Is the anxiety of seasonal consumer obligation weighing heavy upon your soul? Lay your head in my lap, gentle reader, for I have been editorially obliged to compile a list of perfect (cheap) gifts for every member of your family. Bonus feature: since I am a sensitive liberal guy, I've left out all the specifically Jesusy gifts, so these should work even if you celebrate one of the Weird Ethnic Christmases.FOR THE MUSIC LOVER
Years ago, I was browsing a big-box store when an older woman approached me for some holiday shopping advice (this happens a lot, since I have a trustworthy face and the defeated posture of a retail employee). She held up a 3 Doors Down CD and posed a horrifying question: "Do young people still like music with loud guitars?"
She was trying to find a gift for her grandson, whose taste she seemed to know nothing about. Imagine being that poor kid, sitting there on Christmas morning in his Cure T-shirt, looking at the CD-shaped package from Nana with mounting dread, knowing it couldn't possibly be anything but the lamest shit ever. It broke my heart; I steered Grandma toward the sock aisle and gave her the same advice I'll give to you: never buy music for anyone unless you know exactly what they want. If you're looking for advice in a Holiday Gift Guide, you shouldn't be buying music. Even if you impeccably curate a selection of thoughtful music for the people you know best in the world, there's a 75 percent chance that you're actually Clueless Costco Grandma. Don't risk it.
Then again, CD box sets make perfect gifts due to their easy-wrapping rectangular shape, so I'll steer you toward something everyone can enjoy: please consider The Right Stuff Duck or Geese Calling Instructional CD Box Set ($39.99 from amazon.com by way of Mack's Prairie Wings — please note that you must choose either duck or goose). Each box set includes four CDs, taking you from the basic "Fundamentals of Success" all the way through the "Advanced Techniques." Whether or not your loved one is the sporting type, what could be more amusing than four solid hours of some guy explaining how to make goofy sex honks at wild fowl?
Related:
Billie Joe's crackup, Muse's truth, Ghost stories, Review: WFNX's Miracle on Tremont Street 2009, More 
- Billie Joe's crackup, Muse's truth
Jeers this week to regrettable behavior -- Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day is seeking treatment for substance abuse following a tantrum at the iHeartRadio Music Festival.
- Ghost stories
For all of the excitement that surrounded Wilco on the Maine State Pier or Sufjan Stevens at Port City Music Hall or the various sold-out Ray LaMontagne shows of the past year, there is no question that last Sunday's Phish show at the Cumberland County Civic Center was the biggest thing to hit our fair city in a very long time.
- Review: WFNX's Miracle on Tremont Street 2009
A quick, mildly sycophantic shout-out to the "powers that be" here in Phoenix -Land: This year's Miracle on Tremont Street was nothing short of a wicked pissah powerhouse bill. The grand old Orpheum creaked under the weight of a sold-out audience, and a pronounced feistiness prevailed .
- The Rolling Stones | Get Yer Ya-Ya's Out! The Rolling Stones in Concert
This live 1969 Madison Square Garden set was released at the band's peak, following Beggars Banquet and Let It Bleed , preceding Sticky Fingers and Exile on Main Street , and recorded a week before the disaster at Altamont.
- Wanting more
After its triumphant traversal of the complete Béla Bartók string quartets at the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum, the Borromeo Quartet was back for a free 20th- and 21st-century program at Jordan Hall, leading off with an accomplished recent piece by the 24-year-old Egyptian composer Mohammed Fairuz, Lamentation and Satire.
- The Big Hurt: 10-year glitch
It boggles the mind that as recently as a decade ago, if you wanted to hear "Knockin' da Boots" by H-Town (and you did, believe me), you'd have to perform a primitive prayer ritual: you'd call some creepy guy with a really deep voice and beg him to play it, then wait by your radio for an hour in the hope that he'd answer your plea.
- Beyond Dilla and Dipset
With a semi-sober face I'll claim that hip-hop in 2010 might deliver more than just posthumous Dilla discs, Dipset mixtapes, and a new ignoramus coke rapper whom critics pretend rhymes in triple-entendres.
- Local flavor
Local journalist and acclaimed hip-hop scribe Andrew Martin has corralled a flavorful roster of Rhody-based rap talent on the Ocean State Sampler , 10 exclusive tracks available for free download.
- John Harbison plus 10
Classical music in Boston is so rich, having to pick 10 special events for this winter preview is more like one-tenth of the performances I'm actually looking forward to.
- Shout it out!
Sharks Come Cruisin' founder Mark Lambert is a Warwick native with a penchant for reworking and penning sea shanties from centuries past, often revised with rollicking punk flare — all thanks to the golden pipes of Quint, the shark-obsessed skipper in Jaws .
- Punk wreck
Guitar punk rock has a long and, frankly, dull history.
- Less
Topics:
Big Hurt
, Music, CULTURE, The Big Hurt, More
, Music, CULTURE, The Big Hurt, holiday, gift guide, Less
