Best Local Loud Rock

Scissorfight

Viking Death Chant A while back I came across this weird album in a used-record bin called More "Bert and I" -- and Other Stories from Down East. Apparently there were a bunch of these spoken-word Bert and I records put out in the early '60s, purportedly to document a particular brand of small-town northern New England folklore as narrated by the heavily accented title characters. They're comedy albums based on the New England predilection -- which predates P.T. Barnum's Connecticut upbringing -- for the hilarious, and often a bit mean-spirited, tall tale. But the reason I picked up this particular Bert and I album was because it had a story on it called "The Iron Lung." See, there also happens to be this guy named Iron Lung. He's a tall tale in himself, as well as a teller of tall tales (whether on album, recounting violent yarns about northern New England's answer to Bigfoot, the Wendigo; or calling my house and impersonating a Boston Globe editor -- a tall tale that I bought!), and he fronts this totally rad heavy-metal band called Scissorfight -- and after all, what else is metal if not rock and roll's tallest tale? Give you an example: last year Lung started spreading this rumor about a Scandinavian black-metal band called Viking Death Chant, who were supposedly the second coming of Slayer and Skynyrd. Reportedly, they played only in burned-out churches, had been signed to a multizillion-dollar contract, and had booked their US debut in a super-secret show at the Middle East. An interview with Viking Death Chant even appeared in a local 'zine. When people showed up, Viking Death Chant were revealed to be -- you guessed it -- Scissorfight, naked from the waist up. And they were so good that no one was disappointed.

-- Carly Carioli