P-town after dark

Among the Liza Minnelli impersonators and the pumped-up dance crowd, there's still a space for the little old lady from Bridgeport

by Neil Miller

It's Saturday night in Provincetown. A cool breeze is blowing in from the bay. On the hill overlooking the town, the Pilgrim monument lights up, signaling the start of the evening. On Commercial Street, tourists jostle for benches in front of the town hall to get a front-row view of the passing scene. An oblivious young woman pushes a baby in a stroller. A drag queen in platform shoes glides by on a skateboard; a few doors away, someone is making a sand sculpture of Howard Stern. Over at the Atlantic House (the A-House), two white-haired heterosexual couples who look as if they just got off the bus from Bridgeport push their way to the door through hordes of gay men in shorts and tank tops. In front of the Crown and Anchor, Michael Lussier, doyenne of Provincetown female impersonators, stands in a red chiffon dress and black wig, beckoning passersby to the 11 o'clock performance with his nightly shill: "Showtime, ladies and gentlemen! Showtime!"

Nightlife in Provincetown means three things: people-watching on Commercial Street; dancing in crowded bars; and drag, drag, drag. For as long as anyone can remember, it has also meant gay and lesbian nightlife, although there are straight bars, too -- like the Governor Bradford, where on Saturday nights you can hear the rock band Space Pussy (featuring Ryan Landry, a drag performer in his other life). Meanwhile, the drag shows at the Crown and Anchor attract plenty of straight people, and no one looks twice when those couples from Bridgeport find a spot amid the buffed bodies on the A-House dance floor. (Folks might look twice, however, if the same couples wandered into the Vault, the leather bar in the basement of the Crown and Anchor.) All genders and sexual orientations mix at night in P-town, and often it's hard to tell who's what anyway.

As far as drag goes, the traditions are alive and well. They're still doing Bette, Barbra, and Liza at the Crown and Anchor. They've added Reba (McEntire) and Celine (Dion). But there's a new trend, too, light-years from The Birdcage: these days, in addition to the usual lip-synching to the usual divas, female impersonators are doing their own singing, and often they're presenting original material. Probably the best place to see the more cutting-edge drag is at the Iguana Grill, a small, low-ceilinged upstairs performance space that plays off-Broadway to the Crown and Anchor's Broadway. There, surrounded by gilt mirrors and chandeliers, and in front of a "waitress" wearing a camouflage gown, Where the Boyz R perform. Originally called Boys R Us, until the retailer Toys R Us threatened a lawsuit, the trio has done as much as anyone to bring female impersonation into the '90s.

Where the Boyz R is nothing if not up-to-date; witness their Alanis Morisette (with pigtails, oversized sweater, and black leather pants), Rosie O'Donnell (in a cream-colored "power" suit), Martha Stewart (in tasteful denim jacket and slacks), and Sally Jessy Raphael (she sings!). In fact, the trio's gifted comic, Kandi Kane, recently found herself, in Sally Jessy drag, on TV as a guest of -- who else? -- the real Sally Jessy Raphael. As much a cabaret act as a drag performance, Where the Boyz R has been playing to sold-out audiences all summer. (Shows are 8 p.m. on Monday and 9 p.m. Wednesday through Sunday. Tickets are $15 on weekends.)

Although drag dominates Provincetown nightlife, lesbian entertainment plays a growing role. The cavernous Pied Piper, for many years the town's only lesbian bar, now must contend with a spiffy new competitor called Vixen, located at the site of the old Pilgrim House, which is where Divine and Holly Woodlawn (of the Warhol set) performed in the '70s. Vixen manages to be both high-tech and cozy, featuring video screens, chess and backgammon games, and a large upstairs living room that draws the locals on weeknights and rainy afternoons.

Not surprisingly, women's comedy acts have proliferated in the past few years. On some nights, visitors can choose from two or three shows. Perhaps the zaniest is Dos Fallopia, the Seattle duo of Lisa Koch and Peggy Platt, who perform in a narrow space above the Post Office Café, on Commercial Street, that feels like someone's front parlor. (Koch is thin and gay; Platt is "full-figured" and straight.) Among their sketch characters are the Craft Lady, who offers lessons in how to turn a dildo into a reading lamp, and the inevitable nun, who teaches at the School of Perpetual Repression and sings a version of "My Favorite Things" that would make Julie Andrews blush ("Froot Loops for breakfast/Martinis for dinner"). The show's high point comes when the two comics perform excerpts from a fictitious LP of Ethel Merman and Katharine Hepburn singing Beach Boys songs. (Shows are at 7 p.m. daily except Wednesday; admission is $12 on weekends.)

Dance bars in Provincetown still cater mostly to gay men, and gay-male nightlife tends to be ritualized. It can start as early as 3:30 in the afternoon with the tea dance at the Boatslip, followed by the recently-initiated "After Tea" at the Pied Piper at 6:30. (In its battle with Vixen, the Pied has found a new weapon: men.) After dinner, on Friday nights, the A-House gets the biggest crowd. On Saturday nights, the place to be is the Summer Camp disco at the Crown and Anchor, with its large dance floor, outdoor deck, and odor of salt air mixed with melting Bain de Soleil. This is the haunt of circuit-party wannabes and the Ecstasy crowd. When the bars close at 1 a.m., hundreds of people hang out in front of Spiritus Pizza on Commercial Street, a scene in itself. The next morning, it's off to Muscle Beach, the local gym, to work off the excess calories from the night before.

Surprisingly, the best dance bar in town turns out to be the "mixed" (but mostly straight) NoNo's, out on Shankpainter Road, across from the A&P. (It's about a 10-minute walk from Commercial Street.) Now in its first season, NoNo's features a variety of styles and groups, ranging from the '50s and '60s retro of the Fabulous Dyketones to the '70s funk of Crown Electric Company, a Boston fave. Well-lit, well-ventilated, and brightly painted, the place absolutely pulsates with energy. During the week, it has become a favorite of townies, gay and straight, who want to escape the hectic downtown scene.

The locals will tell you that weekdays are really the best time to enjoy Provincetown nightlife, anyway; the lines are shorter and the cover charges less steep. The open-mic drag show at the Iguana Grill on Thursday nights, known as "Kook," draws enthusiastic audiences. On Tuesdays, at Club Euro, there's rock-and-roll drag artist Ginger Vitas's Provincetown All Star Review. And at Vixen, Monday through Thursday, lesbian comedienne Maggie Cassella does stand-up. On weeknights, when clubs have to compete for audiences, the stakes are higher and "the shows are more artistic," says Space Pussy's Ryan Landry. Landry, for the record, performs in Charles Ludlam's drag version of Medea on Tuesday nights at the Iguana Grill.

Everyone has an opinion on the best clubs and shows, of course. But if anyone embodies the spirit of Provincetown nightlife, it is Michael Lussier (a/k/a Bette, Barbra, and Liza) looking gorgeous in that red chiffon gown and black wig as he stands on Commercial Street trying to lure audiences to the Crown and Anchor. "In Provincetown, anything goes," says Lussier, who has been performing at the Crown for 11 years and in P-town for 15. "If you can't find it here, you might as well forget it."

Neil Miller's latest book is Out of the Past: Gay and Lesbian History from 1869 to the Present (Vintage, 1995).

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