Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
This is a pretty unique problem, but I'm hoping that you could shed a little light on what I might be able to do. My name is Bernard Madoff Jr. Do you get the picture? I'm unrelated to the notorious Bernie Madoff, but I have noticed in recent months that people I meet give me strange looks or actually refuse to shake my hand. Even people I've known for some time are curious about whether I'm related to the Ponzi scheme king. Should I legally change my name? I've thought of that, but I don't really want to. I'm not in any kind of business where I handle other people's money, but this notoriety by accident is driving me crazy. What can I do?The Good Bernie
Dear Bernie,
Maybe when you are meeting people you should immediately note, "No relation to the other guy," or come up with some sort of witty rejoinder to instantly let people know. Eventually this will blow away, but I certainly feel for you and do not think it is something one need legally change their name over. Perhaps upon introduction you should say you're Bernard Madoff of the "Massachusetts Mafoffs" (or whatever state you're from). Remember, it was Bad Bernie's sons who turned him in. You are not that guy.
Old skeleton
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I'm in my late 20s and I've been going out with a wonderful person for almost three years. He's great, and our plans are heading in the direction of marriage, but I have a secret that I have not shared with him. He and his parents are quite religious. Many years ago, when I was 17, I became pregnant and had an abortion. I have good reason to believe that this would not sit well with him or his parents, so I am terrified of telling them this. I do not want to damage or destroy a very good and positive relationship with real potential. What should I do?
Afraid
Dear Afraid,
Dr. Lovemonkey does not believe it is necessary that you share every single detail of your former life, especially something that happened so long ago, with your significant other. If there have been no medical repercussions from this incident and it is something that you have moved past, it really isn't any of his or his parents' business. It would seem that you are a different person, and an incident from the past is best left to the past. Enjoy your current and good life.
BIG BABY
Dear Dr. Lovemonkey,
I love my husband of one year very much. He recently confided that he, at times, enjoys wearing adult diapers. He has been very apologetic about this, but I just can't seem to get over it. I have not seen him wearing the adult diapers, and I'm pretty certain that he never will, but the mental image is stuck in my mind. I am having a very difficult time coping with it. I don't want to leave him, or for this to have a negative impact on our marriage, but it is having an effect. Is this my problem? There's nothing wrong with my husband, and I know, intellectually, that there is really nothing wrong with his unusual obsession, kink, or habit, or whatever it is. What should I or we do?
