Friends with benefits

When you can't dress, eat, or go to the bathroom on your own, privacy takes a back seat to trust
By EUGENIA WILLIAMSON  |  September 24, 2010

1009_freeman_main
PERSONAL SPACE: Born with cerebral palsy, Alex Freeman’s sense of privacy isn’t like everyone else’s.

The End of Privacy
The world is watching: If you don't want the government, big industry, and some 15-year-old to know your secret, you're shit out of luck. And so far, no one knows what to do about it. By Mike Miliard.

Google: The ultimate Cockblocker. By Scott Fayner.

The Phoenix Editorial: Privacy.

Dorm life is super weird. Sleeping only feet away from someone else, showering in a stall while others shower alongside you, eating with dozens in the dining hall — the lack of privacy that marks dorm life resembles nothing short of an army barracks, a royal court, or prison.

Alex Freeman doesn't mind. Freeman is a 23-year-old communications major at UMass Amherst. When I paid him a visit on campus last week, I found a chirpy young dude in a motorized wheelchair with a glorious head of dark brown hair and an earring. Freeman is a hustler — in addition to his studies, he makes films, and is eager to get the word out about them. To wit, his latest short, Meet Annabelle, is a black comedy about a writer with cerebral palsy who spills his guts to a sex doll. (You can see the trailer and his other short films at youtube.com/user/alexanderfjfreeman.)

Like his subject, Freeman was born with cerebral palsy. He lives a life completely devoid of what most people would consider private moments: he can't get out of bed, eat, dress, shower, or go to the bathroom without someone there to help him. He uses a wheelchair to get around and orchestrates a battery of personal-care assistants in order to survive.

He's by himself only twice a week: Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, for two hours. It's the most time alone he's ever had.

When he was growing up in Brookline, Freeman's parents gave college students free rent in exchange for helping with his care. They were with him all the time. As a result, his sense of privacy isn't like anyone else's.

"Let me put it like this," he told me. "Most people would have a problem if someone helped them out in the bathroom. But I don't have a problem with that, because it's part of the human condition. . . . What needs to get done, needs to get done."

But in spite of this conditioning, he was miserable his freshman year at Fitchburg State University.

"I couldn't be in the dorm with the other freshmen, so they put me in a townhouse with a bunch of seniors who were really mean to me," he said. "They threatened to pop my tires." But empty threats were the least of his problems. His state-assigned personal-care assistants (PCAs) were very bad, to put it mildly. Some of them showed up late. Some of them showed up drunk. One didn't show up at all, leaving Freeman, half-starved, to sleep in his clothes in his chair.

"Because you're dependent on these people, you really feel like you can't do anything when you don't have their help," he said. "You feel helpless, like you're this parasite — you start to question if you're supposed to be alive."

1  |  2  |  3  |   next >
| More


Most Popular
ARTICLES BY EUGENIA WILLIAMSON
Share this entry with Delicious
  •   IS BOSTON RIGHT FOR WRITERS?  |  March 05, 2013
    Boston, the birthplace of American literature, boasts three MFA programs, an independent creative-writing center, and more than a dozen colleges offering creative-writing classes.
  •   INCREMENTALLY MORE KIND: GEORGE SAUNDERS CHANGES THE WORLD  |  March 05, 2013
    George Saunders: satirist, humanist, and — after 20 years, four magisterial short story collections, a novella, and a book of essays — now a bestselling author.
  •   INTERVIEW: THE PASSION OF MIKE DAISEY  |  February 14, 2013
    Last January, storyteller Mike Daisey achieved a level of celebrity rarely attained among the off-Broadway set when the public radio program This American Life aired portions of his monologue The Agony and the Ecstasy of Steve Jobs .
  •   GETTING BOOKED: WINTER READS  |  December 21, 2012
    Who cares about the fiscal cliff when we'll have authors talking about Scientology, the space-time continuum, and Joy Division?
  •   BRILLIANT FRIENDS: GREAT READS OF 2012  |  December 17, 2012
    You already know Chis Ware's Building Stories is the achievement of the decade (thanks, New York Times!), but some other people wrote some pretty great books this year too.

 See all articles by: EUGENIA WILLIAMSON