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PINKED OUT
Pink Floyd fan seeks revenge after Live 8
BY MIKE MILIARD

Sex Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten used to wear a ripped Pink Floyd T-shirt with I HATE scrawled angrily above the band’s name. It was the quintessence of punk: a DIY way to tell the world that, uh, he hated Pink Floyd.

But lots of people love Pink Floyd. In fact, one man loves Pink Floyd so much that he’s willing to go far beyond taking a Sharpie to his favorite shirt to make it known how deep his passions run. He’s willing to change his name, legally and permanently, to MTV Sucks.

Some explanation is in order. It all began during the cable station’s marathon coverage of Bob Geldof’s Live 8 concerts last Saturday. In London, history — of a sort — was being made, as aging curmudgeon Roger Waters joined his Pink Floyd bandmates David Gilmour, Nick Mason, and Rick Wright on stage for the first time since 1981. This was momentous stuff. (Even if the band members didn’t necessarily think so. "Like sleeping with the ex-wife," Gilmour described it.)

Then it happened. Right at the orgasmic apex of the wicked-awesome guitar outro to Floyd’s laser-show classic "Comfortably Numb," MTV cut to commercial. Minds were boggled. The Floyd reunion had been the highlight of the Live 8 — arguably even overshadowing the African poverty that Geldof was trying to call attention to. This was an outrage. This would not stand. So one viewer did what any true Pink Floyd fan would do in such a situation. He logged on to eBay.

"THIS WAS AN ACT OF PURE PROFITEERING AND ABJECT STUPIDITY," fulminated 45-year-old Clearwater, Florida, resident James Reed (a Floyd fan since age 12) on the auction site. So offended was Reed by this "SHEER MORONIC, DIMWITTED MOVE," that he promised, if bidding surpassed $3000, to change his name. And he wasn’t just blowing smoke. Everything — Social Security card, driver’s license — would bear the name MTV Sucks. "IF THE PRICE IS RIGHT I WILL ALSO TATTOO THAT SH!T ON MY A$$."

Reached by phone in Florida, Reed says he hasn’t decided exactly what that price is yet. But he’s not doing this for money. He’s doing it to protest a "stupid, stupid thing to do" to "the greatest rock-and-roll band ever."

It’s fitting, in a way. The members of Pink Floyd may each be millionaires many times over, but the pursuit of filthy lucre has never been their bag, man. Just listen to anti-capitalist AOR anthems like "Money" and "Have a Cigar." The starting bid last Saturday was one shiny penny, but by press time the page had received more than 8000 hits, and there had been 45 bids, jacking the latest offer to $100. (Bidding ends Saturday, July 9, at 9:16 pm EST.)

Reed doesn’t think he’ll hit his mark of $3000. But if someone ponies up the cash, he will change his name.

"If somebody pays it, I’ll do it," Reed says. "A deal is a deal. What would my life be like? I guess we’d find out."

Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. As Reed writes on the site, if worse comes to worse, "you can just call me Em."

Interested bidders can visit http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=1469&item=5596221082&rd=1&ssPageName=WDVW.


Issue Date: July 8 - 14, 2005
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