The Big Hurt: YouTube rap spam

Straight talk
By DAVID THORPE  |  September 13, 2012

bh914

If you read the comments of any major rap video on YouTube, you'll always see some authentic hustle shining through the racist bickering and Illuminati accusations. Aspiring rappers, dazzled by YouTube success stories like Soulja Boy, believe that fame is just a few dozen spam comments away. Rap spam ranges from cocky promo blurbs to weepy pledge-drive pleas; most are ignored, some are marked as spam, and one or two get some charitable thumbs-ups.

Do these comments really work? Are Kanye fans eager to explore the newest tracks by no-name YouTubers? Are A&R suits constantly scouring YouTube for undiscovered amateurs? I doubt it, but it's worth a closer look. Let's check out a few examples captured in the wild.

POSTED BY ENZZSCRILLAMUSIC ON KANYE WEST'S "MERCY" VIDEO:

IF YOU ACTUALLY GIVE A DAMN? AND READ ALL OF THIS, THEN THANK YOU! i work my ass off hoping to one day make it in the music biz, but its impossible to make it if nobody ever hears you, and its hard to get heard when you have no exposure. I dont have money for amazing music videos or big youtube advertisements . . . so all im left with is spam [. . .]You dont have to like me, just give me a chance to be liked. Thx

I appreciate EnzzScrilla's honesty and his everyman grind. He admits he's spamming, but without the big bucks and boutique VEVO channel, he's left stranded in an industry ruled by cash. Plus, he gets credit for humility: he's not asking for you to fall at his feet, he just needs a chance to be liked. Some points are deducted for the slightly aggro opener, which may have readers feeling accused before they reach the meat of the plea.

POSTED BY JW1GGS ON WIZ KHALIFA'S "NO SLEEP" VIDEO:

If you guys get a minute please just listen to my song called Kid. It's my most meaningful song and I want the world to hear it. Thank you

I'm all for brevity, but this is a pretty lightweight pitch. Who cares if it's some guy's most meaningful song? I don't know you, jw1ggs; you've got to work for it. (I checked out the track, and it's a maudlin white teen complaining that his dad doesn't take his rappin' seriously.)

POSTED BY YOUNGSOULJA462 ON CA$H OUT'S "CASHIN' OUT" VIDEO:

THUMBS UP IF YOU LIKE MY CASHIN IN (CASHIN OUT RMX) BETTER THAN THE ORIGINAL. APPRECIATE EVERYBODY THAT DOES CHECK IT OUT ON MY CHANNEL #KUSHSOCIETY KUSH IT OR PUSH IT!

After ceaseless radio bombardment, I like everything better than the original "Cashin' Out" — if Drake's "The Motto" weren't lingering in rotation, it would be running unopposed for most irritating rap song of the moment. Despite hitching his wagon to a shitty beat, youngsoulja's comment is a gem: it's bursting with all-caps enthusiasm; it's built around a tangible call to action; it avoids treacle and self-pity; it closes with a catchy motto and a tweetable stoner hashtag. The thumbs-up is well earned.

POSTED BY OZREDFOXX ON KIRKO BANGZ'S "DRANK IN MY CUP" VIDEO:

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