Say you’ve got some news, some really big news, like, "I’m getting hitched!" or, conversely, "Honey, we need to talk ..." Are you going to trust a crucial communiqué to a rinky-dink wireless device the size of a suppository? Hello?! You need a substantial phone, one that says, "Hey, I’m talking here!" So no more ring-around-the-Nokia; here are unique party lines that Alexander Graham Bell never thought of.
Calling all princesses! Borrowing a decorating clue from the movie Legally Blonde, POSH offers a marabou-covered French boudoir blower ($79) that simply screams girlie girl. This femme fatale model has yellow-gold ornate stylings and a lavish trim of whisper-soft feathers — just right for dialing up a perm for your poodle or registering a complaint against the bitch behind the Chanel counter. Available in lilac, red, pink, and white, dahhling.
"It’s the only phone I can ever find," says John Cowhig of the Museum Company. He’s got to be right, because there’s no misplacing the Sultan Phone, a handsome 1920s replica crafted in a rich cherry-wood finish and spiffed up with brass hardware ($89). But unlike real ’20s phones, this one features a push-button keypad and redial capacity.
Another retro model is the Telephone Mark I ($54.99), from the mucho masculine Spirit of St. Louis line of communication accessories, available at Dapy. Boasting brushed steel, metal handgrips, and a boatload of buttons, levels, and switches all bolted to a polished, light wood frame, this genuine battlefield reissue is perfect for the urban adventurer or Hemingway enthusiast. And here’s yet another one for the guys: the golf-bag phone ($29.97), complete with leather trim, golf tee, and putters, available at RadioShack.
You’re clearly part of the MTV generation if a ring or two just won’t do. You need bells and whistles, dogs and ponies — and, when you can get it, hard-core animation. Coca-Cola’s polar-bear phone ($52.49) — available at Circuit City Express — has enough arcade-like features to keep you amused and incommunicado for ages. When the candy-apple-red handset rings, the translucent-iceberg cradle lights up, and two adorable baby polar bears start skating around the pale blue pond, quaffing Cokes as papa polar bear looks on. (Mercifully, the touch of a button shuts off the sound, lights, and action.) The novelty phone has all the standard features, such as tone/pulse selectability, volume control, and last-number redial, plus hearing-aid compatibility. Even if no one’s calling, you can always push the demo button to fire up the action.
Where to get it:
• Circuit City Express, various locations, www.circuitcity.com.
• Dapy, Prudential Center, 800 Boylston Street, Boston, (617) 236-0482.
• Museum Shop, Prudential Center, 800 Boylston Street, Boston, (617) 267-0071.
• RadioShack, various locations, www.radioshack.com.
• POSH, 557 Tremont Street, Boston, (617) 437-1970.
