour, is among those resuscitating the art. This Sunday, she’ll be passing along burlesque basics to paying customers at Grand Opening! in a class called " Secrets of Burlesque: Pastie Making & Tassel Twirling. "

Fever can’t reveal all the secrets of burlesque because, y’know, that would spoil the course, but she can say what materials make perfect pasties. " Anything you can stick on your breasts is good, " Fever says. Carrots? " Sure. If you’re doing a bunny act, carrots would work. [Burlesque] is all about the theme. One of the girls in our troupe uses fried eggs like those Playskool rubber fried eggs for her waitress act. " What else do dancers use? " Another girl uses car-freshener trees for a drag act she does. I twirl big disco balls for a disco act I do. The possibilities are endless. "

Fever first learned her pastie-making skills at Tease-O-Rama, a two-year-old national burlesque convention. And although that initial instruction was certainly helpful, she promises to be better prepared than her first instructor. " [My teacher] told us how to make circular ones. Everyone had questions like, ‘How would you make a heart? How would you make a star?’ And she didn’t know. " Does she now know how to make star-shaped pasties? " Oh yeah, I can make everything. I’ve even made skull and crossbones. "

Pastie-making can also be environmentally friendly. " When I started out, I made my own out of fliers you know, those little cardstock paper fliers that people hand out at shows? And I recycled all my Christmas cards to use. " Like season’s greetings from grandma and grandpa? " Yeah. Since pasties are so close to my heart, each pair should mean something to me, right? "

But crafting your own personal pasties isn’t just a DIY way to design a burlesque costume — it’s nearly a necessity here in Boston, where there are few places stocking that kind of headlight cover. " When I first went to look for them, the only place I could find them was Spencer Gifts, " laughs the former ballet dancer. " They were called ‘Booby Tassels’ there.... But it’s really hard to find them [in Boston]. Since most of the strip clubs here are full nude, you don’t need them. Whereas in New York, there are some places you have to keep your nipples covered for more time, so they still sell them there. "

Fever points out that the art of satirical striptease doesn’t discriminate against smaller chest sizes. " So many women are like, ‘Wow, I wish I could do that, but I only have A cups,’ " says Fever, who in photos looks a few letters closer to Z. " But I’ve seen a man twirl. Anybody can wear pasties and anybody can twirl. It has nothing to do with the size of your chest. "

And what makes them stick? " Spirit gum, double-sided carpet tape, fake-eyelash glue, and liquid latex, " Fever says. So do they ever fall off? " All the time. There are constantly mishaps, but that’s part of the suspense: ‘Will I make it through the act with my pasties intact?’ "

Scarlett Fever will teach " Secrets of Burlesque: Pastie Making & Tassel Twirling " on Sunday, June 29, from 6:30 to 8:30 p.m., at Grand Opening!, 318 Harvard Street, in Brookline. If you’re nice, she’ll tell you her real name. Admission fee is $20; open to women ages 18-plus. Call (617) 731-2626.

Issue Date: June 27 - July 3, 2003
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