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Frist grates. Plus, the Governator's tired routine.
BY ADAM REILLY
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WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 1, 2004, NEW YORK -- First, let me be clear: I will not call the Senate majority leader "Doctor Frist." If I ever meet him, I'll err on the side of courtesy and go with "Senator Frist" or "Mister Frist." In print, I'll just use "Frist." But if he's slinging the bullshit like he did Tuesday night, only "that huckster Frist" or "that charlatan Frist" will do. Take this unconscionably cynical portion of Frist's speech to the Republican National Convention. As he talked up George W. Bush's achievements on health care, Frist held up one of the cards senior citizens use to get the new Medicare prescription drug benefit. First he gave the good news: "Right now, thanks to the president's action, this Medicare prescription drug discount card is providing four million seniors with immediate relief from the high cost of their medicines." Then came the bad: "Now, some of our opponents don't want seniors to get this card. They don't want seniors to know that our party cut the cost of their medicines. They'd rather play politics than help patients." Back to the good: "Don't listen to 'em! You can get your card today. And it's simple. Just call 1-800-MEDICARE. Tell 'em you want your card. Tell 'em Doctor Frist prescribed it." Two related things are happening here: 1) Frist is pretending that valid criticisms of the prescription drug benefit -- like its prohibition of bulk purchasing discounts for the federal government, or its projected cost of $530 billion, a whopping $135 billion more than the Bush Administration originally claimed -- simply do not exist; and 2) Frist -- whose father founded Columbia/HCA Health Care, the largest for-profit hospital chain in the United States, which was fined over $1.5 billion dollars after systematically defrauding Medicare -- is using his M.D. to lend legitimacy to his specious arguments. Hopefully Frist was a less reckless physician than he is a politician. And to think he's touted as a possible Republican presidential candidate in 2008! The good news is that, barring an extreme oratorical makeover, Frist wouldn't have a chance. On Tuesday, Frist delivered his entire speech with the exaggerated gestures and sleazy unctuousness of a third-rate revival preacher. Even if voters didn't reject the content of his arguments in a national campaign, his manner alone would be too off-putting for all but the most committed Republicans. Does Daize Shayne have any inkling how totally talentless she is? Sorry, lost my train of thought for a second. (For those of you who didn't catch her Tuesday night, Shayne, a surfer, model, and wannabe singer, gave what will surely rank as one of the worst musical performances of all time.) Anyway, soon after Frist came Arnold Schwarzenegger, who -- how to put this? -- seems to be having trouble making the transition from movie star to politician. Schwarzenegger's speech contained no fewer than eight references to his movie personae and Hollywood in general, including: "One of my movies was called True Lies. That's what the Democrats should have called their convention!"; and, "Ladies and gentlemen, if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism, then you are a Republican!" These clever turns of phrase generated great delight among some of Washington, DC's most powerful personages. Dick Cheney, who appeared oddly moved by this last one, rewarded it with a standing O. But here's the thing: Schwarzenegger is still enough of a novelty -- and the RNC crowd was easy enough -- that Arnold could have said, "It's not easy for Maria to satisfy me sexually!", or "Sometimes my triceps get uncomfortable cramps!", or "In the summer I like a nice Rieseling!", and Cheney et al. would have gotten just as excited. Over time, this novelty is going to wear off (some would say it's happening already), and even Republican homers will start getting annoyed when Schwarzenegger insists on referencing his increasingly distant movie career. The clock is ticking, Governator. Enjoy it while you can.
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