E-Mail This Article to a Friend REWORKING THE CLASSICS The emo prince BY CHRIS WRIGHT

I sought to cultivate the same ruthless practicality in my business that I had achieved in my music. I studied the lives of Napoleon and David Geffen, Machiavelli’s The Prince....

Many fans also criticized the music.... I reacted defensively, calling the fans "little bitches" in an interview with Guitar World magazine.

— Weezer frontman Rivers Cuomo, in a recent admission letter to Harvard, posted on his blog

XVII. Whether it is better to be loved than feared

Every entertainment figure ought to desire to be considered clement and not cruel. Nevertheless he ought to take care not to misuse this clemency. David Geffen was considered cruel; notwithstanding, he reconciled the Spielbergs and the Katzenbergs, unified them, and restored them to box-office gold. And if this be rightly considered, he will be seen to have been much more merciful than Michael Eisner, who permitted The Princess Diaries 2 to be made. Therefore a rock star, so long as he keeps his fans loyal, ought not to mind the reproach of cruelty.

Hence Rivers Cuomo revels in the inhumanity of his celebrity, saying:

I’m gonna play all night

I’m gonna beat you right

And mash you in the nads

And kick you outta sight.

Upon this a question arises: whether it be better for the rock star to be pissy or affable with his fans. It may be answered that he should wish to be both, but, it being difficult to unite them in one artiste, it is much better to be pissy. Because this is to be asserted in general of Weezer fans, that they are ungrateful, fickle, false, cowardly, covetous, and as long as you succeed they are yours entirely; they will offer you their blood, property, weekly allowance; but when you produce a terrible album they turn against you, calling you "crap" and "bogus."

Nevertheless, a rock star ought to inspire fear in such a way that, if he does not win love, he avoids hatred; because he cannot sell records while hate endures. But when it is necessary for him to proceed against criticism of his latest CD, though it may indeed suck, he must do it in a publication of repute, like Guitar World, and not some piddling indie rag. Besides, pretexts for calling fans horrible names are never wanting; for he who has begun to think he is a Lord Panty Pants will always find pretexts for speaking like one.

Returning to the question of being feared or loved, I come to the conclusion that a wise rock star should endeavor only to avoid bad reviews. For when a rock star is in the studio, and has under control a multitude of instruments, then it is quite necessary for him to disregard the fans and become a critical success. When this fails, he should attend an Ivy League college, which will restore his brainier-than-thou status. Such actions arise from nothing else than the rock star’s inhuman cruelty, which, with his boundless ego, made him revered and terrible in the sight of his fans, who are indeed but a bunch of little bitches.

Rivers Cuomo’s blog can be found at www.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.ListAll&friendID=1480919&Mytoken=20040726091420.