E-Mail This Article to a Friend CITIZEN OF THE SOUTH END Diane Parker remembered BY CHRIS WRIGHT

When Diane Parker died of liver disease last week, many of those who knew her were shocked. In fact, many people hadn’t even realized that Parker was ill. That she had kept her condition from her friends, however, came as less of a surprise. "Diane was not a woman without problems," says friend Greg Krupa, "but you never heard about them from her. I think her not letting us know about her illness was another way of alleviating our burdens."

In terms of physical stature, Parker, 46, was not large. Nor was she loud. Friends describe her as "petite" and "demure." All the same, Parker made a huge impact on everyone she met. "She was an exceptionally warm, caring person," says Boston Globe columnist Adrian Walker, a long-time regular at Anchovies, the South End restaurant-bar Parker ran with her life partner, Celeste Dorage. "She couldn’t do enough for the people around her."

Of course, such testimonials are often fodder for obituaries, but in this case the words "warm" and "caring" don’t begin to do Parker justice. Tales of her generosity are legion — the time she hired a lawyer for a worker who was having immigration problems, the time she kept a sickly employee on her company’s insurance after he’d stopped working for her. The AIDS Action Committee was just one of the local institutions she supported. She even took in a three-legged cat. "Everything she did in her life was above and beyond," says friend Paul Rinkulis. "I mean, it never stopped."

Rinkulis first met Parker in 1994, when he approached her about donating money to South End Youth Baseball, for which he serves as executive director. "Usually you go to someone, you have to do a song and dance," Rinkulis says. "But when she found out it was for kids and it was for free, her only question was, ‘What do you need?’" He adds, "Diane was one of the original sponsors for this league. Without her it wouldn’t be here."

Parker’s dedication to South End Youth Baseball went beyond the $10,000 she donated. Even in the three years since she and Dorage moved to Florida, where she indulged her passion for sailing, Parker came north once a month to go to games. Sometimes she’d bring goodies to the park, or take the kids back to her bar for soda and pizza. When she wasn’t around, says Rinkulis, "she was always calling to check on the games, to see if we needed anything." After her death, Parker’s brother Michael went to Florida to sort through her things. "One of the first things I found were these Little League baseball cards," he says. "She’d been looking at them."

On her frequent visits to Boston, Parker also hung out at her bar and found time to tease her brother. "She’d always call me by my full name, Michael Parker," he says, laughing. "I don’t know why." He adds, "I’m going to miss her phone calls, giving her a hug, that big smile of hers." Regulars at Parker’s bar, too, will miss her. "She just had a real light touch," says Krupa. "Frequently, after a martini or two, you’d be up in her kitchen with her and Celeste, and a meal would be cooked for you. A lot of restaurant owners would see that as one meal not bought at their bar. Diane provided good times for people, that’s what put a smile on her face."

On May 1, the first day of the Youth Baseball season, those in attendance will observe a minute of silence for Parker. At their own request, players will wear black arm bands. But those who knew her insist that Parker would not want them to spend too much time in mourning. "Well, she would appreciate seeing everyone have a little cry, the drama, I’m sure," says Dorage with a chuckle. "But she would certainly prefer that everyone celebrated her life, and their own lives. The really important thing here is that she may not have understood how much everyone loved her. I loved her more than I can express. But I shared her with everyone else. She was not exclusively mine. She gave that same love to everyone."

On Saturday, April 24, at 10 a.m., a memorial service for Parker will be held at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross, 1400 Washington Street, in the South End.